|
Author |
Message |
Asharin |
This post is not being displayed .
|
Asharin World Chat Champion
Joined: 05 Oct 2008 Karma :
|
Posted: 10:18 - 01 Aug 2018 Post subject: Am I the bad guy here??? - update suicide attempt |
|
|
Bit of a long one here so apologies, I'll add a TL;DR at the end
I met my now ex, just over 3 years ago and she was well aware that at 40 years old, and already having 3 kids that I did not want anymore. I had one of my sons living with me, the other two were grown up and have their own places. I supported the ex through quite a stressful court case against her ex (he beat her up and then refused to sell the properties they'd owned so she took him to court to just get them sold so there was nothing joining them financially) as part of this he would come around to where we lived at random hours, banging on the door demanding to be let in to 'his' property...despite the fact he lived in the other (they'd owned two, he lived in one, she in the other (originally they both lived in one and rented the other out)
This caused her stress, so she wanted to move, so we moved to South Wales and all was good.....the court case ended, properties were sold and her ex was finally out of her life.
Then she decided that she did want kids after all, so I compromised and said well, I'll agree to one, and so we had a baby together (who is possibly the cutest in the world...but I'm biased )
She said she wanted to do fostering and, while I had my doubts, I agreed to on the condition that if it affects my autistic son in any way or our daughter then we stop. However, during the training sessions, the risk of allegations came up, and if there were any, then while the investigation was ongoing, they could remove our own kids from us.
Or possibly the accused parent have to move out, until the investigation was complete.
As my son had been removed from his mothers care (due to neglect) by social services and placed in foster care previously, before a court case had him live with me, I was reluctant to put him at any risk of going through that again, so I said no, sorry I can't do it and explained exactly why.
Ex then basically ignored me for a week, only speaking if the baby needed something, or to criticise or have a go about something. Then last week she started being more pleasant again, before asking 'Why don't we adopt two little girls, then our daughter can have sisters'
I said no, I'm sorry, you know I don't want more kids, I already compromised with our daughter. Instantly back to silent treatment, and then packs her stuff and leaves.
Apparently it's MY fault the relationship is over, I don't see it that way..I see it as I was not wanting to put my kids at risk, and she got all pissed off because i didn't give in to her demands so she left.
I did ask her if she was coming back, she said no, I'm going to foster or adopt on my own so our daughter gets siblings..(my son doesn't count???)
So basically, because she didn't get what she wanted, she's breaking up the family our daughter DID have, to try and make a separate one with just her.
The best bit was when she messaged my mum (who lives in spain) and asked if my mum would buy her a house so she can stay in the area, otherwise she might have to move a long way away and that I wouldn't be able to see our daughter as much/. Needless to say, mum told her where to go..
Ex is STILL trying to get me to help her find a place round here, and tbh if it wasn't for daughter I'd tell her to fuck off
But I'm the bad guy...
TL;DR Ex didn't get her way, so left and broke up family when no one gave in to her emotional blackmail ____________________ I can't sing: https://laughinginpurgatory.bandcamp.com and https://soundcloud.com/laughing-in-purgatory
I am Dyslexic of Borg, resemblance is fertile, your ass will be laminated.
2008 Honda Dullsville 700
Last edited by Asharin on 02:20 - 02 Aug 2018; edited 1 time in total |
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
Itchy |
This post is not being displayed .
|
Itchy Super Spammer
Joined: 07 Apr 2005 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
chris-red |
This post is not being displayed .
|
chris-red Have you considered a TDM?
Joined: 21 Sep 2005 Karma :
|
Posted: 10:49 - 01 Aug 2018 Post subject: Re: Am I the bad guy here??? |
|
|
A bloke I know was in a similar situation, he got the snip on the sly ____________________ Well, you know what they say. If you want to save the world, you have to push a few old ladies down the stairs.
Skudd:- Perhaps she just thinks you are a window licker and is being nice just in case she becomes another Jill Dando.
