A Joke A Day

[RhynoCZ]

I'll admit it, I have a tremendous sex drive. My girlfriend lives forty miles away.
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor

[Howling Terror]

My son became addicted to brake fluid but he can stop any time.
____________________
Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[B1N]

My wife told me she thought we’d have less arguments if I wasn’t so pedantic.

I told her, “I think you mean fewer”.

[B1N]

What does Arnold Schwarzenegger call a colonoscopy?

Cameron Diaz.

[RhynoCZ]

"An object immersed in a fluid should then mop up the floor around the bathtub."

Archimedes' wife, 246 BC.
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor

[Howling Terror]

I had a row with the wife last night and she threw a bottle of fabric conditioner at me. It must have been Lenor as it was too close for comfort.
____________________
Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[Skudd]

It's so bloody cold that Scousers have their hands in their own pockets.
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Famous last words of Humpty Dumpty. " Stop pushing me "
Petty Anarchists look at "1984".............. The Visionary looks at "Animal Farm".

[virus]

The bit in between the front door and the back door of a Nandos is called the Peri-Peri-Neium.
____________________
own: 81 xs1100g...
owned: 85 rat CG (sold), 91 GS500e (stolen), 84 gsx400f (scrapped), 81 z250 (siezed, siezed, scrapped), 83 cb250rs (sold), 84 gpz750r ratfighter (killed) 84gpz400 (sold), '80 cb650 ratfighter (wrote off) 95gsx6/12f ratfighter (killed) 91 xj900 (sold)
stinkwheel Well I just had my hands up a pigs fanny. Which makes your concerns pale into insignificance.

[Howling Terror]

You know that feeling when you meet someone and your heart skips a beat?

Yeah, that's arrhythmia.
You can die from that.
____________________
Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[RhynoCZ]

I've heard Trump wrote a book. I've also heard that it was the only book with four Chapter elevens in it.
____________________
'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor

[RhynoCZ]

What's the best way to make people remember you?

Borrow money from them.
____________________
'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor

[Howling Terror]

'My joints are stiff.'

You're rolling them too tight.
____________________
Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[virus]

why do chicken coops have 2 doors?


Because if they had 3 doors they would be called a chicken hatchback.
____________________
own: 81 xs1100g...
owned: 85 rat CG (sold), 91 GS500e (stolen), 84 gsx400f (scrapped), 81 z250 (siezed, siezed, scrapped), 83 cb250rs (sold), 84 gpz750r ratfighter (killed) 84gpz400 (sold), '80 cb650 ratfighter (wrote off) 95gsx6/12f ratfighter (killed) 91 xj900 (sold)
stinkwheel Well I just had my hands up a pigs fanny. Which makes your concerns pale into insignificance.

[to v or not to v]

whats the difference between Shamima Begum and a mackerel?

one has slimy skin, big bulging eyes and stinks

the others a fish.
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current bike Yamaha Thunderace.
its old and fat, but its a damned good ride. the bikes not bad either.

[panrider_uk]

A 9 year old girl has disappeared...

She disappeared after using a revolutionary new moisturizer that makes you look 10 years younger.
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Current bikes: Hondas - Forza 750, ST1100A

[doggone]

https://i.postimg.cc/Qdy5GmLm/doc.jpg

[B1N]

pictures

[recman]

I thought I heard the onions I bought the other day singing a Bee Gees song but when I double checked I found it was just the chives talkin'.

[Easy-X]

After a gruelling and sometimes dangerous 2 hour car chase, the Paparazzi finally managed to lose Harry & Meghan.
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Husqvarna Vitpilen 401, Yamaha XSR700, Honda Rebel, Yamaha DT175, Suzuki SV650 (loan) Fazer 600, Keeway Superlight 125, 50cc turd scooter

[B1N]

More pics

[B1N]

And another one.

[Easy-X]

I used to think the Scofield Scale was how hot your chillies were but it turns out it's actually how many inches you can get inside an intern
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Husqvarna Vitpilen 401, Yamaha XSR700, Honda Rebel, Yamaha DT175, Suzuki SV650 (loan) Fazer 600, Keeway Superlight 125, 50cc turd scooter

[RhynoCZ]

https://www.rouming.cz/archived/Wholesome46.jpg
____________________
'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor

[King29]

I’m dating a bin lady at the moment but I can never remember if I’m supposed to take her out on a Monday or a Wednesday

[to v or not to v]