"Sucked in like a wet noodle!"

[Poseidon]

I love americans (genuinely, I have several friends of the yankee persuasion) and I'm constantly in awe of their ability to come up with a decent soundbite.

Here is a story about a scuba diver who got too close to a cooling water intake for a nuclear plant. 1/4 mile through a pipe and he emerged in the cooling water reservoir unharmed. Impressive story made hilarious by his mate's account of it!

https://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/scuba-diver-survives-sucked-nuclear-plant-article-1.2553804
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1977 Honda CG125
2002 Ducati Monster S4 (currently restoring)

[Wonko The Sane]

best soundbite I've heard is an RAF Vulcan / Victor pilot describing air to air refuelling in these large beasts as "like trying to thread wet spaghetti up a cat's arse"

I've been trying to find an opportunity to quote the phrase for a few years with little success
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Looking to pass your CBT / Bike tests in Bury Lancashire? try www.focusridertraining.co.uk Would recommend.
They're also on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/pages/Focus-Rider-Training/196832923734251

[Howling TerrorOutOfOffice]

[mentalboy]

[Going]

Now we're going to have to go through security just for a swim.

[yen_powell]

I used to work with a distant relative of the Queen Mum, he was soooo posh and camp, working as a horticulturist.

When a rough/tough Glaswegian woman asked him why her plant wouldn't grow properly he had a rummage round in the pot and said in his best cut glass accent, "The problem Sandra my dear is your soil.....it's as dry as a nun's c*nt".
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Blackmail is a nasty word........but not as nasty as phlegm!
XT1200Z and a DR350 in bits

[The Shaggy D.A.]

My sister's other half's mother is 85. We went out for xmas dinner at a posh hotel and whilst exchanging small gifts, she was given a small hand made vase. She put her finger in the neck, and exclaimed loudly (in a Geordie accent) "Heheee! Smooth as a whore's twat!"

I use this expression now whenever possible.
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Chances are quite high you are not in my Monkeysphere, and I don't care about you. Don't take it personally.
Currently : Royal Enfield 350 Meteor
Previously : CB100N > CB250RS > XJ900F > GT550 > GPZ750R/1000RX > AJS M16 > R100RT > Bullet 500 > CB500 > LS650P > Bullet Electra X & YBR125 > Bullet 350 "Superstar" & YBR125 Custom > Royal Enfield Classic 500 Despatch Limited Edition (28 of 200) & CB Two-Fifty Nighthawk > ER5

[Annabella]

At the local brewery a very well educated, sensible, never swears lawyer friend tried some of our mate's cider (which our mate wasn't enjoying because she thought she had bought a pint of beer)... as soon as it hit sensible lawyer's throat she spat it and venomously declared "Flat as a witch's tit!"

Apparently it's one of her Nanna's phrases. Having already downed a few pints of Mud City I laughed until I cried.
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Avast! Pirates ahoy!
I did Cadwell!
www.bikepics.com/members/bella

[Jayy]

Thick as a submarine door that cunt, "OOOoo look, a giant building in the sea near a power plant".

However, imagine being sucked in to that tunnel in total darkness... the noise, the sense, thinking there's a massive turbine sucking it all in and you're going to be obliterated by it... heavy salad!

[angryjonny]

The last nuke I worked on, kite surfers used to intentionally hang around next to it because they liked the warmth from the outlet pipes.

As for divers, well it's probably the only opportunity they get to see three-eyed fish.

[c_dug]

Out of interest, how does it suck without physically passing the water through a turbine?
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I am a bellend, I am a man of constant sorrow, I am a gummy bear, I am a rock.

[Wafer_Thin_Ham]

[c_dug]

I thought somebody in the video mentioned hearing pumps start up though?
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I am a bellend, I am a man of constant sorrow, I am a gummy bear, I am a rock.

[Poseidon]

[Mr Nice Guy]

Heard one today that had me genuinely giggling, after an officer I work with had interviewed a soldier over a matter "thick as a gurkhas foreskin"
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Suzuki GSX-R750K4 ~ Mivv GP

[.....]

[Diggs]

My favourites are 'as dry as a dead dingo's donger' and 'sweating like a fat lass at a disco'...
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Now - Speed Triple, old ratty GS550, GSXR750M
Gone (in order of ownership) - Raleigh Runabout, AP50, KH125, GP125, KH250, CBX550, Z400, CB750FII, 250LC, GS550, ZXR750H1, Guzzi Targa, GSX750F, KH250 x2, Bimota SB6R and counting...

[MCN]

[mentalboy]

[smegballs]

Don't mess with delta-P!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEtbFm_CjE0

He's probs lucky in some ways that the pipe wasn't screened so he could pass through it, if the inlet was gridded he might have being sucked onto it and held there by the delta-P until he ran out of air. Actually going thru the pipe seems like the better option in this case!

[MCN]

[yen_powell]

A common phrase when expressing displeasure at a slabbed footway laid by a bad mason is, 'Up and down like a whore's drawers!'
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Blackmail is a nasty word........but not as nasty as phlegm!
XT1200Z and a DR350 in bits

[Lord Percy]

Saw a 'facebook memories' thing a few days ago where I'd joked about hearing a yank saying, "It was goin' off like freight train!"

I have no idea what was going off, but it must have gone off... like a freight train!

[andyscooter]

[Going]