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Men don't listen to women.

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Ribenapigeon
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PostPosted: 14:17 - 07 Jan 2019    Post subject: Men don't listen to women. Reply with quote

To cut a ling story short. My girlfriend made me go and get my hearing tested. Turns out my hearing is fine. When I told the audiologist my girlfriend made me get my hearing tested they said thats the usual reason men get tested and usually their hearing is fine its just they're not listening to their other half.

So apart from the obvious funny explanations, why dont men hear what women say? [/code]
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owl
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PostPosted: 14:23 - 07 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

Apparently I have selective hearing, but then again I also seem to be part of entire conversations I'm convinced never happened.
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MarJay
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PostPosted: 14:25 - 07 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's to do with the structure of (certain) women's and (certain) Men's brains.

Men cannot focus on more than one thing at once due to lack of connections between brain halves, whereas by and large women have more connections and are therefore more able to handle multiple inputs at the same time.

So if I'm watching a Youtube video and my GF says something to me, it just doesn't go in, even if I want it to. She doesn't get it as she's able to listen and watch at the same time which is a skill I don't have.
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PostPosted: 14:30 - 07 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

https://youtu.be/l3fa7BYnovY?t=61 Laughing
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PostPosted: 14:33 - 07 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

MarJay wrote:
It's to do with the structure of (certain) women's and (certain) Men's brains.

Men cannot focus on more than one thing at once due to lack of connections between brain halves, whereas by and large women have more connections and are therefore more able to handle multiple inputs at the same time.

So if I'm watching a Youtube video and my GF says something to me, it just doesn't go in, even if I want it to. She doesn't get it as she's able to listen and watch at the same time which is a skill I don't have.

I don't buy the whole multi-tasking thing. [Sexism alert] Driving is multi-tasking yet a lot of women seem to have to solely focus on controlling the car so tend to drive a bit shit. I think this is also (partly) why there haven't been many top female racing drivers, as at that level you need a lot of spare capacity.
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Bubbs
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PostPosted: 14:37 - 07 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

I learned something very interesting when i did a Myers Briggs personality course. It might not translate to you if you're not an introvert...

Say there's a problem that needs to be resolved. An introvert will think through this internally, and after a while come up with their chosen solution, when a solution is reached, only then will they verbalise what they have come up with. Meaning the part of any verbal discussion you need to pay attention to with an introvert tends to be the first few sentences.

An extrovert will take a problem and talk through the thinking process, giving all sort of answers that the introvert would have dismissed through their internal thinking procvess, and finally coming to the answer after talking through all possibilities. Usually they reach the same answer as the introvert.

The not listening problem kicks in because an introvert is looking for the important info at the start of verbal discussion...once they hear that it's bollocks they stop seeing the conversation as valuable and stop listening, thereby missing the important part.

I have this problem with my wife. I automatically stop listening if it sounds like she's waffling. We have different processes. Problem is, even knowing this I still struggle to keep my attention on the conversation as I find it quite annoying listening to the working out section.

Not saying this is the only reason but it must be a big factor for a lot of people.
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Polarbear
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PostPosted: 14:57 - 07 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

M.C wrote:

I don't buy the whole multi-tasking thing. [Sexism alert] Driving is multi-tasking yet a lot of women seem to have to solely focus on controlling the car so tend to drive a bit shit. I think this is also (partly) why there haven't been many top female racing drivers, as at that level you need a lot of spare capacity.


Not sure I agree with that. Men, generally I accept are better drivers. Women, especially when there are more than one in a car, are pretty crap. (rabbit, rabbit, rabbit etc)

However really good women drivers are exceptional. Whether better than men, I don't know but certainly as good.

I think a lot is down to interest. If it interests a woman, she tries to be good at it. If it doesn't, and to most women driving is just a necessity, they do enough to get by.
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Feasty
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PostPosted: 15:18 - 07 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

Same thing happens with me. Quite frequently my wife will refer to a conversation we had a previous time that I won't remotely remember. I wear hearing aids so do have a reasonable excuse, but not when she reminds me I actually partook in that conversation and made the resulting decision!

On the other hand, I always drive - particularly on longer journeys. I'm better at it, have more interest in it and have a much better concentration span.

We definitely have that introvert/extrovert thing going on, add to that I'm a putter-offer and she's a planner... it's amazing we get on so well! Laughing
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Riejufixing
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PostPosted: 15:35 - 07 Jan 2019    Post subject: Re: Men don't listen to women. Reply with quote

Ribenapigeon wrote:
So apart from the obvious funny explanations, why dont men hear what women say?


Well, there is a scientific explanation.

Aural detection in males of the acoustic pressure derived from the oral orifice of the female partner is inversely proportional to the term of their association (O'Leary, Driscoll et al, 1932), caused by reduction in the area of the pinna, length and diameter of the external auditory meatus, accretion of cerumen and in extreme cases erosion of the stereocilia in the organ of Corti (Kissinger & Asch, 1951). It has been postulated (Caitlin & Latané, 1952) that this is a natural defence mechanism not extant in the human female.
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Tracey Suntan-King
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PostPosted: 15:42 - 07 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

You've got a girlfriend?
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-.
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PostPosted: 15:57 - 07 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

Polarbear wrote:
M.C wrote:

I don't buy the whole multi-tasking thing. [Sexism alert] Driving is multi-tasking yet a lot of women seem to have to solely focus on controlling the car so tend to drive a bit shit. I think this is also (partly) why there haven't been many top female racing drivers, as at that level you need a lot of spare capacity.


