Inappropriate things that people say.

[dodsi]

Have you ever said something completly inappropriate?

Ever dropped a right clanger?

I will start.

After making some coffee at work and handing it to one of my bosses another manager came along as she took a sip of the coffee. Whilst she was talking to this other manager she turns to me and says "That was hot I nearly had to spit it out" to which I replied... "I bet you say that to all the boys".

The initial look of shock and I thought I was fucked turned out both of the managers took it the right way and burst into fits of laughter.

But the initial reaction I thought "hmmm probably best not to have said that".

[karen_moomin]

Recently, while in India, something hilarious happened to someone we were travelling with.

We were round our guide's house in Udaipur. We are talking a proper Indian household here. We received a formal welcome where we get our heads dotted and flowers round our necks by our guide's wife and mother in law. Shake hands, make small talk. Lovely to meet you. What a beautiful dinner you have prepared for us. Thank you for having us in your home. Etc.

Debby, a georgie lady on the trip, asked our guide's mother in law if she was pregnant...it turned out she was just a well fed Indian.

Talk about embaressing moment! For everyone else too!

Luckily everyone saw the funny side.

[dodsi]

Thats why I would rather see a pregnant girl stood up on the bus than a fat girl sat down crying.

[LustyLew]

My recent 'faux pas' was to one of my work colleagues.

He's a big black dude from Nigeria. He was moaning about his old job working at PC World, saying how crap the pay was.

My response was:

"Pay peanuts... You get monkeys..."

I was hoping the ground would swallow me. I'm so glad he saw the funny side of it.
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Like a Yorkie - I'm not for the girls

[karen_moomin]

[killa]

My first job at an electrical contractor….

They started off as a small shop but now they provided services over a large part of the UK, ran by a guy who was seriously over weight.
He founded the place back in the 50’s I think.
One day an announcement came over the speaker for everyone to go down to the accounts office, I was a little late getting up but manage to get in with another colleague. As I came in the door, there was utter silence and some miserable faces, I whispered loud enough for around 5 or more people to hear “Shit, who died?”.

The managing director had.
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Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
Bike:- Yamaha TRX850 | Killas Biking History | Killas Gaming History | Killas autmotive history

[headlamp]

Last week I was at a party with people I haven't seen for about 10 years. I was talking to one guy who has an identical twin & that they don't get on very well. I remembered one was/is a paparazzi photographer and the other a mini cab driver. I didn't know which twin it was...so I said "are you still doing photography?" to which the reply was, "That's my brother - I am still mini-cabbing"
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Using a mobile phone while driving a car should be made a capital offence!

[Flip]

I have a habit of saying to miserable looking people "Who's died"?

I can think of 3 occasions where it was a family meber or friend.

[MattyB]

mum and i were shopping in a very multicultral shopping center a few months back, after buying our chicken from the chicken butchers, our bread from the bakery, and all our other stuff, we needed red meat
so we went to a butchers, got some lamb, some silverside (all the time, oblivious to the turkish and islamic signs all over the shop), then mum asks "don't you sell pork, i really need some bacon"
the old turkish ladie gave us the worlds dirtiest look, then almost threw the bag of lamb at us. we decided it was time to go home!

[Skunkcap Freddie]

[MattyB]

no, i should respect their beliefs

i wasn't being racist, it was just a story.

each to their own. i'd be offended if i worked in a butchers and someone asked for Blue Heeler, or Domestic Cat eye fillet.

[Barry_M2]

I was out one night with a mate in a pub, when his sister and her husband walk in. I shake hands with said husband and say...

"So, when's the baby due" looking over at his Mrs (my mates sister)

Only to hear the reply,

"She had it 3 weeks ago!".

Oops!

[NSR125-Kid-UK]

I didn't say it, but I knew a friend of a co worker's friend's boss who witnessed it. It's customary to offer condolences when you hear news of someone's passing, i.e. "i'm sorry" - not customary of course, but it's important to make that clear to people.
Apparently this person came through to her call center and said "my husband has just died" (It was RSPCA or something), and apparently the call center person says "I apologise" Instead of "I'm sorry" WHAT?!
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https://www.bikepics.com/members/nsrandy/96rs250/ My Bike!

