Going Amsterdam next easter. Recommendations?

[Robster]

Off to a good friend's stag do over the easter weekend, he's intent on getting mangled on the strongest weed in all the land. I'm going a day early to 'acclimatize' I've smoked a few joints in my time but not habitually.

Never been before, always wanted to, where's good to go? i've heard fun things about the Banana Bar, Barney's Coffee Shop and so forth.

I'm staying on Hotel Van Gogh just to the west of the center. Is it easy to get around via tram or trains?

Any tips to stop getting the paranoia and throwing whiteys? I quite fancy trying brownies but heard mixed things on their effectiveness.

I'm also going with my older brother who hasn't touched a joint in his life, how do I stop him doing a little swim in the canal and/or getting sold into prostitution?
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[doggone]

Staying in the centre you can walk to most of it, it's not very big - similar to York.
It is kind of confusing as the canals are concentric circles which messes with your sense of direction which wants to make it like a grid.
There are a lot of aggressive beggars and people trying to sell you stuff in the street (best avoided).
After dark you will be propositioned left right and centre near 'that' part of town the locals call The Wall.

[MattEMulsion]

Keep away from the blue lights in the 'red light district'...
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[Marmalade]

You can buy a pass for the tram, like an Oyster card that you scan getting on or off but they last for a time limit, not a monetary one.
Minimum is a one hour ticket for 2€60.
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[M.C]

[J.M.]

Brownies give the same effect as smoking really, except that smoking is a much more sudden effect. Brownies take longer to kick in, so it's easy to either eat too little and not feel it, or eat too much and it's too late to do anything about it.

I'd fully recommend truffles. They taste horrible, but manageable with some chocolate or something. They take a while to kick in but I found the experience amazing. We were in a park on a sunny day, by the river, and just talking, smoking, and enjoying the effect of the truffles.

I have 7 almost identical pictures of this bird, because it was fascinating at the time, and having those completely changed my perception of the world for the time I was on them.

https://i.imgur.com/h0R4QV8.jpg

But state of mind and the people you're with will have a huge impact on it!
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[Ste]

The trams are free in Amsterdam, mainly because most of them don't have ticket inspector people.

The trains are equally free but more of them have ticket inspectors. Luckily, rather than inspecting your ticket, they let you know that you're heading in completely the wrong direction and explain to you which train you should change to at the next station.

Crossing the road is kind of funny, in a 'omfg I nearly died about eleventy times" type of way.

As to paranoia and throwing whiteys, pace yourself and have fun. Drinking orange juice will help if you overdo it.

Eating weed hits you slower and harder than when smoked. Eat some brownies before going into the airport on your way home.

Cops don't like you smoking weed on the streets.

With street drug dealer and beggars all you've got to do is completely ignore them. Don't say anything, don't turn your head, don't even glance at them, just keep walking and they'll go and hassle someone else.

Your brother who's never touched weed before will have an interesting time. Sounds like a BCF Amsterdam trip a few (10!?!?) years ago where we took lots of non smokers with us. First coffeeshop and within not very long someone says "I'm going outside, just to get some fresh air" and within not very long "just going to check he's okay" from someone else, etc etc etc.

The Red Light District is somewhere you've got to take Amsterdam newbies to. Big Black Momma alley is an interesting road / alley. Then there are the hookers who hit you with a whip as you walk past or the ones who chase you down the road. trolololololol

Don't take photos of the girls in the RLD.

If you want the best weed then you should stay away from the tourist traps. Coffeeshops I recommend (in no particular order):
Abraxas
Grey Area
Amnesia
Dolphins
Old Church
Home Grown Fantasy
Bush Doctor
Greenhouse
Dampkring
Barneys

If you're a weed connoisseur then prepare to have your mind blown by the quality of the bud available and by the knowledge of some of the dealers. Barneys, Greenhouse Effect, Abraxas and Grey Area are my favourites for having dealers that know their stuff.

Your brother who's never touched a spliff in his life might be tempted by the pre rolled spliffs on offer but I'd advise against that because he'll have no idea how much weed is in it. At least if you roll for him then you'll know if he's going to be totally fucked up or not.

This map is good for navigating your way around. Mark where your hotel is on the map for extra helpfulness. https://www.coffeeshop.freeuk.com/Map.html

Have fun.

[Robster]

Brilliant, thanks for the advice everyone, that is genuinely helpful. can't wait now
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Up the bum no babies.

[Ste]

Watch out for cyclists.

By law you're not allowed to smoke tobacco inside. When last there a couple of years ago I saw staff in various coffeeshops telling other tourists not to smoke spliffs with tobacco inside the coffeeshop but nothing was ever said to me. Make a bit of an effort to be discrete. So don't have a pouch of tobacco sitting out on the table and from the colour and smell of the smoke it's pretty obvious to the staff if you're smoking a cigarette that's got a small amount of weed in it or if you're smoking a spliff that might have a small amount of tobacco in it.

Don't take the piss and everything should be cool. Treat them right and they'll look after you. I had a tab running at Barneys last time I was there.

If there are any youngish looking people in your group then it'd be wise for them to keep their passport with them cos some coffeeshops will ask them for ID.

