I want to shag other girls.

[Runaway987]

Heres the story.

Met a girl at 16.

Still with girl at 21.

It is "love", i love her to bits and we have the best times ever, except. She doesnt turn me on anymore, she comes in the room and I couldnt care less, I look at her more and more as a best friend and less of a sexual partner. We still have good sex, we are both still fit and young and are good in the sack, its just when you have done something, in every way, in every orifice countless times... My mind is wandering.

I dont know what to do. We have always had this policy of openess about everything and we have never ever had a serious argument or had a "break". Even when we do occasionally fight we make up again straight away because we are just 2 softies. I dont want to break her heart though or to make her feel terrible like she has done something wrong.

The way I see it is this I can either;

A) Shut up and put up, the grass is always greener on the other side. [Dont say anything and carry on and enjoy what I have]

B) Try and explain I need something more in the bedroom, maybe a 3some or something or just a couple of one night stands with other girls to "get it out my system"

C) Not tell her because I dont want to hurt her, I truly believe its just something i need to "get out of my system". She wouldnt know and I would still be the loving partner. Though I would probably feel really guilty.

Any experience with these situations you lot? Advice, help needed.

[Gti]

[lozzypop1]

[Runaway987]

Good point.

[Visitor Q]

Hell ive just had to end it with my GF for pretty similar things.

Once you get the itch, you either scratch it or float around miserably.

I choose to end it before that happens.

Its a real shame tho
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[flat spot]

Tricky one this But Uncle BCF's here to help.

Wanting to shag about is natural, but it'll never really be "out of your system" as you put it. Nature makes the decision for you. Old people aren't attractive, except to each other, and even then.......

The grass isn't greener on the other side, it's just green.

To find someone who you have the best times with after so long is rare. It's worth trying to save IMO. I think you need to "spice" up your sex life as opposed to going elsewhere for it. I think a 3some is out of the question. I wouldn't bother mentioning that unless you get any indication she'd be up for it. Some fantasies are best left just that.

The thing is she may be feeling the same so it's time to talk. I don't mean sit down turn off the telly and say "I think our sex life is shit"
Subtlety is the key here. If she suspects you've been unhappy for a while it'll really ruin things and may result in having sex being uncomfortable situation.

There are quite a few things you can do to liven up your sex life. Perhaps you should decide whether you want to be with her before we go down that avenue.

[zaknafien]

Just start dropping subtle hint's if you want something a bit different.

Work's for me.
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02 Firestorm.

[yambabe]

[Runaway987]

Thanks for the replies guys, I certainly wouldnt take it well if she wanted to split up. Like I said shes an integral part of my life at this stage and I would be feel very lonely without her. I'm not looking for another proper relationship. It's just I have been a good BF for 5 years and Im now wondering on what I am missing out on.

Admittedly half my mates are missing the fantastic support and love that I have from my gf, but they are meeting new girls every week it seems. Im scared I will get to 30, split up with my current gf [for whatever reason] and realise i am no longer attractive and cant pull fit ladies...

My life has settled into studying and "Who is making dinner tonight babe?". I want to feel my heart racing again, I want to feel shy and nervous I have forgotten how to flirt

I think I might try the "no sex for a month" or something, we have done all the toys [except on me ] and stuff. We kinda did "everything" there is to do around the 17 yo mark...

[mrchips]

What about getting her a PVC nurse costume or something?

Either that or tell her you want to go on a break and ride all round you for a while, then get back with her.
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[Paul@125power]

I was in the same situation a while back. We talked about it and it came to the point that because we are too much alike and things started to settle into a routine and it was starting to get a bit boring. Even though we still loved each other, we needed something out of the norm. I started to do the same thing, my eyes started to wonder, but it was just because I was looking for something out of the normal.

Do something different together that you usually never do or never thought of doing. It doesn't have to be sexual. It could be as simple as booking into a hotel room for the night just to get a change in environmet or even try a different place to go and have dinner. Then see how you feel, I can almost promise you will have a good time. It worked for me
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[farmer giles]

do the no sex for a month thing-i'd reccomend it highly me and my g/f do it sometimes and we are tearing each others clothes off at the end...works really well also i took her out and bought her a nurses outfit-quality!
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the tricky bricky

[msgander]

problem with anyone you are likely to spend large amounts of time with is that it can get stale, you cant go on swapping your girl each time you get bored lol (although I am sure Bonnie Ricardo would disagree!).

If this girl is right for you in every other way, and you get on....I'd just chat with her, tell her how much she means to you, make it clear you want to be with her, but just say it was on your mind. Its probably on hers....

Better to chat and work at it together than to do something daft and kick yourself for the rest of your life
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Always believe that your guardian angel flies a bit faster than you...............

[Katie]

How can you say, "I don't want to hurt her" and "I'll sleep with someone else, get it out of my system and not tell her" in one sentence?

