True love....

[killa]

My missus had her appraisal yesterday, and a nice little pay increase with it, it was also her sisters birthday last night so we met a few friends down the pub for a double celebration . It’s gold cup week in Cheltenham as well so the pubs were lively, I wasn’t feeling too well after the dinner I had so at about 11:30 I went back to the flat, my missus and her sister stayed for a while longer, they said they might go into town.
So I skinned up and had a relaxing smoke with my mate, his missus was there as well, we sat and watched a bit of TV.
15 minutes later the girlfriend and he sister came back from the pub, pretty pissed, they decided to have a few bevy’s at the flat.
My missus does have the odd toke on the reef now and then but she was quite wreaked by this time, she demanded the reef anyway and had a few tokes.
I didn’t realise after that she was really really wasted, she doesn’t usually mix the two together, she disappeared off with her sister for a bit so I left them to it, about 30 mins I decided to check on her…....whoa……she looked ill.

I had to send everyone home and put Liz went to bed, I sat with her for a bit, got her a drink and some tissue just in case, but then just as she was dozing off she woke up and started to be sick, it was in her mouth, but she couldn’t hold it in.
Earlier she had for dinner, some pasta and chicken and then at the pub she drank wine, you know what’s coming……

She puked all over the bathroom floor, skirting boards, the shower curtain, and in the sink.
She stumbled past me in the hall way afterwards and got into bed, so then I opened the door to see the damage.
I knew what I had to do, my flat mate would see this in the morning and moan like a bitch also it would have dried out, so In true Pulp Fiction style I got to work straight away on the mess, Vanish spray, two cloths and hot water.
First I sorted the chunks (by hand) which were the deepest red colour, then I soaked the stained areas in Vanish spray, this had to work I thought, I was tired and needed sleep, not to mention I was very stoned and I didn’t feel so good because of food I had eaten.
The scrubbing on the floor seemed to go on forever, it was working though, and I was making good progress. A bit of wiping here and there and I had the situation under control. I Set up a josstick in the front room, tided away some cans and wrappers and went to make a drink, a bit of a smirk on my face because I had sorted the mess and could go to bed now.

I hear the bedroom door open along with the sound of sick escaping lips at high speed , I just stayed in the kitchen (smirk had gone) while she puked for all her worth.
She closed the bedroom door behind her and I peaked round the corner into the hallway. She’d got it on the floor just inside the bedroom, she had trailed it through the hall, then into the bathroom which was this time much much worse. I looked round the door to the sink which was now blocked with blood red liquid and pasta chunks stopping it drain away.
I put the drink down and got back to work, using the same method I had the bathroom sorted out quickly, I delved into the sink and poked the chunks down the sink so the water could escape.
The hallway and bathroom got the same treatment, while trying not to wake her up I had to move some items to get to the stains with little light on the operation. Then I noticed she had got a good load on the light switch and the wall surrounding it, this I hadn’t dealt with before, but attacked it with similar technique.

Finally 2.15am tired, feeling ick, I get into bed with only one pillow (she had the other) and a small pink blanket thing she sometimes sits in front of the TV with.
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Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
Bike:- Yamaha TRX850 | Killas Biking History | Killas Gaming History | Killas autmotive history

[Rookie]

Slap her good and proper.

I had to do the same once actually. Had a house party, 2 people decide to have a drinking contest. Inevitably they both throw up; one decides to go into the garden, that's fine by my. The other one projectile vomits over the bathrooom floor, the bath, and the sink and the walls. H'es had 12 or 15 shots of god knows what, but had eaten some sausages from the barbeque earlier. Picking up tiny pieces of meat from your bathroom floor for 20 minutes is enough to get me rather pissed off.

[hellkat]

Nice.

*heaves*

LOL
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[hellkat]

I wont clean up anyone's chunder.
Otherwise I end up chundering myself.