[chickenstrip]

Take a camera. I can recall fuck-all about my visit

Oh, no, scrub that. Don't take a camera, you'll probably forget you had one with you.
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[Robby]

My advice, as a person who has no interest in weed generally.

The coffee shops have a menu. Generally at the top of the menu are pre-rolled spliffs containing either weed or hash (I don't know the difference) in weak, medium, or strong. If you've never smoked weed before, you can happily smoke the weak pre-rolled joints and enjoy yourself.

My other bits of advice, also from personal experience, is to avoid buying a chunk of something from the bottom half of the menu and smoking too much of it, too fast. That was how I learnt that weed really isn't my drug, and vomit stains suede.

Enjoy the hookers.

[stinkwheel]

The answer is yes please you DO want mayo on your chips.
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[chickenstrip]

[Alpineandy]

Side note, I spend a while there staying with dutch friends. When we went out at night we'd get there 11.30-11.45pm time and the dutch always joked 'hey, if your English then you should be sitting in the street at 9pm smoked or drunk out of your mind'...
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[Tierbirdy]

Minor thread hijacking! But me and some mates are also heading over around the end of February, never been, never smoked weed before, dont know anything about drugs, fully intend on trying it because why not? When in Rome etc, you only get one shot at this whole "being alive" game so may as well make the most of it!

Trying to look up the rules/dos & donts, Im a bit confused- it seems its illegal for tourists to posses drugs, but you can buy it in "coffee shops", but the shops arent allowed to advertise they actually sell weed and youve got to ask for it or something like that? Is this right? What do you do? Or do you just take a seat and theres a menu with spliffs and hash brownies on it?

On the basis I dont smoke I dont really fancy trying to start smoking and projectile vomiting my first spliff all over a coffee shop, so probably leaning towards the edible variety more... any suggestions? Also I dont speak a word of Dutch, Im assuming that like most of Europe their English is pretty good, and theyre used to ignorant English tourists not speaking their language, how do I go about ensuring I dont end up ordering some weapons grade stuff, pulling a whitey and dying in a gutter somewhere or waking up naked in a police cell with a sore arse?

[andys675]

have a kebab, not the shit we have here, they cut the end off a pita bread and fill it with real meat off a joint on a spit, in fact have two

some cafe's that don't sell only allow smoking later in the evening after the tourists have gone

don't go wild, the 2nd night a lot of my mates have to go back to the hotel early to sleep off the first nights excesses
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[grr666]

Been a good dozen or so times and still always get lost when I am there.
Haven't been since the smoking ban so my info may be a little out of date.
For me the first stop at Barneys for breakfast and first bud of the visit, you also can buy some excellent gear
there to get you underway. The food is decent too.

Other coffee shops I really like are
Old Style.
Bluebird. (although they aggressively sell you coffee there, the music was right up my street)
Pink Floyds special marble cake is pretty pukka too, always get a slice to have before I fly home.


On the whole Dutch food is a bit gash and cheap. Any place where vending machines that sell burgers are
commonplace are going to struggle with providing fine foods if that's your thing.
Mashed yanks will get on your tits because world destination.
Learn to convincingly say 'Niet' - Russian for 'No'. Street dealers are often multilingual but few speak any useful Russian.
Or say you are a Muslim and are here to visit a Mosque.

Go at Christmas because it's deserted usually, I did a 10 day stay 14-24th December one year and it was
like I had the place to myself. Got through some dough though
It's a good shopping destination if you like odd, arty and quirky things. I've bought cool stuff there before
and posted it home to myself to avoid lugging it about.
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[J.M.]

[Ste]

They're allowed to sell you 5 grams per day and you're allowed to be carrying 5 grams.

In reality, neither limit actually matters. I've never had any trouble with them keeping track of how much I've purchased throughout the day or even how much I've purchased in one visit. If you want to buy more than 5 grams in one go then some dealers / coffee shops will be happy to help you out.

To get in trouble for having more than 5 grams in your possession, you'd first have to annoy a cop enough for them to search you so don't do that and everything will be cool.

The only rule that's not even slightly flexible is no under 18s.

Coffee shops are all identifiable by the green and white licensing sticker in their window which looks like this: https://i.imgur.com/4sdNY1S.jpg

I'd suggest much caution if you're thinking of buying odd, arty or quirky things to post home to yourself.

[Pie-Roe]

For breakfast/brunch I really enjoyed Lunchcafe Blom, which is central. The food mid priced but particularly tasty and generous portions.
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[M.C]

[Ribenapigeon]

I survived a week in Amsterdam as a very drunk very stoned 16 year old for a week thirty odd years ago when Amsterdam was genuinely a labyrinth of dodgyness and excess. Went back regularly over the following ten years and still no ill effects apart from getting strip searched by French customs on the way home. Returned about seven years ago and the place is about as challenging as Disneyland.

[Ribenapigeon]

[Ribenapigeon]

[mentalboy]

Forget the chips go for the Rollmops

If you like hordes of drunk asshole Brits then you'll love the RLD, I try to avoid the area.

Some of the canalside, non-dope selling, coffee shops are very pleasant paces to spend a lazy hour.
I think the boat trip I once took was supposed to be interesting but I don't remember anything more than going on a boat (in my defence it was after midday)!