Farmyard Rally Helmsley

[Diggs]

A mate of mine has suggested we go to said event in June. I haven't been to a bike rally for decades so don't know what to expect. Anybody here got recent experience of this rally? Looking at Youtube, I see mainly overweight blokes in leather waistcoats and hats like Phil Harding from Timeteam, dodgy burger vans and 80s metal covers bands.

My question is, am I likely to be covered in chicken blood, dragged round a field by my ankles by a Harley and stabbed/bummed, or sold breakdown cover and a subscription to Yorkshire Life?
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Now - Speed Triple, old ratty GS550, GSXR750M
Gone (in order of ownership) - Raleigh Runabout, AP50, KH125, GP125, KH250, CBX550, Z400, CB750FII, 250LC, GS550, ZXR750H1, Guzzi Targa, GSX750F, KH250 x2, Bimota SB6R and counting...

[trevor saxe-coburg-gotha]

Yes
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"Life is a sexually transmitted disease and the mortality rate is one hundred percent."

Mobylette Type 50 ---> Raleigh Grifter ---> Neval Minsk 125

[Polarbear]

As opposed to a BCF rally where you will be blown up, shot, run over by a JCB, disappear into the bog of eternal stench never to return, die on a pit bike, see the demise of the kitten population due to Paddy's wheelies. Oh, and get exceedingly well smashed. (and the was just the one I went to)

Oh, and I shall be the overweight bloke there wearing a Phil Harding hat.

I'm sure you will enjoy it loads.
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Triumph Trophy Launch Edition

[Rogerborg]

[CaNsA]

Me and a few mates went to the farmyard rally a few times many years ago.

One guy was found laying on the ground behind his tent at 4am with his jeans round his ankles and a puddle of runny shit escaping from his arse.

Another of the lads was hog tied and dragged around the site by my cbr600.

Another was held to the ground infront of the fire, watch a brand get heated up while his arse cheeks were exposed.
I swapped out the red hot brand for one that had been sat in ice and "branded" his arse cheek.
That was particularly fun.

Another had a "decorated" hi-vis vest cable tied to him within minutes of us arriving.
He wore it for 2 days, along with all his bike gear that he never had a chance to take off.
I'm surprised he never died from heat stroke of something.

Good times.

[trevor saxe-coburg-gotha]

[CaNsA]

[The Shaggy D.A.]

I went to the Farmyard Rally regularly, when it was held at Cat Babbleton Farm. I preferred staying down the dale to being up top with the beer tent and bands.

[Diggs]

Thanks for the informative replies. Despite all that we have booked tickets, and look forward to a jolly old time!
____________________
Now - Speed Triple, old ratty GS550, GSXR750M
Gone (in order of ownership) - Raleigh Runabout, AP50, KH125, GP125, KH250, CBX550, Z400, CB750FII, 250LC, GS550, ZXR750H1, Guzzi Targa, GSX750F, KH250 x2, Bimota SB6R and counting...

[dodsi]

From Helmsley to Stokesley certainly was one of the best biking roads I had ever been on. You will have fun one way or another.

[Diggs]

I can imagine the Helmsley TT being very heavily policed over that weekend, so fun will be wholly within speed limits unless folk are willing to play Russian roulette with the 5-O....
____________________
Now - Speed Triple, old ratty GS550, GSXR750M
Gone (in order of ownership) - Raleigh Runabout, AP50, KH125, GP125, KH250, CBX550, Z400, CB750FII, 250LC, GS550, ZXR750H1, Guzzi Targa, GSX750F, KH250 x2, Bimota SB6R and counting...

[Copycat73]

[Moxey]

Shit like this happens really, some of the younger lads from our area there

The weekend will consist of shite cover bands because Yorkshire mag won't spend £ on decent acts, meh food (£7 a pizza, £6.00 for a burrito), a clapped out old stripper straddling a sons of anarchy wannabe birthday boy and a lot of gsxrs revving their tits off at 4am (not my lot I swear! )

They have the dance tent back this year for the Friday night only (main reason I'm going really after much pestering from mates), it's a OK rally but it's crap value (£40 otg) compared to some smaller do's which really pull out all the stops (IMO).
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Current: 02 FZS 1000 & 91 Royal Enfield Bullet 350 Some Bike Pics...
'I was too busy paying attention to pay attention'

[Diggs]

Better get practicing with the face-paint and perfect my nude riding skills then... Its been a while.
____________________
Now - Speed Triple, old ratty GS550, GSXR750M
Gone (in order of ownership) - Raleigh Runabout, AP50, KH125, GP125, KH250, CBX550, Z400, CB750FII, 250LC, GS550, ZXR750H1, Guzzi Targa, GSX750F, KH250 x2, Bimota SB6R and counting...

[Sload]

Went last year was alright, going again
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Honda Varadero >> Triumph Speed Four >> Honda CBR1100xx

[dodsi]

[Diggs]

We do a W.Yorks-Helmsley-Scarborough run some Sundays. We set of at 06.30 from Mirfield and usually don't see the plod until the way back. Saying that, my last pull was at the top of Sutton Bank at about 8 o'clock in the morning...
____________________
Now - Speed Triple, old ratty GS550, GSXR750M
Gone (in order of ownership) - Raleigh Runabout, AP50, KH125, GP125, KH250, CBX550, Z400, CB750FII, 250LC, GS550, ZXR750H1, Guzzi Targa, GSX750F, KH250 x2, Bimota SB6R and counting...

[The Shaggy D.A.]

[t121anf]

[Diggs]

Its the bast*rds you don't see...
____________________
Now - Speed Triple, old ratty GS550, GSXR750M
Gone (in order of ownership) - Raleigh Runabout, AP50, KH125, GP125, KH250, CBX550, Z400, CB750FII, 250LC, GS550, ZXR750H1, Guzzi Targa, GSX750F, KH250 x2, Bimota SB6R and counting...

[doggone]

[Copycat73]

[Moxey]

[bassmastergen...]

I went a couple or three years ago. By far the most interesting thing I saw was a youth on a fucked C90 towing a selection of domestic items (including an ironing board) up and down a field.

It was shit.

[Sload]

I think this thread aptly shows it is what you make it. If you dont mind seeing a bit of stupidity, enjoy a bit of camping and have a good group that entertain you then you should enjoy it.

If you are a miserable old miserly git like some here then probably not
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Honda Varadero >> Triumph Speed Four >> Honda CBR1100xx