Question for those with partners that ride.

[Saraya]

Did my CBT 3 months ago and my mileage thingy is now on about 400 miles. (Mostly 6am Saturday rides.) If hubby is not riding with me, he follows in the car. I’ve never been out by myself. At first it was really reassuring and gave me confidence, but now I’m starting to wonder if I’m a crap rider. He always gives me a report on my riding and hasn’t said anything too terrible.

I don’t want to offend him by asking him to stay home. But at the same time I’m worried I’m developing bad habits. I over took a posse of cyclists the other day. I didn’t have to cross to the other side of the road, but it wasn’t until after I’d passed them, that I realised I hadn’t done any observations before manoeuvring. It was my own fault and nothing to do with hubby. But I’m worried I’m relaxing too much, knowing he’s always at my rear. (Oo er.)

Not sure if I should request a solo ride. Or accept the fact I’m a bit dodgy on a bike and he’ll stay home when he considers me safe. I don’t have any real objections to him always being there – I’m just starting to get a bit paranoid.

Or is this just a general biking partners thing and I shouldn’t take it as riding technique criticism? What did you do when your loved one first got on 2 wheels?

[Wonko The Sane]

if he's in the car, loose him in traffic!


on a serious note, it could just be misplaced concern for your safety - I know my wife is more concerned with who else may be on the road than my riding, it's worth having a chat to find out what his worries are, perhaps arranging to go somewhere and meet him there taking different routes?

He may need to ease out of being with you to letting you ride solo

any worries about your riding standard should be easily addressed by further training and doing your full tests?
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[waffles]

Just go out without him, you need to start feeling comfortable and confident otherwise you won't ever enjoy it. Following you in the car is just weird tbh.
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Theory test - 19/8/09, CBT - 11/10/09, MOD 1 - 16/8/10, MOD 2 - 27/10/10
Past rides Yamaha XT125X, Triumph TT600, Honda XR250
Current rides Suzuki GSXR 600, Honda MSX125

[trevor saxe-coburg-gotha]

Out of interest, why ever would he choose to follow you in the car?!? That just strikes me as extremely bizarre. Surely he'd be on his bike, enjoying the chance to get out and have a ride. Is he a bit insane in the membrane insane in the brain?? What in the name of all that is holy GIVES??
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Mobylette Type 50 ---> Raleigh Grifter ---> Neval Minsk 125

[Rogerborg]

[Pete.]

Whether he is there or not doesn't really affect your ride because it's pretty certain that there's NOTHING he could do to stop you having any particular accident apart from somehow managing to pre-empt - and then prevent - some loon from smashing your rear end in.

You don't need him, apart from that it might be comforting (for him and for you) having him on your tail, it's doing next to nothing for your road safety.
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a.k.a 'Geri'

132.9mph off and walked away. Gear is good, gear is good, gear is very very good

[thx1138]

sounds to me more like a relationship advice question, rather than a motorcycling advice question

but you could stick a nail in his tyre

[Howling TerrorOutOfOffice]

Blow him off.
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[Commuter_Tim]

[Teflon-Mike]

It's time for another proper lesson, I'd say....
ISTR you mentioning Hubby & Son both riding, and I think it was also tiddlers; do either have a full bike licence?
Either way, its hard to teach a loved one, and hard to be taught by one.... because of the emotional attachment.
An instructor is impartial, which gives a detachment, and you should have some added confidence they are teaching you the right stuff, and their qualified second opinion of your riding ought to have some more merit.

I sent Snowie to school for her road training, for that reason... it's the "Does my Bum look Big in this" dilemah! You just CAN'T ask your fella that! If we say 'Yes' we're wrong... if we say 'No'... we're wrong.... if we say, "You look fabulous, as always" We're wrong.... and you STILL wont be sure whether your bum looks enormous! So just DON'T ASK! Oh-Kay? !

