First time out in a year, much homo.

[pits]

So I have been epically busy for the past year and a half, the Ducati ran out of MOT and the belts were due a year ago in March, so I put it away in the garage, for some unknown reason I then mot'd it in September last year, haven't ridden it since it sits in the garage covered in dust, full of cobwebs.

So as it was sunny yesterday and I took the day off I decided it was bike time, now I only had one option and it wasn't the most appealing, you see my brother did his ankle in a few years back and can no longer ride a sports bike, or commuter his ankle doesn't like it so he bought some sort of homosexual Yamaha cruiser I don't even know what is, but he insured me on it as it brought the price down.

So, I homo'd up and took that out, and I have to say one thing about those cruiser things, how the hell in all things holy do people find them comfortable and fun?

Throttle has 4 positions, full, whiney, fllubrruuuupoppopop and off, speaking of which you have to dislocate your wrists to wind full throttle on as that thing has more rotation than earth itself.

Brakes are terrible, it doesn't stop

The COG is so weird, it is unsure of what it wants to do, it doesn't tip into bends like a normal bike, no weighting of the pedals, but if you lean it over it feels like you're going to slide off the seat and onto the floor.

The front end is heavy when moving it around at slow speed and effectively tramlines, the amount of times I felt I was going to drop it.

Shaft drive is weird, I don't think I like it, yes the power is smooth on delivery but it just seems on or off, the chain isn't there to take up that slack, if that makes sense.


Back to the seating, seriously the pegs are in Devon, like doing yoga, but infinitely more ghey, the seat is wide and squidgy, I can only assume this is to represent another mans chest so you can never be to fair away from the thought of grinding on another man's supple chest, legs akimbo and cock pointed at his mouth, and you got off walking like John Wayne, as if you have actually been buggered

Handlebars, they are at a height and level (appears to be standard) of what I could only class as "jack off" height, I've watched porn I have a rough idea of what height cocks are at when being jacked off for a facial.


To top it all off, old men seem to love the bike, whilst I am having to tell them "it's not mine, I have just borrowed it, you're saying things to me I know nothing about, I don't even know what this bike is apart from ghey, no I don't want to touch your penis"



However I had forgotten ever so slightly how fun bikes were, the sun was hot, the wind was warm, the roads were clear and it did feel freeing.

Shame I can't see me getting the Duke out any time soon, actually think the MOT from last year has run out


TL'DR
I kinda miss biking, after being a homo on a homo bike, but I didn't like the homo bike at all, nor the part where I was brutally raped as a new recruit by some bum bandits on other homo bikes, turns out it happens
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Stinkwheel: You have no right to free speech
00:32:08 Blau Zedong: yes, i am a massive CB400 fan and collector
00:33:00 Blau Zedong: the CB400 is my favourite road bike

[grr666]

I've watched porn too.
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Currently enjoying products from Ford, Mazda and Yamaha
Ste wrote: Avatars are fine, it's signatures that need turning off.

[Rogerborg]

[chris-red]

It depends on the bike I guess, I rode a Rocket 3 and it felt pretty good at anything above walking speed. I was cornering through the lanes at 80+ and felt great, shaft drive and engine where fine too. If I had loadsa money I might get one from the lols, but not practical as a first or even second bike IMO.
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Well, you know what they say. If you want to save the world, you have to push a few old ladies down the stairs.
Skudd:- Perhaps she just thinks you are a window licker and is being nice just in case she becomes another Jill Dando.
WANTED:- Fujinon (Fuji) M42 (Screw on) lenses, let me know if you have anything.

[pits]

I used to ride all year round, just don't have the cash free for belts, tyres, suspension rebuild, service and a clutch, also need to put a new clutch in car as the newness has worn off it, so riding has not been high on my priority list. Otherwise I would take the Duke out and get it done.

I feel if I embrace it I will be basically embracing another man, in some sort of homoerotic Marc Almond kind of way whilst listening to Thompson Twins - Hold me now.
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Stinkwheel: You have no right to free speech
00:32:08 Blau Zedong: yes, i am a massive CB400 fan and collector
00:33:00 Blau Zedong: the CB400 is my favourite road bike

[Copycat73]

[Papa Lazarou]

Try to get out more.
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Current bike: Honda Blackbird 1100 and a little 250.

[WD Forte]

What's with all this homo shit?
Is there something you want to tell us?
Not a cruiser type myself not because I'm afraid of 'catching the ghey'
just not my sort of thing, neither are sports bikes and all the snobby shite that goes with it.

If you frequently ride a bike, any fucking bike,
( ie two wheels and an engine)
without whining you get points and I consider you a biker

If you don't ride a bike but boast about the shit locked in your garage and get all whiny and snobby when you do get a chance to ride,
you ain't no biker.

buy an Audi
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bikers smell of wee

[Timfy]

I love my Intruder.

Forward mounted controls (still nice and low) and drag bars make it pretty comfy for my lanky frame. The seat is pretty wide but comfy.

It does handle differently to a sports bike (no weight on the pegs and especially at low speed a lot more fannying about with steering inputs) but have no issues with corners, can hustle along at a pretty reasonable (obviously not mental) speed if needed, though pushing on too much sort of misses the point a bit- I can take it out for a couple of hours and not end up hooning it around everywhere like a nutter, which is what normally happened on my last bike (GSX-R750)

[monkeybiker]

Your brother kindly lets you ride his bike, all you can do is bitch about it.

[nowhere.elysium]

People are taking a post by pits seriously. Noobs
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'10 SV650SF, '83 GS650GT (it lives!), Questionable DIY dash project, 3D Printer project, Lasercutter project

[Rogerborg]

[Val]

[Marclev]

Didn't realise bikes had a a sexual orientation, is that an optional extra now?

[Blobber]

Pitts wrote

[Major Doss]

[FretGrinder]

Since you're not using the Ducati, I'll give you 5 ponds for it.

Just as long as you don't want me to touch your junk or anything even if you're now a raging homo or maybe even a bit bike-curious.
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Yamaha MT-09

ಠ_ಠ

[Michelle L]

I love chops bobbers cruisers , there cool
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Ride safe , if you can not ride safe , ride free....

[dannymassive]

[Vincent]

Going from a Ducati to a cruiser, you're bound to find it "weird". It's always a bit strange going from one type of bike to another but it's amazing what you can get used to.........if you want to that is, and variety is the spice of life Just think how cool your Ducati will feel to ride after riding your brothers cruiser
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Space Is Deep