Last week at work, some dirty wanker had done a shit at the bottom of the stairs to the upstairs flat overnight, and I could not be having punters walking up and down past it all day, so I had to sweep it away with lots of bleach and hot water.

My boss, who was working in the downstairs flat was feeling a bit seedy anyway, so I knew I HAD to do it. So I cleaned it up, retching and heaving all the way thru ... whilst she sat inside the downstairs flat listening to me and retching and heaving herself. She threw up (managed to make it to the khazi) ... and I didn't. But only just, and only cos I didnt want to have to clean up me own chunder as WELL.
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[innominate]

heheheh


I remember the time I made 4 out of 8 of my housemates all whitey (including my girlf) at the same time.

Had people collapsed all around the house, generally all quite hardcore smokers so they made it to the lav/windo/bucket in time.

Bit of a pain trying to climb over people lying in the stairs moaning though.



On teh cleaning side, if you are stoned and start to do some unpleasent housework, you actually get into it and carry on. Its just eh starting to do it in the first place that causes the problems.

Been years since I last whitey', must try harder...
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I, as a responsible adult human being, will never concede the power to anyone to regulate my choice of what I put into my body, or where I go with my mind. From the skin inwards is my jurisdiction, is it not? I choose what may or may not cross that border. Here I am the customs agent. I am the coast-guard. I am the sole legal and spiritual government of this territory, and only the laws I choose to enact within myself are applicable.

[killa]

I've only ever gone green from smoke twice in 8 years of smoking it.

Once i eat a whole yorkie bar then had a bucket in the sink, i then watched my mate play sonic 3D on the Dreamcast, at the point where the dolphns jump over the bridge and he span 360 degrees i crawled to the back door and chundered.

The other time was when i was when this girl i knew called me up and asked me to go over and 'sort her out' just after i'd had a MASSIVE bucket. It didnt help that she had never slept with anyone before and i'd be the first.
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Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
Bike:- Yamaha TRX850 | Killas Biking History | Killas Gaming History | Killas autmotive history

[innominate]

If you can ever find any, get some "PowerPlant"

Guarenteed to send you completely loopy.
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I, as a responsible adult human being, will never concede the power to anyone to regulate my choice of what I put into my body, or where I go with my mind. From the skin inwards is my jurisdiction, is it not? I choose what may or may not cross that border. Here I am the customs agent. I am the coast-guard. I am the sole legal and spiritual government of this territory, and only the laws I choose to enact within myself are applicable.

[veeeffarr]

Lol... I remember being completely twatted with my ex girlf, and she decided she was going to be sick... She managed to get it all in this bucket, so I was walking round the house completely pissed, and I swear my housemate said "Throw that shit in the bath man, it'll fuck the loo up", so I did.

Turns out he didn't.

Ended up having half a house laugh their tits off of at my while I tried to poke bits of stomach lining down the plughole, imagine putting vom through a tea strainer...

Bath was cleaner afterwards than it was before tho, stomach lining much be good at shifting limescale.

[xlizx]

I pulled a whitey during my GCSE's, my ex bf and another ex who was his mate decided to made some Space Yogurts because my asthma's always beena bit too bad to smoke and all. He made them when we were in the other room, and didn't realise he had a bit of an axe to grind against me being with his mate instead of him...needless to say, turns out I had 1/8 to myself split into two, was horribly ill for three days and mildly ill for the rest of the week. Was projectile vomitting green sludge everywhere, passing out, and having crazy dreams that I was at war in the Normandy landings....
At my 16th and 17th birthday parties I got hideously drunk and threw up everywhere as did everyone else. At one point I was on the loo and my mate was sick between my legs. Nice
Oh, and I picked up some chunks of apple from the punch she'd eaten then thrown up on the floor WITH BARE HANDS because I was drunk and didn't realise.
Stomach lining's bound to be pretty acidic, limescale's alkaline, so yeah it prolly would help clean your bog

[veeeffarr]

All I need to do now is hire a live in bulimic then.

