Putting on weight, teach me.

[Fin]

I struggle to put on weight, it's not something that's short term either, I've been trying for months.

I weigh my self almost every day and try to eat as much as I can, I look at the RAG health status on foods and If it's got 1 serving is in red for fats, I'll eat all fucking 30 and then have whatever else I can have. I deliberately look for foods high in fat or sugars and then eat way more than the recommended portion. Whenever I feel like spending money on a drink I'll buy fruit juice and drink the carton which again is a lot of sugars which should turn to fats.

I eat when I'm not hungry just for the sake of getting bigger, for example I was about to go to bed last night when I decided I should eat some food to put on weight.
https://i.imgur.com/sW0KFJj.png
There you can see I put chocolate spread on which has some red on the label, some jam which is high in sugars and olive spread. I also have a protein shake too so the carbs aren't so empty.

Either way I eat when I can but I don't put any weight on, I'm not active in the day either, I sit in a chair all day on a computer, I should have a slow metabolism as some days I won't eat breakfast or lunch (which should put your body into survival mode where it immediately stores foods into fats rather than burning them).

I don't do any exercise apart from a few pressups every now and then when I have lots of energy and am really pumped.

[Fisty]

Eat more pies.
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Quietly and consistently taking the piss.
TL1000R | Hayabusa | ZXR400 | TL1000S | Bandit 400 V
Fatter and faster than Fret

[Fin]

[bugeye_bob]

only thing you are doing is clogging up your arteries there.

[Ste]

Focus on the neglected food groups.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rnpy3cC673o

That sandwich thing looks terrible, there's nothing in it. You could at least fry each piece of bread, cover them in melted cheese and make it into a sandwich by adding bacon and or sausages. Maybe a fried egg or two.

Stop looking at RAG health status whatever they might be, just focus your eating time on the incredibly unhealthy things. Stuff that without reading some health status info, you know might give a heart attack.

[Ste]

[RhynoCZ]

I'd go and ask the GP. As Bob says, stuffing yourself with junk food doesn't necessarily have to lead to weight gain. And yes, there is a thing called ''being fat inside'' and that is a very dangerous condition.

But, when I was younger, I used to be a regular beer drinker. The moment I got my motorcycle licence and stopped drinking beer, I lost 15kg in a couple of months. So I'd say you should try to start drink beer and eat stuff with barley and wheat. That might be the healthier alternative to junk food.
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor

[Fin]

High calories should mean more weight/fat. I don't want to drink beer or alcohol as I'll get a beer belly.

[Rogerborg]

[RhynoCZ]

[M.C]

Try one of those muscle gain supplements and don't do any exercise. Most people I know who take them don't do enough training and get really fat

[ScaredyCat]

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/188253/_bcf/mowa/PizzaPie.jpg
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Honda CBF125 ➝ NC700X
Honda CBF125 ↳ Speed Triple

[Chinaboy]

Shit less often

[Pigeon]

How old are you fin?

At 15 I would eat 1kg cadbudy chocolate in a day. I don't think they even make that size bar anymore.

I would eat a large pack of maryland cookies while doing my paper round.

A slice of Apricot swiss roll, no sir, I'm having the whole damn thing.

Down the pub and 10 pints of Carlsberg, or if we'd been playing pool early doors then 16 pints.

I was 6ft 2 by 19 and weighed 12st.


That worked up until the age of 24. Now I only have to think about a twix to bulk up fat.


Most actors that bulk up for boxing rolls don't over complicate it. They eat junk food.


Nuts are a good source of fats and calories. Fatty fish, like Salmon and Mackerel are good too.

[Commuter_Tim]

[Hong Kong Phooey]

Protein + specific exercise / weight training will build muscle, which is heavy - but watch out for Purple Aki.

Exercise will also improve your health.

Or as above, get older and booze more.
Genetics, diet and now apparently gut bacteria are playing their part here.
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'81 CG125, '97 FZS600 : '99 CBR600F4, '09 KTM RC8

[MCN]

Stop taking the pill and get more of your boyfriend's sausage up ye.

That should give you a weight gain.

Edit: See your GP for a Thyroid test.

https://www.btf-thyroid.org/information/leaflets/34-thyroid-function-tests-guide
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Disclaimer: The comments above may be predicted text and not necessarily the opinion of MCN.

[Pjay]

If you want to increase your bodyweight, drink a litre of full fat milk per day (preferably before 2pm) and you will find you'll need to stop after 2-3 months.

Think about it logically, milk is there to grow a calf in a few months to many more kilos that you would ever want to grow.

It's no coincidence that shakes and weight gain powders all suggest mixing it with milk. It's the milk that does the main work, they wont tell you this for obvious reasons, but it's a fact that milks sole reason for being is to build up bodyweight.

[Dave70]

[hellkat]

OMG

[hellkat]

Buy a pie, eat that.
Go back and buy another.
Eat that, if you can.

If not, try the same thing next day.

Get good enough at eating two pies that you have to buy two at once.
So then buy another, and see how far through that you can eat your way.

And only buy them at 2.30 am, as they are more fattening then.
And only from the petrol garage.

This method also works with:

Cakes (any variety)
Ham and Cheese toasted sandwiches
... (in fact, anything that involves a tasty combo of pork products and dairy products)
Fried bread (including French toast)
McFlurries
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[Pjay]

[bacon]

I'd probably ignore trying to put on weight as a priority, I don't know your age but as a teenager up to my mid twenties you could always see my ribs.

I was fairly lean, despite what I would eat, I even tried taking weight gain powder to no avail. I had a decent metabolism, as I assume do you.

If you want to gain weight you are better off going to the gym a few times a week and eating appropriately. At the age of 24, within 6-9 months or so of going to the gym 4-5 times a week, free weights and a small amount of cardio, I went from 9 stone 10, to 11 stone. (I'm only 5ft 6). For me that was monumental, I had hovered around 9 1/2 - 10 stone for most of my life in my early 20's. Another 6 months had me plateau around 11 1/2 stone.

I'm now 31, no gym in sight and sat at 11 stone quite comfortably.

if you are trying to get fat for the lols, then just eat as much shite as you can on a daily basis. Beer, butter and Macdonalds maybe...

My youngest brother did exactly that, now hes a fat bastard and struggles to get below 14 stone (same height as me, and he used to be around the same weight before hand)

[Baffler186]

why do you want to put on weight? I could understand if you wanted to bulk up (in which case high protein and weight training), but eating all that crap is just going to deposit fat around your arteries and organs as well. Some people are naturally skinny. Make the most of it. I am 5'7 and just under 11 stone, but if I ate what I wanted I can, and have done in the past, easily climb to 14 stone where I resemble a pale and chubby hamster with fat cheeks.
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Current: 2009 SV650 S, 1990 Kawasaki GT550
Previous: 2009 CBF125, 1998 GSF600, 2004 FZ6 Fazer, 1978 CB400a Hondamatic

[stinkwheel]

Dunno how old you are but if you're under 20, just wait. You'll have the opposite problem soon.
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“Rule one: Always stick around for one more drink. That's when things happen. That's when you find out everything you want to know.”
I did the 2010 Round Britain Rally on my 350 Bullet. 89 landmarks, 3 months, 9,500 miles.