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Always dreamed of riding... now I have 'the fear' :(

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Madbadbikerth...
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PostPosted: 12:30 - 28 Jul 2015    Post subject: Always dreamed of riding... now I have 'the fear' :( Reply with quote

New member here, just looking for some confidence really.

Gearing up for my Mod 1 on Monday next week. Been doing well. Enjoying it, happy.... didn't mind going at speed at all!

Then yesterday, disaster.

Had a Panic Attack on the bike... my fellow learner biker accidentally went out on the duel carriageway, which meant we - myself and my tutor - had to follow. I was left alone while my tutor nipped off to collect the other biker.

At that moment I suddenly had this feeling of total vulnerability. I was alone, the high winds were knocking me about... I wasn't wearing kevlar on my legs (silly I know) and I just had this feeling of panic. What if I come off. My legs will be shredded. Then the fear set in, and it gripped me hard. I managed to make it into the lay-by where the others were waiting for me. I got off the bike shaking all over. It took all I had in me to get back on the bike and ride it up to the slip road to get off the main road. When we got off the road, I just crumbled and cried. I sound pathetic I know.

Anyway, it was a real struggle to get my head on, as the anxiety stayed with me after that. I had to literally fight my own mind-set to get back up to 50! When I got home I was exhausted and just throughly deflated.

The thing is, I have wanted to ride a motorcycle since I was a little girl, I grew up around bikers and on bikes. My husband is a rider. It was a dream, and now, well... it doesn't feel how I had expected it to feel. And now this has happened unexpectedly and I've lost the taste of it all of a sudden. I am terrified that if I get back on the bike, I am going to get that fear again... that panic.

I'm waiting for my kevlar to be delivered. It will arrive tomorrow. I'm sure thats going to help me feel more secure, but any help that someone can offer me would be appreciated. Is this common... does it go away???

I'm learning on a 600cc Yamaha XJ6.

Thank you Wink
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duhawkz
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PostPosted: 12:35 - 28 Jul 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tritey?
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MCN
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PostPosted: 12:36 - 28 Jul 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote

Experience leads to Confidence (can lead to).

Spend more time pootling around town to help you gain more control of the bike.
Control is a major part of gaining confidence but you know that. Smile

If you still can't get over the anxiety of being in traffic you might be able to do track or off-road for a while.
You can do a track day for about £100+. No cars/buses to deal with and all vehicles moving in the same direction make it safer.

(The above advice only applies if you are not Tritey. If you are Trytey then I beg you continue to lack confidence. Razz )


Last edited by MCN on 12:39 - 28 Jul 2015; edited 1 time in total
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barrkel
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PostPosted: 12:37 - 28 Jul 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote

Never really felt a huge amount of fear, especially if following the flow of traffic and not trying to do any manoeuvres. As your traffic awareness and bike control increases, the scope of what you can do goes up too.

Ironically, falling off the bike a few times removed some of the fear of accidents for me. I'm more worried about getting run over after I've fallen off, or hitting something hard while sliding along.

Only thing I'd say is: build confidence up from the bottom. Don't keep scaring yourself. Try to get confidence doing the basics, and build up from there. If you're constantly scared, you're doing too much too soon.
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Wonko The Sane
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PostPosted: 12:38 - 28 Jul 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote

you were put into a situation you weren't expecting wearing what, in your mind, is inappropriate gear which, along with weather wobbling the bike (grip with your knees, relax your arms and look where you want to end up) combined to panic you.

Relax, take a couple of trips out on a bike on roads you know, if you've not got a bike at the moment hop on pillion

We all have bad days, I had a slight slide on a submerged tram line this morning on the way into work and after a moment or two, or a ride or two you get your confidence back and you're fine.

Worth mentioning it to your instructor, should understand (you're not asking for an apology from him) and give you a bit more feedback on your riding to help you re-build confidence, might take you on a dual carriageway to help build confidence on that kind of road.
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MCN
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PostPosted: 12:42 - 28 Jul 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wonko The Sane wrote:
We all have bad days, I had a slight slide on a submerged tram line this morning on the way into work and after a moment or two, or a ride or two you get your confidence back and you're fine.