"I'm either going to teach andy to get his knee down, or I'm going to get him killed. One of the two" - Teaman

[msgander]

"was only pulling your leg".............to a guy who had artificial leg.....

was innocent remark but myself and colleague nearly choked trying to hold in the laugh........
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Always believe that your guardian angel flies a bit faster than you...............

[tatters]

A few years ago me my mum and my sister were visting two of my mums freinds who were a gay male couple in cornwall, while there my sister was winding me up by poking me in the arm so l turn around to her in front of these gay blokes and shouted out "Stop being so fucking gay"


Blank looks all around
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Past:NRG50,AF1125(x2),NSR125RR,ZZR250,CX500,VFR400,KR1S,ZZR600(x2),CB400N,YZF1000(x2),KH125,Z200,FX400R,CBR954RR(x2)GPZ500S,GT550,VFR750F(x2),RD350N,XR650R,CBR600F,CB250,KDX250,YZF750R,CRM250,400EXC,KLR650,TTR600RE,DR350S,R100GSPD,RGV250,VMAX1200,DL650,KZ750 Present:G650XC,C12,CRF450X,1190ADV

[sanchezz_182]

yup
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no sig, thats gay!!

[numark1]

That reminds me of when i was at boarding school. One of the guys who's area was opposite me, mum had died a few years ago of cancer and he said something to me and i said yeh your mum (when all the kiddies used to say it )

On of my mates had a fight with someone. This guy said something to him and he said something stupid like i fucked your mum last night. He said she was dead and rob said yeh i know i dug her up.

It was pretty sick but fucking hillarious. ( i think the guy was makin it up anyway)

[riichy]

the worsed i did was...

me..can i have some mayo please..
mates mum.. sorry richard we are all out, i will have to make some for tea..

me ....tims out of the loo.. could you be quick please

she found the funny side to it
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.......... PLOD ............ zx636 2004

[Wooly R6]

best i did was insult my girlfriend

my girlfriends sister asked how old you had to be to go to slimming world, as my girlfriend used to go with her mate

i piped up

you dont have to be any age do you you have to be FAT!!!

went down like a fart in a lift!!!!!
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R6 has been sold - 2004 Honda VFR VTEC now sold too - no bike at the moment

[flat spot]

Was at a rare family get together a while ago and my Dad was on the phone to an old family friend. It was his birthday and we were all shouting happy birthday etc across the room, when suddenly my Sister breaks ye olde birthday song.......

Happy Birthday to you,
I went to the zoo,
I saw a fat monkey
and I thought it was you.

Milliseconds after finishing the last word she remembered that he is in fact a fat bastard.

[Crazy Manx Man]

Hey, I've seen you out and about, your cute.....but your hair style has always reminded me of Lassie.

[cqueen]

[cc123]

I made a big boob not long after starting my new job back last year...

We use a software program called Ellipse...Me...I just couldn't grasp what it was called the first few week I was there and kept referring to it as El-lisp. Just so happens my Team Leader has a LISP!! I'm guessing thats why he hates me now!



Also, at my old job a card was being passed about for the receptionist who's dad had just passed away. My team mate, not looking at the front of the car wrote 'All the Best, have a great time' thinking it was a birthday card!!
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Old bikes >>> https://www.bikepics.com/members/cc123/

[rK@NE]

When I used to work in a shop I once asked a one armed man if he'd like a hand (packing his bags)

Thankfully he saw the funny side of it

[PsychoHippy]

When I was doing my trade training in the RAF, our PTI was a chap called Paul Hull. Now Paul played rugby for England (full back if I remember correctly), so when we had a PT session with him, we usually ended up playing rugby.

Now, on this one particular occasion, Paul had called me offside (I wasn't!) and without thinking I turned to him and said 'Come on staff, play the white man!' - unfortunately Paul was over 6 foot tall and as black as the ace of spades! The git had me running laps of the pitch for the rest of the PT session
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I spend all my money on bikes and beer, the rest I simply waste!