Pimp My Walking Stick...

[MCW]

Not a euphemism.

At the BCF BBQ last year, lots of luvverly young men ran round putting up my tent for me etc., whilst I lazed around drinking the Suntan's gin and generally being unhelpful. This was not just because I am generally a lazy cow, (although I am), but also because I was having a few health problems which I was busy pretending weren't actually happening. I was hoping for an operation to put stuff right.

I have now been told that it is inoperable because I have a tumour from my hip that has wrapped itself around my spinal cord. This has pissed me off a bit. They are talking pain management and disabled badges. This has pissed me off even more.

OK, so I have to walk with a walking stick and I'm going to have to get stabilisers for the NTV. Suggestions please, to cheer me up, as to how best pimp my walking stick so that I can pretend I am not a washed up old bag.

Yours, in anticipation....,

[AlanC]

[chris-red]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lC6y7uMrNu0
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Well, you know what they say. If you want to save the world, you have to push a few old ladies down the stairs.
Skudd:- Perhaps she just thinks you are a window licker and is being nice just in case she becomes another Jill Dando.
WANTED:- Fujinon (Fuji) M42 (Screw on) lenses, let me know if you have anything.

[monkeybiker]

I met an old geezer in a pub with a walking stick and they covered it in badges of all the places they visit around england which I thought was pretty cool.

[LustyLew]

Shot Gun cane?
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Like a Yorkie - I'm not for the girls

[Dave500]

[stinkwheel]

Woven carbon fibre tube.

Seems not many people make them so you might have to source a bit of CF tube and fit the ends yourself. Surprisingly cheap.
https://www.easycomposites.co.uk/images/products/large/60mm-57mm-woven-finish-carbon-fibre-tube.jpg

Or bare, heat-treated titanium.
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I did the 2010 Round Britain Rally on my 350 Bullet. 89 landmarks, 3 months, 9,500 miles.

[growler]

https://www.instructables.com/id/Crowbar-Cane/

Crow bar!!!
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DILLIGAF

[Nobby the Bastard]

Yoshimura sticker

https://www.yoshimura-rd.com/prodcat/17024b-decal-yoshimura-fender.asp

And a big black wriggler at the top for when you, erm, feel the need to, erm, sit down and, erm, 'relax' (no links as it wouldn't be SFW , but you know exactly what I mean)
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trevor saxe-coburg-gotha:"Remember this simple rule - scooters are for men who like to feel the breeze on their huge, flapping cunt lips."
Triumph Sprint ST 1050

[MC]

That sucks

If you're going to need a walking stick, you need something else to disguise the need for the cane.

For example:
https://i454.photobucket.com/albums/qq266/Lotus100/Snoopwithcane.jpg
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Yamaha MT-03 '08 (crashed)
Honda XR-125L '04

[hellkat]

All hail the glorious Snoop to the D. to the O. to the G.
Definitely crazy about that coat

Bit of a bugger, this raspberry ripple lark *frowns*
What does Ralph think about it?

I remember vaguely some years back there was a picture/series of pictures maybe (bound to have been Ste's ) where they had a rather horny young couple Doing Things to each other in slings. They were really quite rude and I recall it being quite contentious, even for BCF.

... just wanted to let you know that you can still Do Sex, even when you are a crip
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[hellkat]

Or if that doesn't do it for you ...

https://www.canequest.com/imgs/cane80.jpg
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[RhynoCZ]

Get something, that contains liquor.

Link: https://www.irishwalkingsticks.com/flaskwalkingcanes.aspx

https://www.irishwalkingsticks.com/assets/images/7.jpg
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor

[Fisty]

https://asiabarong.com/abwp/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/PWS_lg.jpg
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Quietly and consistently taking the piss.
TL1000R | Hayabusa | ZXR400 | TL1000S | Bandit 400 V
Fatter and faster than Fret

[trevor saxe-coburg-gotha]

It'd be ace if you could get one that was like a light sabre.
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"Life is a sexually transmitted disease and the mortality rate is one hundred percent."

Mobylette Type 50 ---> Raleigh Grifter ---> Neval Minsk 125

[yen_powell]

Sword Stick. If challenged, "My hobby is litter collecting Officer."
https://images.denhams.com/589/589lot418.jpg
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XT1200Z and a DR350 in bits

[Ariel Badger]

[Rogerborg]

[MCW]

[Ariel Badger]

CF Walking cane This is the one I had and it was good but add some weight at the floor end, a 25mm long plug of MS turned to the internal diam epoxied inside will do the job.
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Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[swampy]

Make sure you get one of the right length too (Ooer missus).

Pro tip: Stand up straight with your arms held by your sides. The ideal length for your stick is the distance from your ulnar styloid (the bumpy bit on your wrist) to the floor. This allows for a bit of a wrist crook when you use it.

We use wooden sticks a lot at work, so we just turn these upside down, offer them up to the patient standing up, mark the stick level with the styloid, saw off the excess, fit a rubber ferrule (very important for safeties sake, you don't want ya stick to slip or skid along the ground) and Bobs ya mother brother...
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"Faster, faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death..." Hunter S Thompson

[Vracktal]

fit a motorcycle grip to the handle of a cane and make engine noises whenever you're walking anywhere. =P
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2007 BMW R1200R: On road
2009 BMW G650X Challenge: On road
1975 Norton Commando 850: Off road, awaiting recommissioning

[wr6133]

1000000 volt stun gun cane, with handy integrated torch. Nicely named the "Zap Cane".

No lady should be without one.

https://www.selfdefensesupply.com/zap-cane-stun-gun

[Iain.]

[Polarbear]

A better solution -

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a0/Trike.14.arp.jpg
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Victory Cross Country American tractor.