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The "this tickled me" thread

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grr666
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PostPosted: 21:47 - 04 Aug 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote
to v or not to v wrote:

you cant be racist, you drive a black car Very Happy

And a black bike. But I think my white van cancels them both out.
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Easy-X
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PostPosted: 23:57 - 04 Aug 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote
How many virtue points is knobbing a black bird worth?
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Easy-X
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PostPosted: 18:51 - 07 Aug 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote
Italian man crushed to death under falling cheese wheels

Quote:
Giacomo Chiapparini, 74, was buried when a shelf broke in his warehouse... the collapse created a domino effect bringing down thousands of wheels...

It took 12 hours to find Mr Chiapparini's body


Shocked

I suppose once one shelf broke the rest was a feta accompli...
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to v or not to v
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PostPosted: 18:59 - 07 Aug 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote
Easy-X wrote:

I suppose once one shelf broke the rest was a feta accompli...


your jokes are so cheesy.
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Polarbear
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PostPosted: 20:22 - 07 Aug 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote
Easy-X wrote:
How many virtue points is knobbing a black bird worth?


You'll need to ask Jeremy Corbyn that.
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stinkwheel
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PostPosted: 22:43 - 07 Aug 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote
Polarbear wrote:
Easy-X wrote:
How many virtue points is knobbing a black bird worth?


You'll need to ask Jeremy Corbyn that.


Ah, but does a percieved lack of sympathy towards racism towards jews/Irish/Gypsies trump being black?
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grr666
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PostPosted: 14:11 - 11 Aug 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote
Sent this to a mate of mine who drives a lorry doing nights
Got a text at 02.34 this morning which read "Fuck off! Nearly crashed." Laughing
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Easy-X
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PostPosted: 15:46 - 15 Aug 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote
Trump vs. Biden 2024 Live Debate
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DaddyStu
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Joined: 19 Jan 2023
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PostPosted: 16:42 - 16 Aug 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote
Easy-X wrote:
How many virtue points is knobbing a black bird worth?


Surely the average fella would need something bigger like a pigeon maybe.
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recman
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PostPosted: 17:15 - 16 Aug 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote
A100man wrote:
https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/ehcAAOSwVU9jCN8Q/s-l1600.jpg


Image downloaded and circulated.
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to v or not to v
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PostPosted: 19:55 - 16 Aug 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote
https://i.imgur.com/SRNJGfH.jpg
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stinkwheel
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PostPosted: 21:32 - 16 Aug 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote
The Afroman police raid and subsequent music video release featuring CCTV of said police quite tickled me recently. Especially because the police concerned are now trying to sue him for invasion of privacy and emotional distress for publishing footage of them kicking in his door, wrecking his house and taking his money for no good reason.

I particularly liked the Lemon pound cake man part.

https://www.nme.com/news/music/afroman-sued-by-seven-officers-who-raided-his-home-3420580
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Easy-X
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PostPosted: 10:38 - 22 Sep 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote
What Does Marijuana Do to Spiders? wrote:
Getting spiders high for science started in 1948, when German zoologist H.M. Peters got fed up with trying to study web-building behaviour in spiders who wouldn't do him the courtesy of working on his schedule. His garden spiders tended to build their webs between two and five a.m., and he asked his pharmacologist friend P.N. Witt if there might be some chemical stimulant that would coax the spiders into building their webs at a more reasonable time.

Witt tried giving the spiders some amphetamine and, while they kept building at their usual hour (to Peters' dismay), the two scientists did notice that those webs were more haphazard than normal. Over the next few decades, Witt continued to dose spiders with a smorgasbord of psychoactive substances, including marijuana, LSD, caffeine and mescaline, to see how they reacted. Since spiders can’t use tiny bongs or drink from little mugs, Witt and his team either dissolved the drugs in sugar water or injected them into flies and then fed the spiders with them.


Laughing
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Easy-X
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PostPosted: 21:05 - 29 Nov 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote
Young Kansas City Chiefs fan is accused of racist blackface by reporter - even though other half of child's face was painted RED to match team's colors

Quote:
Sports reporter Carron Phillips later wrote on Monday that 'a Kansas City Chiefs fan found a way to hate Black people and the Native Americans at the same time.'


Does the "journalist" back down? Hell no!

Carron Phillips wrote:
For the idiots in my mentions who are treating this as some harmless act because the other side of his face was painted red, I could make the argument that it makes it even worse.


Now it turns out... kid's part Native American Rolling Eyes
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MCN
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PostPosted: 04:08 - 30 Nov 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote
Easy-X wrote:
Young Kansas City Chiefs fan is accused of racist blackface by reporter - even though other half of child's face was painted RED to match team's colors

Quote:
Sports reporter Carron Phillips later wrote on Monday that 'a Kansas City Chiefs fan found a way to hate Black people and the Native Americans at the same time.'


