Wooden Pistons ... a lesson in bullshit!

Ninja · Caption Abuser Joined: 22 Apr 2004 Karma :

Following the 'bullshit' thread, I thought this wee story deserved airspace of it's own:-

'a little knowledge' is a dangerous thing indeed ...

I used to severely take the piss out of a good friend who lived in Africa (Zimbabwe) until 'fairly' recently when things got too close for comfort - he used to regail me with all sorts of stories but the one that stuck, and the one I ripped the absolute shit out of him for months for, was the story about 'wooden pistons'.

It went something like this:-

He had a old wreck of a car that was 'his' - he was early teens at the time - some 1930's Morris engined thing. I'd seen the pictures - big old open car, running board style and so on. Now parts are hard to come by for this thing (in Britain never mind Southern Africa!) so he was used to having to use a lot of initiative to keep this old thing running ... and one day that included having to replace one of the pistons. So he tells me that he found a big enough block of wood for the job, stuck it on a lathe and turned out a piston. Machined the necessary holes for the gudgeon pin - and Bob's your uncle, he had a running motor again that saw another few thousand miles service ...

So you can imagine the level of the piss taking that went on after telling me/ us this - every time we went down the pub the conversation would inevitably lead back to the 'Wooden Pistons' story with us all falling about in mirth at our own 'wit' as we ragged this bloke something chronic - "they'd burn up within a mile you dipstick" or "they'd expand with soaking up the fuel vapour and jam in the bores" etc etc etc - months it went on "Wooden fuckin' Pistons" Laughing

egging him on - what did he do, use twigs for valves? Months and months it continued, solidly - the more we took the piss the more adamant he became until he eventually (understandably) started to get the hell in with us not believing his so obviously bullshit story ...

That was until I heard a similar story from another source. I had recounted the 'Wooden Piston' story to my old fella with glee when he stopped me in my tracks when he told me he'd seen similar things done with generator engines. I was gobsmacked - here was my dad obviously gone a bit potty - I mean wooden pistons for crying out loud ... WOODen pistons! Pistons made of wood? Surely he was having a laugh with me? But apparently not:-

Using a suitably dense hardwood, the piston would be able to do a fairly sterling job of what was required of it. Especially when you considered that the generator engines (and that old Morris engine) would have ridiculously low compression ratios and coupling that with the fact that they were low revving and run on fairly low grade fuel meant that the overall burn characteristics - flame front/ crown temperature and so on were all within the boundaries of being able to use a dense hardwood for pistons, in the short term ...

Who'd have guessed? What sounded so obviously like bullshit, major bullshit at that, was actually true and verifiable from other sources!

This is the problem I have with real bullshitters - what is the underlying basis for the ridiculous story they're telling? Could it actually be true? but ... Laughing

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Wave2k · G's Stalker Joined: 06 Apr 2004 Karma :

My RS125 DOES GO 200MPH FFS
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cc123 · Geez a joab? Joined: 17 Jan 2005 Karma :

Yes, but how many people would have taken that story in and believed it???

I 'wood' have ripped the piss myself..... Laughing

I know a bullshitter, big time at it and sometimes he tells me something which just happens to be true, not often but sometimes he catches me out!
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stinkwheel · Bovine Proctologist Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :

I have heard of this practice before, there are quite a few old Brit bikes in Africa (vincents are apparently popular) running wooden pistons.

A mate of mine has seen old Holden cars in Australia being driven by aboriginals who had made new prop shafts out of wooden poles. He had heard of wooden pistons being made too. They apparently have 'ancestor songs' which allow them to remember how to repair these kind of things without writing anything down.
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Ninja · Caption Abuser Joined: 22 Apr 2004 Karma :

'ancestor songs' to cover an engine rebuild - NO, fuck off ... that's got to be bullshit ... Laughing

____________________
James
4 wheels transport the Body ... 2 wheels transport the SOUL

Scotsman37 · World Chat Champion Joined: 17 Aug 2004 Karma :

Ok, here's the link to the Fire Piston made of natural materials and is similar in principal to how the modern day deisel engine works! The build up of pressure within the cylinder eventually ignites the combustible material.

https://www.bushcraftuk.co.uk/articles/fire_piston_jeffwagner.html

catgate · Two Stroke Sniffer Joined: 08 Dec 2004 Karma :

I actually saw a tractor (an old pre-war Fordson Standard running on paraffin) being fitted with a wooden piston, up at the top of Ribblesdale, during the late 40s, when farmers could not get spares and dales sheep farmers had little money. The farmer, on whose land we used to go camping regularly, had spun up a block of oak in an old lathe and after making suitable holes for the con rod an pin, had "nailed on" a covering of lead flashing and smoothed down the edges with a file. I know it ran for a few years because I drove it a few haytimes.
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pipnet11 · Brolly Dolly Joined: 17 Sep 2004 Karma :

didnt believe it untill i saw it. Old generator engine of some sort, and I watched him put the piston in and start it. Had to or i would have never believed him.
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Robby · Dirty Old Man Joined: 16 May 2002 Karma :

Yup, was mentioned in a copy of mechanics a few months back I think, someone running an old brit single with a wooden piston.

My grandad once made up a wooden driveshaft for connecting his tractor to the plough. Did years of service, taken easy on an old low power tractor.