The best thing you can do is talk to her about it, express how you're feeling in the best way possible and see what comes up. You may find she has been feeling the same but hasn't wanted to say anything. I do NOT recommend you suggesting you sleep with a couple of other girls to make you feel better. Unless you want to break her heart and then break up. Seriously, my mouth actually fell open when I read that. To be honest it seems to me like you don't love her, how else could you be considering those things, or even thinking that they are acceptable?

If you want to keep the relationship going, then the only thing you can do is talk to her about it.
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Never have a row with an Idiot, they drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

[colin1]

You may be able to pull other girls but they may not be as good as what you have got.

You are young so Id suggest ending it and pulling a few girls before you settle down.

However you will probably miss having the security of being in a relationship as comfy and cosy as that.

The decent thing to do would be to end it and then go pull birds. The selfish and more practical thing to do would be to only end it when you are pulling birds and know you wont have a dry spell.
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colin1 is officially faster than god

[xlizx]

Wow, there's so many good replies on this thread that I've used like, 4 karma ratings on it alone. Very thought-provoking stuff.
Ok, well, threesome....why?! Not sure you'd like it much if she turned around and said she wanted to see you get it on with another guy in front of her to get her off....so many guys harp on about the joys of threesomes, but if the boot was on the other foot, I doubt ANY of them would get with a guy. Equal opportunities and all. And on the other hand, how can involving another person in a sexual relationship that you seem to be discontent with be a good idea? It's like, you've got a soup, and it's cooking away, and just as it starts to burn, you add some weird ingredient that makes it taste even worse and ruins the whole pot. Just my two pennies worth personally I don't feel theres any place for a threesome in a perfectly stable, loving relationship if you're in one.
If you love someone but are bored, then go to Ann Summer's. Or, failing that because its a) tacky b) badly made c) poorly designed d) expensive, get some lingerie off the net. Check out some erotic literature. Get her to lapdance for you. Tie each other up, damnit! Rent out a hotel room and have a night of doing whatever you want. Keep a diary of all your fantasies and discuss them with each other. Man, there's so much you can do to spice up a 'boring' bedroom.
If you really love her, give it a shot. If the issue is that you'd rather be out being a single man, then just tell her you don't want to be with her anymore. It'll hurt her a lot less than if you get drunk and cheat, or something else happens.

[Runaway987]

Thanks again for the replies

Mr chips.

Yeah, she has some nice outfits already. The problem is finding the effort on both sides to get her into them.

Paul-125.

Thanks man, It's heartening to know you two are ok now.

Farmer giles.

Yeah, pre-"talk" im thinking of going down the break or 1 month no sex, try no sex first see how it goes.

Sticky
I agree 100%

Katie.

I dont want to hurt her, its dirty but cheating on her one time and not telling her wouldnt be hurting her, but as I said id probably feel guilty as hell. Other than that I am what I am. Thanks anyway.

Colinwall

I wouldnt use her like that, I mean if I were going to cheat on her the one time or something its through the desire to preserve the relationship I have with her... I guess though thats the excuse all guys use...

xLizx

We already have had a 3some when we were 16 with a friend of mine, except it was cut short when he had an accident after all of 5 minutes. The situation was there though.
[quote]"how can involving another person in a sexual relationship that you seem to be discontent with be a good idea?"[quote]
Because it would make her different, maybe not her but itd be a different situation.
fantasies... I fantasise about other women and threesomes !!!

I dont want to be a single guy because Id miss her sooo much but I do want to be single because I want to have some ladies before I die :'( confused....



Thanks to all, keep the opinions rolling in.

[illusion]

IMO you are too young for a long term relationship. Get out there and see what is about.
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My bike

[Visitor Q]

[biker-dj]

[tokarev]

Whats wrong with having a wank over one of the many sexy women on the internet every once while....get it out of the system. hahaha.

[Katie]

First of all ...

Runaway, she would find out chick. I'm sorry but you're thinking of cheating on her, and the only thing that's stopping you is how it would make you feel bad! C'mon! Whether she found out or not, is not the point. It's the act alone. Is it really worth risking, not only ruining your relationship, but it finishing with her hating your guts? Think how you would feel if it were the other way around ....

Bonny, because it's dishonest. And that will tear a relationship apart. I'm not saying he should tell her like that. He should just explain that he wants to be with her, but feels like the sexual side of thier relationship has lost it's spark. They could talk together about how they feel is the best way to try and put it back there, or to deal with the situation.

I just cannot believe men sometimes. I don't think you'd see it the same if it was your Girlfriend saying, "Hey honey, feeling a bit bored, I'm gonna go out for a quicky with some hunk. See ya!"
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[Visitor Q]

[ash t]

www.swingingheaven.co.uk


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[bindy]

Lots of people have this problem. Maybe you should have a break for the sake of the relationship. Get a sex book. Get some pornos. She might be sick of you too you know and you just dont know it. You may find that if you cheat on her it wont be that good anyway, and the guilt that you would feel afterwards would be a lot worse than you think. Its not worth it. If you have love then thats great, the other stuff you can fix! believe me