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Getting it out of my head.

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Clanger
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PostPosted: 10:40 - 07 Mar 2020    Post subject: Getting it out of my head. Reply with quote

When you have so much going on in your life and it seems endless, and things keep building up and going wrong and you're lacking in energy, feeling run down and cold and then you get yelled at for something that wasn't your doing, your injuries are hurting more than usual, your brain won't shut up at night and you can't sleep properly and you're paddling for dear life to keep your head above water, and you're feeling wrung out and neeeeeed that holiday and the virus thing looks like it's gonna scupper that too...and only a handful of peeps have noticed that you have been a bit quiet at the mo (which isn't like you)...yeah that...

I almost put this on fb, but I don't want that type of comeback. Karma
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pepperami
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PostPosted: 10:52 - 07 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

Despite what’s going on elsewhere, you have a little oasis here where your contributions are welcome Thumbs Up

As for dealing with the shite life serves up :deal with one thing at a time, everything else can wait Thumbs Up

Nil desperandom illigatom : don’t let the bastards grind you down Thumbs Up
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Nobby the Bastard
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PostPosted: 11:00 - 07 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

pepperami wrote:


Nil desperandom illigatom : don’t let the bastards grind you down Thumbs Up


Oi!
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Kawasaki Jimbo
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PostPosted: 11:04 - 07 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

I thought this was a, "What's that song?" thread.
Leonard Cohen?
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Howling TerrorOutOfOffice
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PostPosted: 11:12 - 07 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's time to end it all





































....Oh wait a minute I still haven't learned to [thing you thought about years ago] for me it's currently a bit of piano.

Smile when you can, talk when you can and rub one out when you can. Thumbs Up
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stinkwheel
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PostPosted: 11:45 - 07 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

Having a holiday is not dependant on being in a particular place or going a long way away. It's about taking time out from your routine and doing stuff you want to do. Where you do that isn't all that important.
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 11:58 - 07 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

You could ride down and see your nice aunty hellkat and her magic cigarettes.
I'm stuck doors all weekend anyway, with what feels like a fucking sanitary towel attached to my cheek
Wink
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Polarbear
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PostPosted: 12:00 - 07 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

stinkwheel wrote:
Having a holiday is not dependant on being in a particular place or going a long way away. It's about taking time out from your routine and doing stuff you want to do. Where you do that isn't all that important.


Totally agree.

For me it's going on my boat and drawing the curtains on the hullabaloo of of life. The boat is only 5 minutes by car from my house and I don't even have to take it out of the marina to feel relaxed and recharge my batteries.

The stupid thing is I don't do much different when I'm on it that when I'm at home. I still watch telly, surf the net, read books but when it's a nice evening and I'm sitting on the back, fishing it does put everything in perspective.
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chickenstrip
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PostPosted: 13:08 - 07 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

Where you go can be important though, not necessarily just when you go away on holiday. Find a place in the countryside, away from people and go for a long walk. Somewhere pretty, by a river, or in the hills, or some woodland. Spring is coming, a better time for this. Take a packed lunch and spend the day outside in such a place.

Try meditation to calm those useless thoughts. The brain has what is known as the Default Mode Network, which is where it goes to in idle moments - meditation quiets that jumble of noise.
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MarJay
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PostPosted: 13:18 - 07 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

All things must pass.
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MCN
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PostPosted: 13:30 - 07 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

This a new take on a Flounce?

OP is about to Power Flounce.

I hope they negative karma as many others as it takes to make a clean sweep of the boards.


OP, go down and visit Aunty Hellkat.

Aunty Hellkat will lift your mood.

And stay off Facebook. It's polluted by bad life coaching and other charlatanery.
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chickenstrip
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PostPosted: 13:51 - 07 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

MCN wrote:



OP, go down and visit Aunty Hellkat.

Aunty Hellkat will lift your mood.

And stay off Facebook. It's polluted by bad life coaching and other charlatanery.


Absolutely that last point. Go and spend face-to-face time with your real life friends and loved ones.

I think when you get to the point Clanger is describing, sometimes a holiday is only a temporary relief though. Sometimes, our lives need a fundamental reassessment, and some soul-searching needs to be done. But don't let what you find in yourself get you down. You can change things, once you know where you really want to be. You must be totally honest with yourself though, and not be influenced by what others think, or what society says you should do and be. Time to put you first.
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The Shaggy D.A.
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PostPosted: 14:39 - 07 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've not found a solution to this yet, but a few things that help me make it through the week...