There is no confidence in one's under-crackers being re-usable after those sorts of Bottom Button tightening episodes.
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JoeDougieDoug...
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PostPosted: 12:42 - 28 Jul 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dual-carriageways are daunting places for learners so don't think you're alone on this one. Maybe you were a little out of your depth at the time but you'll be riding on main roads with confidence before long - it's all about experience. Thumbs Up

By the sounds of it you're doing pretty well anyway so keep it up!! Thumbs Up
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rubyhorse2
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PostPosted: 12:49 - 28 Jul 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nothing wrong with being wary just dont let it take over you. As long as you ride sensibly and are fully aware of your surroundings its highly unlikely you will have any issues.

riding in full gear will give you more confidence thats for sure.Try not to worry and just get as much practice as you can.
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 12:52 - 28 Jul 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote

Time to put your big girl panties on, luv.
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Carvel
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PostPosted: 12:55 - 28 Jul 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dual carriageways are probably the safest place to be.

Vulnerability stems from a lack of power.

Buy a Fireblade.
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waffles
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PostPosted: 12:55 - 28 Jul 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote

The important thing here is the answer to the question, 'do you want to ride?'.

If yes you need to explain to your instructor that you feel a lack of confidence after your unexpected trip down a dual carriageway. I'm sure he/she will be able to go over some pointers with you. The truth is that you are vulnerable on a bike however with time you will learn to read the road and be better at anticipating what other road users will do.

If no then perhaps be happier being a pillion?

I had a somewhat similar experience when I was learning to ride, I went out with the bf at the time and we were heading out around some local roads after I had done my CBT so had clearly visible L plates on. The sun went down, it got very dark very quickly and neither of us had particularly bright headlights so were struggling a little with the unlit roads. This woman in a BMW X5 wanted to overtake me and decided the best way to do this was to drive right up close behind me with her high beams on and blind me, then pass so close that she nearly clipped my elbow with her wing mirror.

It didn't help that the bf had a go at me and I left the bike alone for a few weeks after that. I sold it and bought something better (and with a brighter headlight!) and then got back in the saddle. You can either shy away from what makes you scared or face up to it. Only you can make that decision.

Good luck Thumbs Up
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Madbadbikerth...
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PostPosted: 13:03 - 28 Jul 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote

Deffo want to ride. Like I said, its been a dream of mine...

Anyway, cheers all you guys so far for all your advice. I don't think I was ready so I didn't feel too bad about losing it. More disappointed in myself and annoyed.

Hopefully I'll get back to feeling elated again... !

I'll know on Friday, last lesson before my test.

Been riding pillion for years. Never had an issue. I want my own two wheels.
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 13:06 - 28 Jul 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote

Feel free to come back when you've grown a pair of bollocks.
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Howling TerrorOutOfOffice
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PostPosted: 13:08 - 28 Jul 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi and welcome.
Woman-up.

You'll be allreet And don't take Hellkat's advice on the big panties.
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UrbanRacer
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PostPosted: 13:08 - 28 Jul 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote

Its tritey
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 13:09 - 28 Jul 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote

No shit sherlock Laughing
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Madbadbikerth...
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PostPosted: 13:09 - 28 Jul 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote

hellkat wrote:
Feel free to come back when you've grown a pair of bollocks.
Mr. Green Thumbs Up


Maybe one day they will be bigger than yours eh Thumbs Up
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waffles
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PostPosted: 13:09 - 28 Jul 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote

Madbadbikerlady wrote:
More disappointed in myself and annoyed.


Try not to be disappointed, take it as a learning experience and use it to improve your riding.

Oh, and man up, grow a pair etc etc!
Welcome to BCF
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Madbadbikerth...
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PostPosted: 13:11 - 28 Jul 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote

waffles wrote:
Madbadbikerlady wrote:
More disappointed in myself and annoyed.


Try not to be disappointed, take it as a learning experience and use it to improve your riding.

Oh, and man up, grow a pair etc etc!
Welcome to BCF


I'll be working on that! Cheers! Very Happy
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 13:11 - 28 Jul 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote

Madbadbikerlady wrote:

Maybe one day they will be bigger than yours eh Thumbs Up

Doubt it Wink
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Madbadbikerth...
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PostPosted: 13:18 - 28 Jul 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote

OK, I'm gonna bite. I might regret it... but wtf is Tritey...??
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MCN
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PostPosted: 13:25 - 28 Jul 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote

Madbadbikerlady wrote:
OK, I'm gonna bite. I might regret it... but wtf is Tritey...??


It's the current anxiety of BCF. Smile
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chris-red
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PostPosted: 13:26 - 28 Jul 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote

https://www.bikechatforums.com/download.php?id=95789

Which one are you?
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UrbanRacer
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PostPosted: 13:28 - 28 Jul 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote

chris-red wrote:
https://www.bikechatforums.com/download.php?id=95789

Which one are you?



oops, caught again. Laughing
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waffles
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PostPosted: 13:30 - 28 Jul 2015    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well I got suckered in!
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