Not sure I agree with that. Men, generally I accept are better drivers. Women, especially when there are more than one in a car, are pretty crap. (rabbit, rabbit, rabbit etc)

However really good women drivers are exceptional. Whether better than men, I don't know but certainly as good.

I think a lot is down to interest. If it interests a woman, she tries to be good at it. If it doesn't, and to most women driving is just a necessity, they do enough to get by.

I am generalising and there are some exceptional women drivers (and there are some appalling men), it's just generally something I've noticed, and I'd say driving is probably the most multi-tasking any of us do.
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supZ
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PostPosted: 16:02 - 07 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

The other day my mrs said 'you're not listening to me, are you?!' which I thought was a weird way to start a conversation.
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Pjay
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PostPosted: 16:36 - 07 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's all white noise to me.
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Ribenapigeon
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PostPosted: 16:39 - 07 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tracey Suntan-King wrote:
You've got a girlfriend?


I amaze myself with the fact every day.
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owl
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PostPosted: 17:38 - 07 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

M.C wrote:

I am generalising and there are some exceptional women drivers (and there are some appalling men), it's just generally something I've noticed, and I'd say driving is probably the most multi-tasking any of us do.


it's difficult to drive a vehicle take a phone call, change the radio and light a fag at the same time... nearly spilt my fucking beer

* none of this is true, it's incredibly easy
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Polarbear
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PostPosted: 18:33 - 07 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

owl wrote:
M.C wrote:

I am generalising and there are some exceptional women drivers (and there are some appalling men), it's just generally something I've noticed, and I'd say driving is probably the most multi-tasking any of us do.


it's difficult to drive a vehicle take a phone call, change the radio and light a fag at the same time... nearly spilt my fucking beer

* none of this is true, it's incredibly easy


My car hasn't got a fag lighter or an ashtray so you have to add getting the zippo out and opening the window then turning on the heated seats and steering wheel to that list. Rolling Eyes

The hardship. Cool
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owl
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PostPosted: 18:40 - 07 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't even smoke Laughing

I have on more than one occasion seen women applying make up whilst driving and a guy eating a doner kebab with a fork Mad I think we can all multi task if the desire is great enough
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Ste
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PostPosted: 18:47 - 07 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rolling Eyes

Steering with your knees should be part of the driving test.

Using a lighter whilst driving is easy enough, skinning up is the bit which requires practise.
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-.
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PostPosted: 18:57 - 07 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

owl wrote:
I have on more than one occasion seen women applying make up whilst driving and a guy eating a doner kebab with a fork Mad

Standard: https://youtu.be/0elsNDRqLtQ?t=33 Very Happy
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Ste
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PostPosted: 19:08 - 07 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

M.C wrote:
youtube vlogger shit

Bet he's mates with uphillfreewheeler.

Sick
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PostPosted: 19:11 - 07 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ste wrote:
uphillfreewheeler.

Who?
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Ste
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PostPosted: 19:21 - 07 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

This guy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7a4NiBVj_k
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MarJay
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PostPosted: 19:27 - 07 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

Polarbear wrote:


Not sure I agree with that. Men, generally I accept are better drivers. Women, especially when there are more than one in a car, are pretty crap. (rabbit, rabbit, rabbit etc)


I think the issue is that (once learned) driving is a single process in your brain. Sometimes being focused is a good thing for driving too.

Women will drive, text, think about work, all at the same time. I know until her work banned their employees from using a phone while driving my GF used to make calls and text and do various other things while driving which I cannot do.
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PostPosted: 19:53 - 07 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

MarJay wrote:
I think the issue is that (once learned) driving is a single process in your brain.

Is it? If I'm dealing with a cyclist on my left, a car on my right, and what gear I need to be in is that a single process? That's very much watching TV whilst someone talks to you, you decide how much of what to focus on.

If you can't multi-task you focus on the car and squish the cyclist, or if you really can't multi-task you get your gear change right then hit the car and the cyclist Very Happy

Also I can eat, text, wank whilst driving I just choose not to. In my experience the worst drivers struggle with purely controlling the car, leaving them no spare capacity to process everything else which's going on. It's why new drivers are so dangerous, but some people (somehow) never seem to get out of that new driver phase.
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MarJay
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PostPosted: 20:19 - 07 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

M.C wrote:
MarJay wrote:
I think the issue is that (once learned) driving is a single process in your brain.

Is it? If I'm dealing with a cyclist on my left, a car on my right, and what gear I need to be in is that a single process? That's very much watching TV whilst someone talks to you, you decide how much of what to focus on.

If you can't multi-task you focus on the car and squish the cyclist, or if you really can't multi-task you get your gear change right then hit the car and the cyclist Very Happy

Also I can eat, text, wank whilst driving I just choose not to. In my experience the worst drivers struggle with purely controlling the car, leaving them no spare capacity to process everything else which's going on. It's why new drivers are so dangerous, but some people (somehow) never seem to get out of that new driver phase.


I think you misunderstand the neurology of it. I'm no expert, but my understanding is as follows: There are three sections of the mind (for want of a better phrase). The Conscious, the emotional and the subconscious and all run at different speeds. The Subconscious runs at a vast speed, has massive processing power and can perform multiple tasks simultaneously. The conscious cannot and is the slowest, and the emotional is in the middle somewhere.

The subconscious can handle you passing a cyclist and looking at a lorry on the other side, but if your missus talks to you at the same time, engaging the conscious mind, you'll probably miss it, or become distracted and leave a nasty red residue on the tyres... and what happened to that cyclist dear?

If your missus tells you at that moment she's having an affair with your brother and has been for years, plus he's better in bed than you are... then Mr Cyclist will definitely be dead meat because the emotional brain will be engaged, and all bets are off.
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