What excuses have you used?

[debdimps]

I've been lucky so far and havent attracted any attention (yet) from the Police for speeding, although with my illegal visor and end can it will happen eventually!


What excuses have you used?

[getyerkneedow...]

My mate got pulled on his gixxer6 racing a porsche. He had illegal can on, some illegal tyres, he'd put some slicks on, a dark visor, knee sliders all scratched up, small number plate, in the ram air pipes he had some blue neon leds wired in, his headlights were blacked over and the bike looked the dogs bollocks.

They pulled him over not for speeding, but because they were checking over all bikes with the Department of Transport, on one of their random, "lets piss bikers off days".

He explained away the bike by saying it had just taken part in a magazine photo shoot and he was riding it home, the stupid bastards beleived him and waved him on his way!

[MarsBar]

Back in my younger days I had an XR3i. Copper stopped me for driving like a twat and checked the car over. He noticed the tyres were balled (all of them) and asked me about them. I just said 'They're slicks they are mate!'
He laughed and just said 'I used to have one of these, we were all boy racers once'. I laughed and he drove off.
A little lucky me thinks.
Mark.

[the grim reaper]

I got pulled by coppers on the way back from Poole Quay once. I was with some mates and we'd been doing silly speeds when I noticed a car coming up fast, I dived down a convenient exit and got pulled. The copper was going mental asking me who my mates were, I replied, (with my bestest shocked expression) 'They weren't *my* mates, they were idiots!! They came past me so fast !!'.

He believed me, the dozy sod, the problem was that I then had to look like I meant to take the exit and knew where I was going (I couldn't rejoin the dual carriageway) so I was riding at night, in strange lanes, followed by a copper in his unmarked Volvo. He eventually took a turn off but I was hopelessly lost by then, it took me half an hour to find a sign post. Better than a ban though.

Cheers

Grim
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[getyerkneedow...]

[stinkwheel]

P.C. "So would you like to explain to me why you were doing 60mph in a 30 limit? and don't try arguing, we have your speed down here" *brandishes radar gun displaying 60mph*

stinkwheel "You see that little blue Fiesta down there?"

PC "Yes."

stinkwheel "Well, I have been following him doing 20mph for the last four miles and I knew this was the only place I could safely get past him. It is a small gap so I had to get some speed up to get past him and back in again before the corner."

*Checks over bike, looks at tyres, numberplate, tax disc, exhaust. Finds nothing.

Pulls out book of tickets.*

PC "Consider this a warning.. DON'T *Smacks stinkwheel round the back of the head with ticket book* do that again! Now fuck off.
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“Rule one: Always stick around for one more drink. That's when things happen. That's when you find out everything you want to know.”
I did the 2010 Round Britain Rally on my 350 Bullet. 89 landmarks, 3 months, 9,500 miles.

[Zoffo]

Don't...they heard them all. The first words out of you mouth should be "sorry officer"

They're only human and just like everyone else they get annoyed when someone tries to bullshit them.
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https://hyperbikes.forumsplace.com/

[ash t]

But its sill funny to hear the excuses!

Grim Reaper's was funny
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When You're Starting To Choke, Take Some Pills With Your Coke, Its Hyserical

[0ni]

Pulled over for doing 130+ on saturday.

Not enough tread on tires, dodgy looking tax disc (its actually legit), race can, restricted license, crash damage either side, teenager riding.

Admitted everything, apologised humbly, never grinned when the bike coppers said they couldn't keep up. Had my "shitting myself" face on. Showed a great amount of interest in the Pans they were riding "awfully clean aren't they?".

Documents checked out 100%

"Don't do it again - ok? Theres a time and a place for 3 figures this wasn't it."

.."And get your fucking tires changed!"

Earned one producer!
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Its a lovely day, just wait until some bastard spoils it.

[Zen Dog]

[Minky_monkey]

I don't use them, I'm just honest with them.

If you start spinning them a story, most of the time they've heard it a hundred times over, and it makes them feel like you're treating them like an idiot.

Not a good start, given the circumstances.

The highlights of my relationship with the old bill so far have been overtaking four cars in one hit in a 30mph limit, estimated speed past the last one was about 70. (I was young and stupid)

And more recently 67 in a 40.

Apart from a few silly tugs other than than.

None of which have resulted in anything other than a slap on the wrist.

[Keen]

Got pulled doing 35 in a 20 (1/2 mile 2 lane straight past a water works only a 20 cos it was on the edge of campus) and I told him I had just bought the bike a few days ago and I wasn't used to it yet, he was ready to let me off with a warning until he did a standard check and the plates came up stolen.... I borrowed them from the seller to ride the bike home (400 mile trip!), he said just to post it back to him... the officer was just about to slap the cuffs on me when I explained... used to worry now and then about the dodgy mexican hombre i bought it off coming looking for me

Not long after I inadvertantly cained it past a highway patrol officer in an unmarked car doing a good 95 (was an open florida highway, straight as an arrow with no traffic, not dangerous at all):

officer: son, I was travelling at the national speed limit and you still managed to pass me at speed, can you tell me why this is?'

me (oh shit): erm, sorry officer, I was concentrating on the road and I wasn't paying attention to my speedo...

officer (after brief silence): ok, I'm giving you a formal warning, go steady and keep the speed down.

The weed I had in my backpack made the whole affair even more nerve racking.
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"he who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man"- Dr. Johnson

[mrchips]

Once got pulled over on the dual carraigeway coming home from a bike lesson. Learners in NI are not allowed to exceed 45mph at any time. I can remember every word.

Officer: Are you the L driver
Me: yes
Officer: I saw you from the roundabout there, and I have to say, your little 125 goes well. I watched you come off the dual carriageway, throw it round the roundabout and proceed to give it a fleecing in 4 gears. Did you not see me behind you?
Me: (silent) Yes I did, I was aware of a blue Mondeo when I checked my mirror from the roundabout.
Officer: What speed is a Learner allowed to do
Me: 45
Officer: Perhaps then, you can explain why you were maintaining a steady speed of 66mph
Me (phew thats a relief, said 70 on the clock: I don't know, I was concentrating on the road ahead rather than my speedo
Officer: Well do you not think that in order to maintain a constant 45 miles per hour you should be checking your speedometer regularly
Me: Yes. Just coming home from my bike lesson there (I will be in his good books now)
Officer: Breaking free then?... How many points do you have
Me: None, clean license
Officer: So is everyones until the first time they get stopped for speeding. What shall I do with you
Me: Whatever you think is best
Officer: I can give you a court summons, fixed penalty or a caution
Me: I would appreciate a caution, my test is next month and I really don't want points, I was silly and I have learned my lesson

We talk a bit more and he takes my details. He hands me producer and says about how every peeler in Northern Ireland is now looking out for me

"And in future, don't fleece the shite out of your 125" he said before getting back in the car.
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Northern Irish? www.nibikers.com

[Raffles_Gentleman Thug]

I got pulled for 60 in a 30, overtaknig some twunts in a corsa.

fuzz saw it, pulled me over.

they gave it the whole "you don't impress anyone, why were you racing?"

me:" Officer, i have been behind that guy for nearly a mile, and he kept braking erratically, swerving about and the passengers were swearing and laughing at me. think abotu it from my point of view, if he slammed on his brakes and you go into him, you've dented your bumper. if they happened to me it'd total the bike and put me in hospital. All i was trying to do is get past"

officer: "oh, you know what, thats a fair point. off you go then"
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"Is sir addressing me or is he masticating on a house brick? Because either way sir loses his teeth."