Some moustachioed f*cker tried to rob my gaff!

[danzai66]

My landlord had come round because our washing machines was pissing water all over the floor.

the door buzzer to our flat goes, so he buzzes, who he thinks is the repairman, into the communal hallway downstairs without talking to him through the intercom first.

a few seconds later there seems to be a commotion coming from downstairs. The landlord and I go down to see this lad in a hoody in our communal hall way trying to push open the front door of the old couple who lives downstairs.

We're all a bit shocked. He's like a trapped animal...but a strangely slow one. He turns back towards the main door and eventually gets it open before legging it off down the road.

We go down to the end of the footpath to see where he's got to and see him casually sauntering along about a hundred yards away.!

cheeky fucker.

the thing that gets me is that the old couple who live downstairs are in their 90's and the old fella fought in D Day.

He doesn't need some fucking chancer giving him a heart attack.

TBH i was horribly hungover at the time and nearly keeled over from a sudden rush of adrenaline. I even had my kickboxing pants on at the time (although they are my 'indoor chav pants' to be honest - haven't raised a leg in anger for years now).

He must have been on something too. He was trying to open a door by pushing on it with both hands...unless he was trying to be cunning i suppose..

thinking about it now makes me to:
A.crack open the daily mail with aplomb and nod vigorously.
B. bring back flogging/the empire.
C. go and give the old fella a hug and tell him that he's safe really.

when he's not.

gah.

...and he had a fucking dirty sanchez tache. jeesus.
(the perp that is, not the old dude....)

rant ranted.
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Ridey, riding a Black '08 CBR600RR

[Delvard]

I've got to be honest, I would loved to have read somewhere in all that....
So we gave him a good kicking. Too good a kicking infact. we killed him and had to find somewhere to dump the body.
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A thing of beauty is a joy for ever: Its loveliness increases; it will never Pass into nothingness; but still will keep A bower quiet for us, and a sleep Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing.

[Gazdaman]

My and my housemate went out into the garden because I saw a bloke in there. (Already had my motorbike and pushbike stolen (got them both back)).

Ran out, baseball bat in hand ready to batter some little shit. Turned out he was middle aged and looking for someone who just broke into his car and went garden hopping to get away.

I hate scum like that. If I ever catch someone on my property (or on anyone elses property where they're not welcome) I'm laying the smack down.

Gaz

[zaknafien]

If you try and steal some of my stuff and I catch you, expect lot's of pain.

It really is that simple.
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02 Firestorm.

[NSR Mick]

https://www.thefucksociety.com/forum/images/smilies/bat.gif Every good home should have one.
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If you dont like the way that I ride.......Stop trying to keep up!!!

[Rookie]

[danzai66]

as much as i'd like to have kicked his head in there was a few factors:

A: hangover. would have probably barfed on him. not very chuck norris.

B: he might have stabbed me to death... this is london after all.

C: they would probably lock me up for proving that he had 'a good reason' to be lurking in my house.

D:he knows where i live. hence he would have probably come back with a scum bag army of the night and burned me out of house and home.

.. now where's that beretta 686 (multichoke sporting) shotgun i used to own...


mike judge - he of beavis and butthead - once said that he would like to write a film about the last intelligent man left on earth being deluged by morons - shotgun in each hand ala 'evil dead' on top of a hill fighting for his life.

feel like that sometimes....
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Ridey, riding a Black '08 CBR600RR

[innominate]

[map]

The one good thing about America - the 2nd amendment.
The best anti-theft device I can think of
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...and the whirlwind is in the thorn trees, it's hard for thee to kick against the pricks...
Gibbs, what did Duckie look like when he was younger?

[Gazdaman]

[headlamp]

Whilst on the subject my son (16 years old - 5'10" - 11stone) told me that someone tried to mug him and a mate on Saturday. He said an 18 year old 'pikey' came up to him and asked him for a cigarette, and my son feeling generous of spirit gave him one. The pikey then asked for money. My son said he did not have any on him - the pikey then demanded the money with menaces - give me the money or I'll do you...so my son pretends to reach into his back pocket, twisting before unleasing a steel toe capped Dr. Marten into said pikey's groin, using a technique known as a roundhouse kick that I had shown him a few years ago. They then left the said pikey writhing on the floor - where he probably stayed for a while!

Being a 'responsible' parent I naturally shared my concerns with him about the dangers of street crime and then rewarded his efforts with a fiver so he could go and buy some more fags!!
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Using a mobile phone while driving a car should be made a capital offence!

[danzai66]

[carlnicholson...]

Twice now I have gone into my garden to find my shed door swinging open. The padlock doesn't get locked as I've lost the key, but theres nout in it anyway.

I'm now making a point of leaving it unlocked, in the hope that the little fucker tries his luck again while I'm at home.

I can't tolerate people fucking with my personal property, it's just an insult to think that they can just take something that you have worked for. If I catch the fucker, he will learn to change his ways.

We should all make a point of sorting out thieving scum bags, as the law won't do anything about it. The lad caught with my stolen bike got a £200 fine, and thats it! What the fuck did that teach him? "I can steal a £800 motorbike, and the worst that will happen is I have to pay £200 for it!"

The law regarding theft is just a joke.

Rant over!
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"THOSE WHO RISK NOTHING, DO NOTHING, ACHIEVE NOTHING, BECOME NOTHING."

[headlamp]

[killa]

Perhaps go and have a word with the old dude, he might like it.
Feeling safe is better than knowing your not I guess.
Let him know you are there, and I can imagine if you hear anything again you’d be on the phone to the cops and down the stairs with a plank in your hand.

“He must have hit his head officer”


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Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
Bike:- Yamaha TRX850 | Killas Biking History | Killas Gaming History | Killas autmotive history

[McGee]

[Barry_M2]

[bazza]