Does the "journalist" back down? Hell no!

Carron Phillips wrote:
For the idiots in my mentions who are treating this as some harmless act because the other side of his face was painted red, I could make the argument that it makes it even worse.


Now it turns out... kid's part Native American Rolling Eyes


Fuk all to do with this post but...
Your sig emoticon reminded me of this.
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Easy-X
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PostPosted: 13:55 - 26 Mar 2024    Post subject: Reply with quote
North Korea TV censors Alan Titchmarsh's trousers

Cue joke: "Is that a pruning knife in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?" Laughing
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Polarbear
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PostPosted: 21:45 - 26 Mar 2024    Post subject: Reply with quote
Easy-X wrote:
North Korea TV censors Alan Titchmarsh's trousers

Cue joke: "Is that a pruning knife in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?" Laughing


Did you see his interview about it? He's as chuffed as fcuk, lol
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Easy-X
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PostPosted: 09:06 - 27 Mar 2024    Post subject: Reply with quote
All gardeners have a dark, underlying subversive streak... you just have to dig for it.
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Easy-X
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PostPosted: 08:48 - 13 Jun 2024    Post subject: Reply with quote
Buenos Aires rocked by clashes over Milei reforms

With 300% annual inflation I think it's fair to say the economy of Argentina is in deep shit. You can either dig yourself out or dig deeper. Milei is attempting the former.

The funny bit:

Quote:
"We cannot believe that in Argentina we are discussing a law that will put us back 100 years," Fabio Nunez, a 55-year-old protesting lawyer, was quoted by AFP as saying.


1924 would be pre- Great Depression when Argentina was doing relatively well compared to the Rest of the World Rolling Eyes
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stinkwheel
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PostPosted: 03:50 - 15 Jun 2024    Post subject: Reply with quote
Wells Fargo just sacked several employees for using key stroke simulation devices and mouse jigglers when they were supposed to be working from home. Laughing

https://www.capsnlock.com/cdn/shop/articles/TheSimpsonskKeyboardPecker_c270039b-f8c3-44e5-8afe-3ff8fcbe392e.gif
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Easy-X
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PostPosted: 10:16 - 15 Jun 2024    Post subject: Reply with quote
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/ee/c6/f6/eec6f6980619cff8932558793d13be50.gif
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Easy-X
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PostPosted: 23:29 - 04 Jul 2024    Post subject: Reply with quote
A throwaway line on some political thing I half listened to: "...all the ex-British colonies are rich now!" Oh really?

Looking here:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_GDP_(nominal)_per_capita

Bermuda - British Overseas Territory
Ireland - formally part of the Union
Cayman Islands - British Overseas Territory
Singapore - former colony
United States - former colony
Qatar - former British Protectorate
Australia - former colony
Canada - former colony
United Arab Emirates - former British puppet state
Hong Kong - former colony
Israel - formerly the British Mandate of Palestine
British Virgin Islands - British Overseas Territory
New Zealand - former colony
Malta - former colony
Cyprus - former colony
Bahamas - former colony
Brunei - former British protected state
Kuwait - former British Protectorate
Bahrain - former British Protectorate
Guyana - former colony
Turks and Caicos Islands - British Overseas Territory
Saint Kitts and Nevis - former colony
Barbados - former colony

We can mention a few Dutch colonies (e.g. Macau, Aruba) but otherwise it seems like the Empire made loads of people rich while these sceptred isles slide quietly into obscurity Neutral
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Easy-X
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PostPosted: 22:30 - 23 Oct 2024    Post subject: Reply with quote
Cocaine use fuels record high in drug deaths

Seriously?! Fire your headline writers, BBC News Smile
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Easy-X
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PostPosted: 23:50 - 26 Oct 2024    Post subject: Reply with quote
MP filmed in heated exchange as assault reported

Quote:
A video has emerged appearing to show MP Mike Amesbury shouting and swearing at a man who is lying on the pavement during an apparent disturbance in Cheshire.

The Labour member for Runcorn and Helsby is seen pointing to the man and saying “you won’t threaten the MP ever again, will you?” in the early hours of Saturday in Frodsham town centre.


Ah! The spirit of John Prescott is alive and well in Runcorn Smile
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Raffles
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PostPosted: 07:02 - 27 Oct 2024    Post subject: Reply with quote
Easy-X wrote:
Quote:
A video has emerged appearing to show MP Mike Amesbury shouting and swearing at a man who is lying on the pavement during an apparent disturbance in Cheshire.

The Labour member for Runcorn and Helsby is seen pointing to the man and saying “you won’t threaten the MP ever again, will you?” in the early hours of Saturday in Frodsham town centre.

No matter what the circumstances of Amesbury's late night altercation, he will undoubtedly walk away scot free. He has the knack of choosing the right words to portray himself as the victim.
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