Food thief

[Ariel Badger]

Twice in the last few months I have had my breakfast nicked from the fridge in the departmental staff room First time it was samosas and stuffed chillis and today my Jamaican spiced vegetable pastie. Both times they were left over night but gone in the morning. What should I do?
____________________
Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[Quornholio]

Make something with some of those lethal as fuck chili's you grow. Make a note of who calls in sick.

Bingo.
____________________
https://i.imgur.com/fMrhZnH.jpg?1
Everyone give this dood green karma pls --> https://www.bikechatforums.com/viewtopic.php?p=4045389#4045389
XxXxX

[FretGrinder]

[pepperami]

It would be very wrong to make something nice and tasty that also contains Ex-Lax or heroin or both and leave that in the fridge
____________________
I am the sum total of my own existence, what went before makes me who I am now!

[andy_uk]

[Fisty]

When I was having food pinched at work ( orange juice and leftovers in tuppawear) I carried on as normal but pissed in the OJ and put laxatives in the food. ( I kept the food I was eating in my bag)
After a week the food stopped being pinched but the OJ kept going. Another week down the line I left a note in the fridge saying....

"To whom it may concern, I hope you enjoyed the orange juice you have been pinching. For the last 2 weeks it has been 50% OJ and 50% my first piss of the day. I also wiped my unwashed cock around the neck of the bottle. Have a nice day!"

It was never touched again.
____________________
Quietly and consistently taking the piss.
TL1000R | Hayabusa | ZXR400 | TL1000S | Bandit 400 V
Fatter and faster than Fret

[hellkat]

Get your own mini fridge.

Cunts on my floor keep stealing my milk.

I'm happy to drink black coffee when it suits me, but not because some wanker has nicked my milk. I actually hate it that I have to label the fucking thing.

When I moaned about it to the other bird in my office she said that yeah, she used to put her milk in there and when she went in the general office and mentioned it, several people just laughed self-consciously as if to say "So?" - she couldn't pin it on one specific person.

I've taken to putting it downstairs in the fridge on the executive floor. Strange how nobody there steals it...

Best bet: don't leave food stuff there overnight.
Only take what you want for that day.
Annoying, I know.

There is no solution to workplace thieves.
Those that do it, just don't care.
____________________
Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[ripzay]

Cleaners emptying the fridge nightly so stuff that doesn't have use by dates on it doesn't go funky? Jus' sayin'

Next breakfast: poop pie.
____________________
Current: 2005 KTM SuperDuke 990
Previous: 1996 Suzuki Bandit 600
Previous: 1994 Suzuki GSX-R 400

[Ariel Badger]

I suspect one of the caretakers, he looks like a pie muncher. I may inject a pastie with chilli extract through the wrapper so it looks virgin.
____________________
Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[hellkat]

OK Fisty's solution would work

I just always wonder how the hell they steal it.

Do they stand in the kitchen stuffing it in their face in case you walk in and catch them?

And then if you did, and you said "Are you eating my samosa,you cunt?" would they barefaced go "NWOH! Owf cowrse no' ..."

Or do they stash it somewhere in their clothing and squelch back to their desk with their booty?
____________________
Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[Ariel Badger]

As I said caretaker, locking up after the cleaners have left. Liz our cleaner confirmed it was still there last night when she left.
____________________
Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[hellkat]

[dydey90]

Would it be worth baking a turd into a sausage roll?
____________________
This post is probably not serious and shouldn't be taken literally.
Past: CBR125,ER6f NINJA 650, ZZR600 Current: VFR750

[Fisty]

[Clanger]

I had incidents of milk theft. First time it happened to me, I knew it was a couple of the blokes in the house as when confronted they told me not to get shirty, it was only a bit of milk...

I duly went out, bought white vinegar and powdered milk and made up a concoction and left it as bait...

The second time it happened (another place another time), it was soya milk in a soya carton - I thought no-one would be interested...sheesh, how wrong could one be. So I used to add either green or blue food colouring to it. Job done.

As for stolen food. I put a note in my cupboard which read "I cannot afford to feed you too, so please close my cupboard and seek food elsewhere". It went down like a lead balloon (it was my landlady's fella who was stealing my stuff - she booted me out and moved him in )
____________________
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter won't mind - Dr. Seuss

[Ariel Badger]

I keep an emergency fiver on credit in the dinner hall for a sandwich if I have no food. They use a biometric system that recognises our fingerprints so that transactions are cash free. Unfortunately I wanted my food at 11 but had to hang on until lunch time when the sarnies come out for the 12.30 serving. At 12.10 I was hungry and asked my friend Ann if it was too early to give a dinner lady the finger.
____________________
Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[hellkat]

[map]

[Ariel Badger]

Nope, I have known her for years and trust her 100%.
____________________
Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[-Matt-]

[pepperami]

[pepperami]

[Boris the spider]

Ahhhhhhhh.

That old problem.

I had that with the station Inspector a few years ago. Fucker just helped himself to whatever food was in the kitchen.

Sergeant instructed me to make some lovely choc chip muffins.

2 packets of Senekot or whatever it's called.

1 bit before bedtime to make a " Loose bowel "

24 bits in a packet.... Have it.

48 bits....

Into 4 muffins, nice sprinkles on top. mmmmmmm

Fucker had 2 muffins. Went home and was ill for 2 days.

Lost a bit weight as well.

Food theft soon stopped...
____________________
Yes I'm a pig....And yes... The working public do pay my wages. Tho I contribute to your benefits you lazy c##t. You do not pay my wages. So go fcuk yourself.

[pepperami]

[Musketeer]

Crush some Senna tablets and conceal it in your meal.. That will teach the thief a lesson

EDIT: I rust read above posts and see somebody had the same idea
____________________
Current Bike: Yamaha XSR900 Previous bikes: Honda CBR1000RR Fireblade, Kawasaki ZX-6R Ninja, Aprilia RS125 2-stroke