Why bullshlt? Why? ...

[Ninja]

This follows a thread in another forum - a 'friend' of mine is a compulsive and habitual bullshltter. Having this guy at a party is entertainment enough for some people as he starts to brag and eventually digs himself into a huge hole ... anyway ...

Why do people have to bullshlt? Even when the person they're bullshltting knows the score and tries to reason out that what they're saying is shlte? Why do they have so much conviction that what they're spouting is true despite obvious and simple evidence to the contrary?

... I met the boyfriend of one of my wife's mates some years back. Turned out he was a biker and had a nice green ZXR750 sat in the drive. The two of us chatted about all things two-wheeled over tea and it turned out he was quite a handy bloke. The bike had obviously seen some action - it wasn't the tidiest thing and the guy claimed to work on it himself. It had a nice loud pipe on it and ... this is when the bullshlt started ... he claimed he had tuned it himself and it must be putting out something like 125bhp or so 'good for 180' - I was a little sceptical (just the way I am) but it didn't sound too unreasonable, especially if he was going to start telling me about headwork, race exhausts etc - yeah it might all add up to a good 20-30bhp on standard ... but no ... the extent of his modifications was the loud pipe and ... a carb-top swap from a ZX10 ...
Now I knew about this simple mod - it was for those ZX10 owners who wanted full power from their motors; the ZX10 carb-tops restrict full movement of the slides to 'cap' the power at 125bhp. The carb tops from the ZXR750 were identical except they didn't have the restrictions - so apparently a few ZX10 owners swapped theirs for those of the 750 - bingo, another 20bhp or so.
... and yet here was this bloke swearing to me that 1) This is what he had done to his bike (but in reverse!?) 2) He had done the work himself 3) He got the extra power ...

Why bullshlt? Why? Even when I pointed out that the 'swap' would only benefit the other way, and if he had in fact done the work, he must have restricted his bike?
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James
4 wheels transport the Body ... 2 wheels transport the SOUL

[Mr C]

ignorance mostly

most people just talk shite abiout bikes because they read it in a magazine somewhere

there is only one way to determine a bike's power and only one way to see how fast it will go

a dyno

a runway with timing lights

nothing else

I cry "bullshit" to anyone who claims either power or speed without trying these simple and easily available tests
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187.3bhp = 201mph

[Adam_P]

People do it because they need to feel they are impressing others around them. Maybe in desperation to be accepted and important.

As Mr C said, it's also because they've read it or seen it on TV and in that case, it must be true.

People read so much untrue crap in the popular papers every day that they probably feel the need to embelish certain bits of their lives, just to make themselves look more important, clever, witty, whatever... which in turn makes them feel better about themselves.


However, I'm a PR man, so I'm full of shit, so I might be talking complete bollocks!
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Colin McRae MBE 1968 - 2007 RIP
Orwell Rolls in his Grave
God is imaginary

[TheShaggyDA]

Ah, but it's bollocks that sounds reasonable, which is what PR is about
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Current: CB500 Previous: CB100N, CB250RS, XJ900F, GT550, GPZ750R/1000RX, AJS M16, R100RT, Enfield Bullet

[i:6e3bfc7581]But still I fear and still I dare not laugh at the madman...[/i:6e3bfc7581]

[jaffa]

I put a turbo on my Monster, did the work myself, I did 200mph down the M6, coppers couldn't catch me even with a helicopter.

I've taken it off now and unfortunately I didn't get any pictures of it when it was on, but it's true honest.

edit - actually it might have been 300mph
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jaffa - all juice and no pips

[Ninja]

that's the thing with this 'friend' - there is always the tiniest grain of truth to his bullshit - so no matter how big his story gets, you try and argue the toss and it'll come back to that grain - and you've nothing to argue ...

... or it'll be stuff that will be just outside the scope of normal people's general knowledge, so he gets away with it ...

eg - he bought a new (sports) car last year; it was the base model for a 3 variant range ... std; sports; turbo (nonUK) ... he would not stop quoting the turbo specs for his car - claiming to have outrun a TVR (despite giving away 75BHP and 250KG) to sixty ... taken a race with a 911 to the other side of 150 at which point he 'didn't' want to take it any more since it was still under 500 miles on the engine ... 'but it was still pulling hard' ...
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James
4 wheels transport the Body ... 2 wheels transport the SOUL

[Ninja]

(damn - I'm sure it was BCF I'd posted this stuff before but can't find it) - another eg from the bloke ...

when he found out I'd bought the 900R he was keen to show interest (a long time ago mx'er himself - might even have run a ZXR400 for a while too if memory serves) - and immediately the bullshit began ...