WANTED:- Fujinon (Fuji) M42 (Screw on) lenses, let me know if you have anything. |
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
waffles |
This post is not being displayed .
|
waffles World Chat Champion
Joined: 04 Oct 2009 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
Asharin |
This post is not being displayed .
|
Asharin World Chat Champion
Joined: 05 Oct 2008 Karma :
|
Posted: 11:41 - 01 Aug 2018 Post subject: |
|
|
Thanks guys. I'm just glad my son (who is autistic) is down visiting his mum while this is going on. It'd send him into a full blown meltdown. Hopefully when he comes back on Saturday and I explain it all too him he won't be too upset, but I know in my heart he will be ____________________ I can't sing: https://laughinginpurgatory.bandcamp.com and https://soundcloud.com/laughing-in-purgatory
I am Dyslexic of Borg, resemblance is fertile, your ass will be laminated.
2008 Honda Dullsville 700 |
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
sickpup |
This post is not being displayed .
|
sickpup Old Timer
Joined: 21 Apr 2004 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
kerr |
This post is not being displayed .
|
kerr World Chat Champion
Joined: 08 May 2011 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
Asharin |
This post is not being displayed .
|
Asharin World Chat Champion
Joined: 05 Oct 2008 Karma :
|
Posted: 16:48 - 01 Aug 2018 Post subject: |
|
|
Oh it gets better now.
She messaged me today asking if I could cope with daughter and my son, I said of course I can but why are you asking?
She then went on and on about how she can't support her and give her the things she needs and that she'll be bringing her over tonight and then she will go and doesn't want to see our daughter because 'Don't think I could be in her life if she wasn't with me all the time'
WTF? I mean, great I'd love to have my baby girl with me, but at what cost? makes me think the ex is going to do something stupid...
or it's just more emotional blackmail. I can't tell.
Clearly she's nuts, I seem to attract nutters. I'm staying single from now on. ____________________ I can't sing: https://laughinginpurgatory.bandcamp.com and https://soundcloud.com/laughing-in-purgatory
I am Dyslexic of Borg, resemblance is fertile, your ass will be laminated.
2008 Honda Dullsville 700 |
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
P. |
This post is not being displayed .
|
P. Red Rocket
Joined: 14 Feb 2008 Karma :
|
Posted: 17:54 - 01 Aug 2018 Post subject: |
|
|
Do you want her to disappear. Because it sounds like she needs to. Negativity and emotional blackmail on that level require the person to be evicted from the big brother house...
Definitely would remove from life. |
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
Jewlio Rides Again LLB |
This post is not being displayed .
|
Jewlio Rides Again LLB World Chat Champion
Joined: 06 Oct 2015 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
Asharin |
This post is not being displayed .
|
Asharin World Chat Champion
Joined: 05 Oct 2008 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
Old Git Racing |
This post is not being displayed .
|
Old Git Racing World Chat Champion
Joined: 08 Aug 2009 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
Kawasaki Jimbo |
This post is not being displayed .
|
Kawasaki Jimbo World Chat Champion
Joined: 09 Oct 2015 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
stevo as b4 |
This post is not being displayed .
|
stevo as b4 World Chat Champion
Joined: 17 Jul 2003 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
mikester |
This post is not being displayed .
|
mikester Trackday Trickster
Joined: 04 Mar 2012 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
kerr |
This post is not being displayed .
|
kerr World Chat Champion
Joined: 08 May 2011 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
Asharin |
This post is not being displayed .
|
Asharin World Chat Champion
Joined: 05 Oct 2008 Karma :
|
Posted: 21:48 - 01 Aug 2018 Post subject: |
|
|
Well..she came back, said she might not need to leave our daughter with me. Gave the baby her night time bottle (7pm) then went out again saying she'd be back later. Still not back, but I messaged her and asked why was she keeping daughter out so late? as it's not good for a baby.
She said she was at the hospital getting help...no idea which one though, there's 3 in the area...5 if you count the non A+E ones.
I'm really struggling to deal with this shit. ____________________ I can't sing: https://laughinginpurgatory.bandcamp.com and https://soundcloud.com/laughing-in-purgatory
I am Dyslexic of Borg, resemblance is fertile, your ass will be laminated.