Avoid the "news". Whether TV, radio, social media, 99.9% of the time there's fuck all you can do about it, so don't give it the mindspace. The wife often brings up stuff that's happening in the States, or comments on what Russia's up to, or who's currently taking the piss out of Greta Thunberg. I'm just a fat bloke who works for the NHS who likes music, bikes, camping and computer games. Nothing I can say or do will change anything on the world stage.

I hate the twee term, but "practice good sleep hygiene". Same time every night, ban on electronic stuff an hour before, stick some soft music on and have a warm bath. Make it a routine. Give yourself permission to wind down. If a glass of wine (or two) is your thing, or a spliff, knock yourself out. Keep the room cool and dark. If you know you need 10 hours sleep, then time it accordingly for when you need to get up. Don't eat just before you go to bed, but don't go to bed hungry. Then again, there's no law saying "thou shalt get all your sleep in one 8 hour block". I often get home from work then have an hour or two nap before dinner.

I find stuff like TED talks are a good distraction when I'm trying to sleep and can't turn my brain off. Doesn't have to be deep and meaningful, but the more droning the presenter's voice and boring the subject the better. It gives you something to latch onto enough to stop the mind wandering, but not enough to start engaging the subject. Carl Sagan's Cosmos series is brilliant for that.

We're brought up being told that we're not the centre of the universe, but that's so wrong. We are the centres of our own universes, and the bottom line is that we are responsible for our own well being. You don't need someone else's permission to feel good, so give yourself permission to splash out. Treat yourself to a massage. And a meal out. And the posh loo roll.

Get outside. I like water, so rivers, the sea, lakes, reservoirs. You don't have to walk miles, just driving somewhere and sitting for an hour or so is good. Feed the ducks.

I would also mention eat right and exercise, but a man has his limits Smile
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UncleFester
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PostPosted: 14:50 - 07 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

There's that thing of 'wherever you go, there you are' so for me. A break is finding a place / interest that doesn't drag all my shit with me - emotional or otherwise.

Also don't underestimate a decent bit of self time. If that means switching phone off and ignoring social media for a few days whilst you read that book you've always fancied from cover to cover .. so be it.

So it's not about how long you go away for or even where you go. It's ( for me at least ) about being able to take a complete mental break from evverything including yourself.

It used to be LSD ... but these days a decent ride on the bike / Escape room / good book in a quiet corner of the house and some general peace and quiet from the noise of life is most welcome. Be that for an hour, a day, a few days or a week. Really important to find ways / places to make / have that time and space.

man up / chin up etc doesn't always cut it.
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chickenstrip
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PostPosted: 15:04 - 07 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

chickenstrip wrote:
...go for a long walk.


The Shaggy D.A. wrote:
You don't have to walk miles


No, of course you don't have to. But walking can be like a kind of meditation. I gather Clanger is quite fit from lots of running and stuff, so it wouldn't be a problem for her I don't think.

I sooooooo miss walking the Lake District fells. It used to clear my mind so much, and put me in a great frame of mind by the time I got home again.

Of course, there's also going for a blatt on the bike Smile
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 19:57 - 07 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've got a book somewhere called "ReInventing your Life"
Something about how to break free of negative patterns and feel good again

I haven't even read it but whenever I come across it around the house, it makes me think "Fuck yeah do something about that" and I pause to consider how I might best take myself off down a different avenue.
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Easy-X
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PostPosted: 21:16 - 07 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

Today I dragged myself out of bed at the crack of noon to work on the old DT. Tangibly nothing was achieved - it's still not in a ride-able state - but I feel energised nonetheless for getting something done Smile
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Pigeon
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PostPosted: 23:04 - 07 Mar 2020    Post subject: Re: Getting it out of my head. Reply with quote

chickenstrip wrote:
Try meditation


+1 Thumbs Up



Clanger wrote:
it seems endless, your brain won't shut up at night and you can't sleep properly


Most people would recognise everything you've said (although I just highlighted just a little).

But it all comes down to stress!

We can swim against the tide for a while, but eventually become tired.
Get a life jacket on and a couple of arm bands. The tide becomes much less of an issue. We can actually enjoy things again.

I do meditation to spend some time taking a peak at whats going on internally (often you don't know its building up until its gone past a certain point, but signs were there before) and crucially to de-stress.
It's incredible good at removing stress! Muscle tension stopped my neck moving. Gone.
3 hours turning in bed, mind racing 100mph. Not any more. 8 hours sleep from within 10 minutes of turning the light out.


Meditation. It's so simple (but simultaneously can be very difficult at the start). It requires nothing except some effort to figure it out at the start and commit to 10 minutes a night before bed.

