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Isles of Scilly Police Vacancy

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ScaredyCat
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Joined: 19 May 2012
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PostPosted: 10:14 - 02 Apr 2015    Post subject: Isles of Scilly Police Vacancy Reply with quote
Quote:
Unique Opportunity

There is a post currently available for a Police Constable on the Isles of Scilly. Quite possibly the most enviable policing post in the UK or even the world, after mine. It only comes around every few years. Amongst other things the successful candidate will possess the following attributes:

The ability to explain cheerfully in infinite different ways to holiday makers that “No you are not hallucinating I am a real Police Officer” and “Yes there are things for me to do here”.

The resolve to issue a parking ticket to your spouse so tactfully so as not find dinner in the dog thereafter.

At 2am whilst still wearing pyjamas under your uniform and wiping sleep from your eyes having been called out on duty from deep REM sleep, resolve a disagreement originating hours beforehand regarding the merits of sea salt verses rock salt between a couple of drunk chefs.

Un-flinching confidence to know what to do when you are alerted to an abandoned seal pup making its way up the main street.

An acceptance that at 6:15pm you will be handed an item of lost property whilst off duty in the Coop queuing for the till with both arms laden with a thawing tub of ice-cream and fish fingers hastily chosen so as to provide a meal for your children before they go to judo at 6:30.

Sounds idyllic?

If you have a moment during your day feel free to practice your brief one liner applications online here. Closing day is Friday. Who knows, this time next month you could be rescuing goldfish, investigating fried eggs, competing with Lifeboat crews to make pasties, guarding clogs for Dutchmen and taking your orders from a cat. Only followers of this site need apply as inevitably you will feature here anyway and your mum will want to know what you are up to. Good Luck.


Sgt Colin Taylor

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Tungtvann
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Joined: 07 Dec 2012
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PostPosted: 13:46 - 02 Apr 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote
There's no link.
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Rogerborg
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Joined: 26 Oct 2010
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PostPosted: 14:07 - 02 Apr 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote
It was probably found tied to a gull's leg, written with squid ink on a piece of seaweed.
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ScaredyCat
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Joined: 19 May 2012
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PostPosted: 14:13 - 02 Apr 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote
Tungtvann wrote:
There's no link.


It's from arsebookface...

https://www.facebook.com/IslesofScillyPolice

Before you apply, there's only 9 miles of paved road in total over the islands.

Can you get a Police GS ?
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Tungtvann
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PostPosted: 14:55 - 02 Apr 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote
It's real!?!! Shocked
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ScaredyCat
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PostPosted: 16:47 - 02 Apr 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote
Tungtvann wrote:
It's real!?!! Shocked


All of the things I post are real...




... or in my head
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BravoCharlie
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Joined: 06 Jun 2012
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PostPosted: 17:08 - 02 Apr 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote
i found their page a while ago and gave them a wee like. There should be a post somewhere about them closing a road for electrical works, that was one of my favourites.

their approach to policing is pretty cool though, the whole 'we'll give you amnesty if you bring your car for a check voluntarily' thing was a good incentive!
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kernow24
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Joined: 15 Jun 2011
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PostPosted: 08:30 - 03 Apr 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote
I once worked on the Isles of scilly, never again.

It's like living in the most awful little village where everybody knows everything you do.

Thank fook I had 3 full days off every 2 weeks, so I could escape back to the normality of the main land.

Horrible inbread little place.
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Tungtvann
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PostPosted: 13:11 - 03 Apr 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote
kernow24 wrote:
I once worked on the Isles of scilly, never again.

It's like living in the most awful little village where everybody knows everything you do.

Thank fook I had 3 full days off every 2 weeks, so I could escape back to the normality of the main land.

Horrible inbread little place.

What else is there to do apart from gossip and meddle?!
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Rogerborg
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Joined: 26 Oct 2010
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PostPosted: 13:20 - 03 Apr 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote
Tungtvann wrote:
What else is there to do apart from gossip and meddle?!

Satanic rituals and incest?
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Tracey Suntan-King
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Joined: 10 Nov 2012
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PostPosted: 17:02 - 03 Apr 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote
Rogerborg wrote:
Tungtvann wrote:
What else is there to do apart from gossip and meddle?!

Satanic rituals and incest?


To be fair the rates of both dropped once they got Sky. Oh, wait.......
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kernow24
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PostPosted: 18:47 - 03 Apr 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote
Tungtvann wrote:
kernow24 wrote:
I once worked on the Isles of scilly, never again.

It's like living in the most awful little village where everybody knows everything you do.

Thank fook I had 3 full days off every 2 weeks, so I could escape back to the normality of the main land.

Horrible inbread little place.

What else is there to do apart from gossip and meddle?!


quite a lot if you're in to outdoorsy types of things, I used to go sailing and kayak quite a bit, spend late evenings fishing, BBQs on the beach with some work mates and all that kind of stuff.

But the 'locals' were a bunch of tossers.

Its a nice place, but I couldn't live there permanently, looking from the outside it all looks friendly, like a little paradise with white sandy beaches, quaint little houses, a friendly community feel etc, but scratch the surface and get to know the place if you're there for more than a short holiday, and you see a rather unpleasant place.
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mentalboy
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Joined: 05 May 2012
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PostPosted: 18:58 - 03 Apr 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote
kernow24 wrote:


quite a lot if you're in to outdoorsy types of things, I used to go sailing and kayak quite a bit, spend late evenings fishing, BBQs on the beach with some work mates and all that kind of stuff.

But the 'locals' were a bunch of tossers.

Its a nice place, but I couldn't live there permanently, looking from the outside it all looks friendly, like a little paradise with white sandy beaches, quaint little houses, a friendly community feel etc, but scratch the surface and get to know the place if you're there for more than a short holiday, and you see a rather unpleasant place.


Sounds much like the rest of Cornwall Thinking Laughing
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cheeseman
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Joined: 11 Jun 2014
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PostPosted: 18:27 - 07 Apr 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote
BravoCharlie wrote:
i found their page a while ago and gave them a wee like. There should be a post somewhere about them closing a road for electrical works, that was one of my favourites.

their approach to policing is pretty cool though, the whole 'we'll give you amnesty if you bring your car for a check voluntarily' thing was a good incentive!


Quote:
By way of understatement there will be some moderate traffic disruption in town from this afternoon (Saturday) through to Sunday. Something electrical and essential needs mending under the road at about the Atlantic slipway. The road will be closed to all traffic in both directions. It will not be possible to go the whole length of Hugh Street. I'll cone off outside the wide bit at Lloyds bank so we can all enjoy different drivers interpretations of three point turns. The fun will start at about 1pm and the event will finish in the afternoon of Sunday. No booking needed.
If you can't get seats at the Atlantic there will also be a separate spectacle at Jerusalem Terrace where there will be a diversion in place. For the duration of the road closure this previously one way narrow winding road with no passing places will be made two way allowing access to and from the quay. Be mindful that larger vehicles may be using this route in both directions. This will be guaranteed to test the metal of the most reverse adverse drivers.
Please do not make unnecessary journeys in your cars into town as it will be a potentially frustrating process and there may be children present who can lip read.
P.S. Tony, I hope you don't mind that you are in the pic. Great to see you back here.
Colin

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The last post was made 11 years, 162 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful?
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