2008 Honda Dullsville 700 |
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
MCN |
This post is not being displayed .
|
MCN Super Spammer
Joined: 22 Jul 2015 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
BTTD |
This post is not being displayed .
|
BTTD World Chat Champion
Joined: 22 Nov 2012 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
Shaft |
This post is not being displayed .
|
Shaft World Chat Champion
Joined: 27 Dec 2010 Karma :
|
Posted: 23:21 - 01 Aug 2018 Post subject: |
|
|
jnw010 wrote: | I dunno, it may not be helpful, but then again it might be useful to start noting all the dates and times and what's happening.
If nothing else it might help with your sanity when things start getting really complicated and her version of history dramatically deviates from reality. It'll flat out stop you questioning your own memory.
It may also help you spot patterns or "coincidental" events later down the line.....
|
That's what I would do, because it sounds to me that at some point, this is all going to turn to shit for you, especially if whatever the latest incarnation of the CSA ever get involved.
If there's any logistical way (and that's what you want) you can keep hold of your baby, then do that, fuck off the mother and keep detailed records of anything that happens next.
Frankly, she sounds like a serious liability, but not so radio rental that she can't find it within her powers to bring down all sorts of bureaucratic and seriously damaging shit on you.
Good luck fella ____________________ Things get better with age; I'm close to being magnificent........
20 RE Interceptor, 83 Z1100A3, 83 GS650 Katana
WooHoo, I'm a Man Point Millionaire! https://www.bikechatforums.com/viewtopic.php?t=234035 |
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
Asharin |
This post is not being displayed .
|
Asharin World Chat Champion
Joined: 05 Oct 2008 Karma :
|
Posted: 02:09 - 02 Aug 2018 Post subject: |
|
|
Well..she came back to my house. Visibly upset saying no one would help her. Asked me to put the baby to bed, which I did. Came back downstairs to find her chugging approx 40 paracetamol. (well, some of the packets could have been part empty but who knows?)
Called an ambulance, they came and persuaded her to go though she refused initially...think it was the threat of them calling the police that did it.
Baby girl is still asleep blissfully unaware, but there is no way in hell she's going back to her mother now, and the ex isn't coming back here either. ____________________ I can't sing: https://laughinginpurgatory.bandcamp.com and https://soundcloud.com/laughing-in-purgatory
I am Dyslexic of Borg, resemblance is fertile, your ass will be laminated.
2008 Honda Dullsville 700 |
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
Ste |
This post is not being displayed .
|
Ste Not Work Safe
Joined: 01 Sep 2002 Karma :
|
Posted: 03:02 - 02 Aug 2018 Post subject: |
|
|
Arse cakes.
A&E or whichever ward she gets put on will have her assessed by a psychiatrist who'll decide that she doesn't need to go a psychiatric hospital, she'll be sent on her way and her details passed to their care in the community department.
Their decision to not admit her will of course have absolutely nothing to do with the fact they have no available beds.
I'd expect a quantity of tablets like that to have reappeared fairly quickly but who knows how many she took.
Police powers to take someone to hospital against their wishes are somewhat limited if they find the person in a private property. |
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
P. |
This post is not being displayed .
|
P. Red Rocket
Joined: 14 Feb 2008 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
MCN |
This post is not being displayed .
|
MCN Super Spammer
Joined: 22 Jul 2015 Karma :
|
Posted: 09:01 - 02 Aug 2018 Post subject: |
|
|
Suicidal/Narcissistic other half?
Get as far away as possible.
No mileage in a relationship.
The fukers know how to reel folk in initially but their personality disorder comes to the surface sooner or later.
A&E primarily good for cuts and breaks, heart attack, stroke, child birth.
Psychiatric support maybe not always so good. Medicine is not so advanced yet.
Sectioning someone is awkward coz they “as their rights“ init.
https://www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/AboutNHSservices/mental-health-services-explained/Pages/easy-read-mental-health-act.aspx
The difficulty lies in how the patient presents at the time of examination/initial assessment. And how determined or experienced the physician is.
It's a mind field.
It can take a long time for people to get help.
And more if the person thinks they do not need help.
Nutters will be nutters. ____________________ Disclaimer: The comments above may be predicted text and not necessarily the opinion of MCN. |
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
BTTD |
This post is not being displayed .
|
BTTD World Chat Champion
Joined: 22 Nov 2012 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
Old Thread Alert!
The last post was made 5 years, 311 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful? |
|
|
|