Ahh but its not for me, I'm just not made like that, I can't just think of nothing, its too boring.
It's not about thinking of nothing. 500,000,000 people do it. It works for everyone, just takes practice.
It can be boring, until you start to unlock it. Then its a lovely warm place to be, and who doesn't like feeling nice, especially when surrounded by chaos and negativity.


EDIT:

Don't get me wrong. When someone is shouting in my face at work that I've cocked up (when I haven't). Or giving me shit over deadlines that only exist because they left stuff to the last possible minute.
I would still get very angry / frustrated internally and want to smash their face in.
The difference, I can offload that stress very quickly using a couple of techniques.
Meditation clears the stress. So am not arriving the next day 90% amped. There is room to take more shit.

After a few months, even the reaction in the situation is reduced. No longer getting worked up to worry about punching anyone, because none of it matters enough to warrant that.

I became so Zen, I stopped meditation after a year. Didn't need it anymore.

That was a mistake. Wish I hadn't quit. A year later and I was really needing the benefits and unable to make it work or get back into it.

It took a month of trying daily before it started to click again.
It is a practice.
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 23:40 - 07 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

chickenstrip wrote:
chickenstrip wrote:
...go for a long walk.


The Shaggy D.A. wrote:
You don't have to walk miles


No, of course you don't have to. But walking can be like a kind of meditation. I gather Clanger is quite fit from lots of running and stuff, so it wouldn't be a problem for her I don't think.

I sooooooo miss walking the Lake District fells. It used to clear my mind so much, and put me in a great frame of mind by the time I got home again.


Even I, queen of couch potatoes, would acknowledge that I used to benefit from the value of extra walking, when I had Bruno.
Suddenly finding yourself with 30 or 40 minutes to think about absolutely nothing is really releasing.

Pigeon is right, you do sound super stressed, Clangs.
When you are stressed, you never believe that you would be able to make the time to stop and think about nothing, to clear your stress.

But you know you can, sweetpea.

Come down if you feel you have the energy to get here.
I'm here most weekends.
Even though I'm in London, the world on planet hellkat is very different than the world outside.

I can clear the junk off my chaise longue and you can lie there like a psychology patient and tell auntie hellkat all your woes and unload. I've even got a nice soft fleecy blanket to cover you with and keep you warm.
Wine, spliffs, cake, beer, bacon
(well, ok its Stella Shifty )

BYO Incense Laughing
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Last edited by hellkat on 00:02 - 08 Mar 2020; edited 1 time in total
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 23:46 - 07 Mar 2020    Post subject: Re: Getting it out of my head. Reply with quote

Important point:

Pigeon wrote:
none of it matters


VERY important point.
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chickenstrip
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PostPosted: 00:04 - 08 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

hellkat wrote:

I can clear the junk off my chaise longue and you can lie there like a psychology patient and tell auntie hellkat all your woes and unload. I've even got a nice soft fleecy blanket to cover you with and keep you warm.
Wine, spliffs, cake, beer, bacon



*Sigh*
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 00:12 - 08 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's open house, chickenygeez.

Just one rule: leave politics at door: global, local, bike club - it doesn't get past the somewhat-bedraggled welcome mat.

Anyone can come Laughing
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chickenstrip
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PostPosted: 00:16 - 08 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

I so wish I could. I don't have any of that stuff you mentioned, nor good company to share it with Sad
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JackButler
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PostPosted: 06:55 - 08 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

A man is walking down the road when suddenly a great big hole opens up & he falls in. He's down at the bottom, the walls are steep & slippery & the hole is too deep to climb out on his own. It is dark down there.

A doctor comes across the hole & shouts down to the man "are you OK"? The man shouts back "hey doc, I'm stuck down here & can't find the way out. Can you help me"? The doctor scribbles out a prescription, throws it down the hole & moves on.

A short while later a priest comes across the hole & the man shouts out "hey padre, I'm stuck down here, can you help us out"? The priest writes out a short prayer & throws it down the hole.

The mans friends & family start to miss him, they split up & begin searching all over until finally one of his friends comes across the hole & jumps down into it.

"Are you fukkin crazy, now we're both stuck down this hole" the man cries out in despair.

"Yeah, but I've been down here before & I know the way out. Will you take my hand & I'll show you the way".

All we can do is talk because it's the only thing that works. Find someone to talk to.
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wr6133
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PostPosted: 12:19 - 08 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think you should visit Hellkat, I find a large joint and someone to laugh at your woes is the best way to get over/around them.
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