Anyhow; Snowie had wanted me to go on rides with her, but... she didn't want to feel intimidated by me riding my 750... as it happened though, I'd got a couple of tiddler's as 'Projects'.. on the notion they were pocket-money fun, and I paid less for either of them than I would for a new pair of tyres for the 750... and one of them was the exact same make, model & year of 125 Super-Dream as Snowie had done as her 'project-bike'... actually....

https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/312353_263669490324642_3745420_n.jpg?oh=c79e6a1c5faf2caadd44cec7007efdbc&oe=57EE94CD

There you go, 'His & Her's' 125's! Mine was the red-one! Soppy, hugh? Taken in ASDA car-park, to do some Mod-1 practice after a road-ride....But... does my bum look big in this..... ultimately did little to build her confidence, never going it alone; so in the end, I took to setting her little 'paper-chase-challenges', to get her out on her own, and somewhere to go and a reason to go there, 'just for fun'...

DID result in a couple of humorous phone calls.....
>"I'm lost.... can you come and get me?"
< "OK... where are you?"
> "If I knew THAT, I wouldn't be LOST!, Would I!!?"


But.. at some point you are going to have to go it alone.... you have recognised you are beginning to get a bit blase, and maybe have acquired some bad habits, and the rolling road-block has done all he can to get you past first ride nerves....

So... time to put a check on that over-confidence and bad habbits, get a lesson.. & second opinion on your standard, then, get out there, on your own.
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[Saraya]

[wr6133]

Sounds like a stalkery control freak. Kick him in the balls and ride off in to the sunset.

[bamt]

Yep, just go and do it. And get a tank bag for the dog.

I followed Mrs Bamt around for the first few rides after she got her CBT, protecting her rear in case of stalls or panics etc. We fairly quickly progressed to her following me (she prefers to not have to think too much about the navigation) and then me riding part way to work with her before the routes diverged and she'd turn off.

The first ride on your own is something special to savour, but better to get it done now before it becomes an even bigger issue.

[Baffler186]

you need to ride alone. Having the "backup" of someone in a car watching you is not what solo riding is about.

Go through your CBT in your head and remember what you were taught about observations, road positioning, that sort of thing. If you can't remember then watch some YouTube videos.

Then ride a route that you know well, concentrate on doing all the lifesavers and observations in the right place, and at the right time. Imagine you are on a test. I do this every so often just to reset my bad habit-o-mometer.

Lots of things will come naturally with practice, but in the case of overtaking the cyclists you need to get it right.
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Current: 2009 SV650 S, 1990 Kawasaki GT550
Previous: 2009 CBF125, 1998 GSF600, 2004 FZ6 Fazer, 1978 CB400a Hondamatic

[Snowdonia Rider]

If he's up your rear all the time tell him you need time alone to masterbasics. You're aware of your mistakes so that's definately the right start. Maybe start solo up and down the street or around the block.
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[Polarbear]

He's hardly any more experienced than you, so tell him to bog off if he criticises your riding.
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[NJD]

[Shinigami]

sounds a bit weird this

the womanface wanted me out with her on her first few but was then fine to go on her own after that, she's only fallen off once...stationary at traffic lights...because of a spider.. her bike now gets a full spider check each ride
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[Teflon-Mike]

[rubyhorse2]

i think its time you started going out on your own. Its great he's concerned about your safety and has tried to give you more confidence, but you wont progress if you dont start going on your own.

i bet after your first solo ride you will be 100% more confident than any previous rides with your other half behind you.

also, overtaking cyclists, you shouldnt be needing to do a lifesaver as such if staying on your side, as you should be just riding down the road and move slightly more central to pass them. This possibly makes me think your riding slightly towards the pavement? if so, try not to do this, you pay your taxes and have as much right to be on the road as anyone.

[Saraya]

[stinkwheel]

I wil say I went out with Mrs stinkwheel the first few times after her CBT to stop arseholes tailgating her and trying to squeeze past just because she was on a 125 on L-plates. Just until she was a bit more confident and I was happy she was riding defensively and claiming her bit of the road rather than riding in the gutter.
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[Teflon-Mike]

[Saraya]

Poor Teffers!

I live on a riverbank and there’s a woody bit and fields less than a 5 min walk away. Autumn is now near, which brings the trauma of those fine, invisible string, ninja webs.
All the early morning dog walkers look like we’ve developed some strange form of Tourette’s, as we splutter and do the silly hand flap as the buggers suddenly attack our faces.

[Evil Hans]

Christ. My missus hates it when I follow her.

It's not even like he's a bloody expert himself. Just man (I mean woman) up, hit the road and enjoy yourself.

And have the dog put down. Sounds like a royal pain in the arse.
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