Him: "That's one of the early ones isn't it James? They were the 3-carb models weren't they?"
<me absolutely pissing myself but trying not to show it>
Me: "Em, no ... it's a four cyclinder motor mate - one for each pot, so four carbs - bikes have generally had one carb per cylinder for donkey's years mate"
Him: "Oh Yeah, I know that, but the early model of yours bike only had 3 didn't it - are you sure it's not just got 3? I reckon you/ll find it has y'know"
<me laughs out loud this time and calls him a TIT>
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James
4 wheels transport the Body ... 2 wheels transport the SOUL

[Annabella]

Point and laugh, that's what I tend to do.
Jimmy has a friend... another James... who we know, fondly, as Waream Bullsh1t Maestro. When it comes to bullsh1tting he deserves an award. So far, he's been an olympic swimmer (his dad built him an olympic sized swimming pool in their garden), his father works for MI5 (except when he's building swimming pools - then he's a builder), his Renault Clio will do 160mph () etc etc.

It's entertaining, I just don't trust anything he ever tries to tell me!
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Avast! Pirates ahoy!
I did Cadwell!
www.bikepics.com/members/bella

[BLOFLY 636]

yeah mate I know exactly what you are taliking about!!! My girlfriends Mum's boyfriend is EXACTLY LIKE THAT! for example here is a short list of many quotes that have remained in my head since I met him.

Harley Davidson's make 250cc machines
the fastest bike was a Harley Davidson which he had the pleasure of riding for a day it was one of 200 ever built and the speedo went all the way to 360 kilometers per hour
the heavier the bike is, the better it handles because a tyre has the best grip when it has more weight on it!
his 4 litre straight six cylinder naturally aspirated engine 1880kg 4 door sedan has a top speed of 250kmph. It was an ex-pursuit cop car and he had an OLD MATE who WAS a copper de-restrict it back to full speed. Funny thing is it has all the luxury items like power windows cruise control and automatic transmission which in all aussie history is impossible for a pursuit car to have an automatic transmission! I assure you that these dickheads must exist in small villages and infest the rest of the world after graduation from shitdribblers university
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Those bloody footpegs......they ought to do away with em!

[Ninja]

- this bloke's wife is almost as bad - me n the missus refer to them as 'Mr and Mrs Bullshit' (not nastily) - but MrsBullshit'll generally just embellish a story - the thing is she's taken hook line and sinker by the crap that her hubby spouts, and often recounts it to my wife at work (they work together) - I often get to hear of the stories which are often recounted to me with a 'qualification' before the telling ... sometimes my wife will try and catch me out - tell me something amazing and wait if I pick up on it's source ...
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James
4 wheels transport the Body ... 2 wheels transport the SOUL

[mr.z]

Blimeh, we had one like that at work...

"dangerous dave"

His dad was a millionaire, he had his own business and was loaded, only worked at a crappy office shop (5 days a week) as a tax dodge...
His nova would thrash farrari's or anything on the road, on mentioning me buying my second bike he used to race with bikes, on asking which, a yamaha ninja....

Once when demonstrating microsoft flight sim to customers, they commented on him being good at it, "yeh, because i used to be a fighter pilot" incidentally he has been flying helicopters since he was six. This unsuppriseingly freaked them out a bit.

He claimed to have got married to his imaginary girlfriend in a cathedral in rome on friday, which he didn't know the name of, he got there in his 180mph nova, it was saturday, on asking how exactly he got from italy to the uk from friday night to saturday 10am he went quiet...

Tats not even to mention the totally impossibly stupid computer related bs.

I found it to be fun to just go along with it, see just how much crap they will talk.

Funny enough after a reshuffle there was no job left for him... funny that eh. there really was something wrong with him, any time he felt uncomfortable or not being payed attention then would begin the torrent of shite.

Amusing but very very sad...
All of this is 100% genuine bs he spouted, truly legendary.
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>RidingSkills<->Tech Tips<->MyBikes<

[Ninja]

[mr.z]

They used to make scooters too!
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>RidingSkills<->Tech Tips<->MyBikes<

[Inspire]

IMHO, it strikes me that the bullsh1t quota seems to increase if people have too much beer in them.

[BLOFLY 636]

and another guy I work with has a 1996 YZF 1000 and loudly proclaims it has 138HP and that it is a YAMAHA R1. The funny thing is it blows smoke in the mornings after night shift but he revs it so hard and says it is just condensation I have never met a man with such ignorance to mechanics! heres how he starts the bike: after work he races out to his bike in the car park before anyone has a chance to climb into their cars. He then sits on his bike, turns the throttle wide open and thumbs the starter!. after a couple of seconds of turnover the bike explodes with a furious reving smoking attention grabbing wail! I am sure he does it for all the admiration from his fellow workers but heres the best bit, after sitting there warming it up for 10 minutes or until everyone to drive home, whichever comes first he will then commence his ghost ride home making sure to pass everyone on his journey, even if they are already speeding because his words are "if you have the power why not use it" and I said to him yep absolutely!, so are you coming to the drags on the 9th of february? he replies nah I don't want to, I am not really interested! OHH ok then so would that be the reason why you didn't want to come to the DYNO day either? or the trackday? poor bugger just shrugs it off and doesn't know I am pulling the piss out of him! instead of enjoying what you ride he has dug himself a hole of false announcements and can't risk losing to a 600 in any fun event! I guess some guys have bikes to hold their ego's up nice and high
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Those bloody footpegs......they ought to do away with em!