[akaDAVE]

It is possibly the worst feeling in the world.
My girlfriend did the same not long ago.
I ended up sitting in the bathroom with her lying on the floor for 2 hours 'don't touch me! don't touch me!" and vomiting every 2 minutes.
I lasted until 2.30am then it was time for a cold wet tea towel on the face and "come on pull your fucking socks up" - dragged her to bed with a bucket before she knew what was happening.
(Give them too much pity and they start to play up for it.)

I have 'turned' a few times and at worst my mate described me as a 'transparent grey', shortly before I tried to stand up, passed out and fell backwards down 15feet of concrete steps headfirst.
I hate vomiting so much I just refuse to which probably doesn't help.
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GSXR600

[feef]

it's amazing what you can accomplish when pissed sometimes

I remember overdoing it at a female friend's house while her parents were out for the night.

ended up blowing chunks into the kitche sink, and blocked it. :S

i could hardly stand, but I still managed to empty the cupboard under the sink, undo the plastic piping, unblock it all, drain away the puke and washing up water into a basin and throw it into the garden, and reassembled it all without a problem.

Apparently her mum was wondering why she'd tidied the cupboard the next day

a
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Mudskipper wrote: feef, that is such a beautiful post that it gave me a lady tingle
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[McGee]

When drunk I become invincible and think I can dance

Also last time I chugged some voddie I nearly died the next day
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Its pronounced Jixxer!

[Dazbo666]

Quite some years ago (more than I care to remember) I had a pretty bad self inflicted experience at my parents house.
I'd had a few college/uni friends over, for a birthday or Christmas drink I believe... and basically hit the Southern Comfort and orange pretty hard.

By the end of the night, I vaguely remember running thru the kitchen with one hand over my mouth, about to puke. Didn't quite get in to the bathroom before the puke overwhelmed my hand and squirted all over the bathroom door just as I was opening it. Then another "wave" of the stuff across the bathroom floor, and by the time I got to the toilet the "heaves" had just about finished.
I attempted to clean up, but was in such a state that I could hardly focus to see what I was doing. I was also so tired that I decided to try to get to bed.


BIG mistake, cos I apparently puked again on the way up the stairs, which to this day I can't remember.

I basically woke up the next morning with a terrible hangover, a disgusting smell in my room, and some questionable stains on the carpet and sheets.


I was laying there wondering what had happened when my father opened the bedroom door and asked if I'd had a heavy night... I obviously couldn't deny it because of the state of the room, but he says "I know, cos we've spent all morning cleaning your 'calling cards' from the stairs, the walls and the bathroom


I've had one or two "episodes" since, but that Southern Comfort night was by far the worst
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1st bike (Sept'06 - May'10) : 1991 GPZ500S / Current bike (since Nov 2009) : 2003 Suzuki Bandit 600N
Word of the day : DILLIGAF

[Hex]

I hope you took photos to show her and make her realise just how good you are to her.
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The BCF's very own Party boy! Though he's getting old and feeling it!
Monkey hanger, Born and bred
My little photo portfolio

[numark1]

I hardly ever get sick unless im pissed and get in a car. Was sick once at a house party in denmark and passed out, had drunk loads at a club then went back to this house party (didn't know who's as i didn't speak the lingo) anyway i drank almost a litre bottle of wodka.

Was sick all over this persons wooden floors which stained. got up the next morning and left pretty sharpish.

been really sick and ill from base before, from the come down. lasted a few days.

