He just does not understand!

[Sarah]

Last night I had an argument with my boyfriend. He was complaining about my bike saying its dangerous and that he doesn't want to lose me. I was trying to explain how its so important to me and its like a part of my personality. I wouldn't be me without a bike!

I said he should try it, not pillion with someone but do his CBT and have a go, but he wont.

He just doesn't understand how much it means to me, and how happy biking makes me. Anybody else had this problem? Can it be solved?

[DucatiEVO]

You can't force someone to like something and vice versa, just have to learn to live with it.

If you can't change something, no sense in arguing over it.


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aKa: Ducky

[Walloper]

Solutions:
1) Give up the bike.
2) Give up the boy.
3) Move in with me.

Like taste in food or music, it's a personality thing. I would never try to change someone.
But if they wanted to I would support them.

Not the answers you need.
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W-ireless A-rtificial L-ifeform L-imited to O-bservation P-eacekeeping and E-fficient R-epair

[pjones_po]

If he's dead against biking and WONT ever change then no it doesnt sound like it can be solved.

It all boils down to one factor - If 2 people care/love each other enough they will accept there differing opinions and passions in life.

Luckilly my missus loves bikes but if she started going out doing rock climbing without a harness I would be none too pleased(from the safety aspect) but I wouldnt stop her doing it.

The only resolution may be to agree to disagree, you dont talk to him about bikes, and he doesnt go on at you about it.

If he tries to stop you doing it, by making you feel guilty etc etc he may find he loses you anyway, through his own doing....

Hope you get it all sorted.

Paul.

[the grim reaper]

All you can do is to stress how important it is to you and maybe show him that biking is not as dangerous as everyone thinks it is.

One other solution is to get some advanced lessons, not only does it bring your insurance down but it may get him to understand that you are doing everything you can to keep safe.

I'm lucky, I met my wife at Boxhill so she understands my love of bikes and the only thing that has stopped her riding is the fact that she's pregnant. I still ride all year round and recently sold my car, so now I have no choice. She does worry about me riding on winter roads but she knows that I'm a safe rider.

Does he have any hobbies that he's passionate about? Explain that that is how you feel about bikes.

Cheers

Grim
____________________
Adverts don't always work: Remember that advert, where the army are running across the desert and they have a wounded man on a stretcher. They get to a ravine, the bridge is down and a caption pops up that says, 'What are you thinking?'. I don't know about you but I was thinking, 'Christ, I'm glad I'm not in the f***ing army'.

[Walloper]

[imho]

[Walloper]

[akaDAVE]

It's a tricky situation because you can't deny that it is dangerous. For us who ride bikes the danger is worth it but the partners only have to suffer the anxiety with none of the pleasure.
I am just very lucky I only got into biking quite recently but my girlfriend is understanding, even though I know it causes her worry. I just try to re-assure her as much as possible and I think over time it is getting better for her.
Maybe as time goes on he will get less and less stressed about it.
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GSXR600

[Sarah]

[pjones_po]

[Walloper]

Sarah Sarah Sarah
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W-ireless A-rtificial L-ifeform L-imited to O-bservation P-eacekeeping and E-fficient R-epair

[dainesefreak]

[kath600]

tell him you take on board his comments and love the fact he is so concerned but the bike is a big part of your life and part of you and that isn't likely to change.

at least your fella is concerned, my ex was just jelous of my bike and the time i spent on it and with other like minded folks whilst he spent all his time with 'stella'

nothing wrong with a 50 and i've never had a go off roading and would love to but.........

imagine what he's going to be like whe you get a 600 best prepare him well for it!

mind you my mum thought my 600 looked safer than my 50 'much more substancial!'

good luck
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Seven days without laughter......... makes one weak.

[Sparky]

hmmmmm

my GF doesnt like me on the bike as she worries! but she would never split with me over it, i see it as at least she cares!
i get moaned at in summer time when im out on it all the time with the lads but she knows i aint gonna change, and me, i just put up with it. its only moaning it doesnt do me any harm.

its hard to tell ya what to do as only you know how much you really like each other and if ya can put up with it!!

oh and hello Sarah i never said it in ya first post as too many hot blooded fellas trampled on me for your attention!
____________________
Previous zxr400 - Current ZXR636 late'03
*Who ever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door!*

[Walloper]

[Sarah]

Thanks for all the nice comments. I'll try talking to him again but I dont have much hope for things. I just hope he can understand and put up with it because i'm not going to stop biking.

Im taking him to go looking at bikes this weekend so the topic will no doubt come up!
I dont know maybe were just not right for each other.

[kath600]

[DucatiEVO]

[Walloper]

My last word on this one.
Sarah you seem cool enuf, look at the response you've got from all the charmers on BCF.

Play on your bike and be safe all the time.

If the lad can get over it then good if not then......
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W-ireless A-rtificial L-ifeform L-imited to O-bservation P-eacekeeping and E-fficient R-epair

[innominate]

Just tell him he will have to accept.

My Girlf was similar, now after a few years of having a bike she does not mind. Comes pillion with me for touring & stuff.


Still can't get her to try and ride one though
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I, as a responsible adult human being, will never concede the power to anyone to regulate my choice of what I put into my body, or where I go with my mind. From the skin inwards is my jurisdiction, is it not? I choose what may or may not cross that border. Here I am the customs agent. I am the coast-guard. I am the sole legal and spiritual government of this territory, and only the laws I choose to enact within myself are applicable.

[NSR Mick]

my missus hates bikes but when we met i told her straight off that i would always have bikes and she accepted that, 3 years and a baby later we are ok

[Zen Dog]

People who havent tried biking arent qualified to slag it off frankly. In fact, i think everyone should have to try biking at least once...

Anyway, just tell your bloke that he can either put up with it, or bugger off and find someone else. Easy peasy.

I dont bother going out with girls who arent at least ok about bikes these days, its just not worth it. I would stick to girls who ride (i've never understood people who want to be pillions) but they are just too rare!

Zen Dog
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Current - '94 VFR750FR (Dead), '00 VFR800FI, '11 600 Hornet - Previous - '11 CBF125, '10 Street Triple R, '92 MZ ETZ301, '05 TTR250, NSR125R, KMX125, "Honda" Win
My bike trip around S.E. Asia 2010/2011

[Suzuki]

When I got my first bike 5 years ago I ended up breaking up with my girlfriend over it because she felt the same way as your b/f. Felt aweful at the time but it was the right decision.

I've now got a wonderful girlfriend who's a biker too! It's brilliant to be able to share our passion for biking. I wouldn't change things for the world!

Good luck for the weekend!
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<Simple> no I'm shaven Jon
<Simple> it is a big enough hole.. I'll leave it now
Ride: 1999 Suzuki GSXR600 (yellow/black) IRC: Stats - Relationship Map

[numark1]