[Sparks!]

I don't believe anything whatsoever until I see it.. if someone tells me they can wheely for a mile, yeah right - prove it.. if someone tells me they can get both knees down easily, yeah right prove it.. if someone tells me they have a big sports bike that no ones seen - yeah right , prove it!

I try to adopt the same attitute in reverse, I try not to say that I can do stuff if I can't, as I expect others to not believe owt until I prove it..

Last summer when I used to go on rideouts etc, always get the odd nobber who says he can ride really fast, get knee down blah blah but really they are just dangerous and someone in particular makes me laugh at his constant 160mph claims and stuff then turns around and says the rideouts must be safe and go at slowest person speed and other bullshit like that
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Current Toys: 06 Yamaha WR250F | Nissan 350Z GT | Tech 4 Homes

[BLOFLY 636]

[Ninja]

they were rebadged things .. Aermacchi rings a bell but I'm note sure ... see that's the thing with the bullshitter - unless you actually know your stuff, they'll have you every time - becasue you're not going to go to the same levels of bullshit to fend it off ...

... actually , that could be fun! ... outbullshitting a bullshitter it'll be a new sport!
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James
4 wheels transport the Body ... 2 wheels transport the SOUL

[BLOFLY 636]

no dude don't do it! it's like trying to look at the sun!
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Those bloody footpegs......they ought to do away with em!

[Mr C]

err I also have a horrible feeling that the Motorcycle Land Speed record is also held by an HD
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187.3bhp = 201mph

[BLOFLY 636]

what is an HD? horny devil? hot dinner? hilly decent? yeah that must be it right? a hilly decent?
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Those bloody footpegs......they ought to do away with em!

[Mr C]

https://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/content_pages/record.asp?recordid=43614&Reg=1

there ya go

I know it Hardly qualifies as a motorcycle but that's the record


PS


Hardly FuckingMovingSon

(I'm no fan either but if you raise the bullshit flag you gotta be in possession of the facts)
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187.3bhp = 201mph

[BLOFLY 636]

[Visitor Q]

There is a huge fat ugly gormless twat who works at tesco with me, complete knob, everyone hates him.
Anyway hes only 17, does an it course for dummies at college (i see him about).

Yet according to him he makes 10 grand a month on his business, and it has 5million a year profits, spans an entire floor of a building, has 25 staff under him, his cleaner is paid more then your average tesco worker to clean out his waste paper basket once a day, has to fight the women off him when hes stumbling about collecting trollies.
Also he has the personality to match the look, yet reckons he has had lots of beautiful gf's who are like size 8's and hes had sex loads with them.
Oh and when he gets his licence hes 'gonna take a mill out and buy a ferrari'

Then you get into the details. He works at tesco, he smokes rollups, he needs liposuction badly, his clothes are scabby as hell. Yet he gets 10 grand a month....
That floor of the office i know is occupied by a diff company.
If you saw him youd know that women bothering him isnt a problem he endures that much.
Also either me or my mates knows one of these girls he reckons hes pulled or slept with. And they just point and laugh.
Oh and his description of how he has sex.... asides from its completely unplausible.

God hes such a knob, he thinks we like him aswell. I was in a pub the other day seeing a couple of mates bands. Bumped into a girl i fancied a while ago, started chatting her up (got a couple of free pints out of it too ). And then he come over, so the polite go fuck off and die was issued, so he went and moped with the 10 yr old glass collectors.

Sigh... bless em
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China traffic/travel bike vid - When I make a sweeping statement, please add the word 'statistically' in to the sentence before you bitch...
From September 2014 to January/February 2015 I will not be using any English, nor reading any. As such, I won't be on here. PM at will, but I won't be checking/posting unless in emergencies. Certainly not for the first couple of months. Please berate me savagely if I break that rule...

[Addicted To Speed]

People Bullshit 'cause it makes 'em look cool, until they are revealed.

Oh, btw, did I tell you about my 05 Hayabusa, 100 shot nitrous, Velocity stage 3 turbo, road legal 750bhp? I got in this police chase and this chopper was following me but I got to 300 in 10 seconds and lost it. Don't tell anyone.

True story.