[TOM M]

The last time i got absolutly hammered was just a couple weeks ago, i was challenged to try and sink 40 cans of strongbow before the end of the weekend. On friday i did 14 and was fairly pissed but nothing too major, i was aware of what i was doing etc.
Saturday i woke up early and started getting to work on them early, about 10ish and carried on throughout the evening, i managed to drink 22 cans and i somehow passed out in a hedge in front of our uni halls and i awoke on sunday with the worst hangover ever covered in snow and frost.
Never again
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Now owner of a 1200 Bandit

[cagiva gezzer]

At least when i was a student we were prepared for this. They only cost 99P and they save sooo much hassle.

https://www.office365.co.uk/im/pim/47002X.jpg

Always a bad move clearing up sick before they've got it all out.
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"because one stroke isnt enough and four strokes waste two"

[hellkat]

Cheaper than the wastepaper baskets people always used to be throwing-up into round my place. It cost me a fortune to keep replacing posh wastepaper baskets till I realised I just had to put an old Tesco bag in as a liner. Then if someone was throwin a whitey, I'd just hand em a wastepaper basket (amidst much hilarity) and direct em out the front door with instructions to remove the Tesco bag and put it in the bin.

ATM I dont have that problem cos we aren't allowed men or parties at my place, LOL, so I have to go to other people's houses

Suppose I could start throwing up in THEIRS instead ...
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[Fast Jon]

[JonB]

The worst situation I have ever come across was on a trip to Rome with some mates, we went for 5 nights and for the first 3 I had been wrecked everynight so I thought I should lay off the drink for a night. I did and at about 1.30 3 of my room mates came in pissed as hell, it was really funny at that point until my mate Ian who is a touch over 20 stone (in fat) threw up all over his bed, then I (5ft8, 11 stone) had to drag him, somehow to the toilets where he puked in the sink and on the bathroom floor. This was bad.

Next my mate Dan who never pukes up started to be sick, thankfully in a random bucket that was lying in the room (I managed to get a few pisstake photos at this point) and so I wasn't too bothered about that. Stupidly enough Ian had gone back to sleep on the bed when I heard him coughing and spluttering again so I dragged him out and literally threw him into the bathroom where he was sick in the sink (DUMB BASTARD) again. my mate Jamie who was quite pissed said he'd help me clear some of the sick out of the sink, but as I put my hand into a sink half full with sick (and pasta WTF :s) to clear out the plug, Jamie puked HUGE amounts on to my fucking arm! And so I was now caked in the crap, I eventually cleared out the sink and went to bed at 5, for the next two days the room stank of puke and too make matters worse fat ian done a huge shit in the toilet which inevitably blocked it.
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Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it?s worth.

[numark1]

Coffee granules clears the smell of sick.

Another good sick story, was in portugal last summer. Been to a few clubs with my mate, sister and her mate. My dad came to pick us up about 4:30 in the morning and i was sat in the middle. Had way too much to drink possibly 15 pints and on the way back told my dad to pull over because i was gonna be sick.

He pulled over quickly and i annaliese (my sisters friend) tried to open the door and get out, however i was leaning on her seatbelt so she couldn't get out in time and inevitebly i was sick all over her.

[The View Askew]

Me and 2 mates went up to guildford for the night, between 2 of us me and my mate ben drank a bottle of voddy not to mention numerous beers. I was borderline paraletic, i was in the middle of a field in the dark with a HOARD of people, barely able to see, lumbering in circles wishing to lay down and die on the grass, whilst being smacked in the back of the head every time i turned round. I could not even attempt to defent myself, let alone even SEE which cunt was hitting me.

That night i slept in the field next to the river. by a tree near the riverbank, with 2 others. ben and will. huddled arms around for warmth without a clue where we were or a brain cell between up.
I was awoken at roughly 4 in the morning by the sound of shouting, a tramp was waking us, we awoke, ben threw up all over the guy's shoes. he got annoyed, vastly, and we made off slowly up the stairs across the road up to the high street. proceeded to wander though guildford until the earliest train, (about 6:30-7:00)
got to ash station in the freezing morning, tired with an aching from hell all over me, walked home, got into bed, and went into hibernation.
























Didn't even get lucky that night, waste of time.
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"Do what you always did, get what you always got"