Advice on getting on with it!

[MonkReadusuk]

COuldn't think of anywhere else to ask for advice as I tend to get a bit emotional in front of close mates and feel embarrased.

So last night my Girlfriend tells me its over, this has been brewing for a few weeks now and since the weekend, it has been a big concern, however now, its final. Her reasons were that she doesn't feel like we're suited anymore and theres a lot going on in her life that is getting in the way. SHe says she doesn't want a boyfriend for a while as she'd rather concerntrate on education etc. She's 18, im 21, we've been going out for 1.5 years now, and it was my first relationship and hers. I moved from my home in Portsmouth to Essex, to be nearer her, and am now living with her brother and a mate. I have got myself a nice job working at Liverpool Street Station and made a few new friends up here.

However, no we've split up, i don't know how to cope, everytime i see something that reminds me of her, I feel like breaking down. Its going to be awckward living with her brother, and she is really good mates with my other housemate. See'ing her is hard for me, and i usually get emotional, although i'm learning to control it now!

Anyway, i'd hate to give up my job and life in Essex, but am finding it very difficult to cope with it. Anyone have some advice on getting over her and getting on with life? I still love her to bits and always thought she was 'the one'. Should I wait around and hope she changes her mind, or should I get out there and find another girlfriend? Then again, I could always go back to how i was before, spending my time on bikes and online games, with my mates online!

Sorry for the crap, just needed somewhere to ask.

Many Thanks,
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-Monk-

[Barry_M2]

Find somewhere else to live, or else just tell her not to keep coming round when she know's your there.

Hay, I'm just 10 mins away from you in Barbican, come down and have a few beers, get slaughtered and forget about it all!

Seriously, I know its a shitter, I remember when my first g/f dumped me (13 years ago now), and I used to ride from Watford to Baisingstoke 3 times a week and stay all weekend, just to see her. I was gutted.

To be honest, dont worry about the 'other bloke' thing, thats not important. Once a chick makes up her mind like that, your stuffed, no matter what you try, and believe me, I tried! Best thing for you to do it start seeing your mates and going out with them more, it will be hard, but you'll gradually get used to not being an item, then you'll start hating her and wandering what you saw in her in the first place. I know it sounds silly, but you will get over her, but it just takes time.

You work in a great area of the City, I love walking down to Liverpool street in the summer, the amount of women down there is unreal!!!

Remember, beer is you friend.

[Spiral]

Stop thinking about her and start looking after yourself.

Do stuff you like like games, movies, sport ,bikes.

Stay away from drink/drugs ,the occasional pint is no harm but heavy drinking can lead to being to emotional and other things.

Don't go out with someone for a while give yourself some space i would give it a few months myself, in fact your best bet would be to wait till you meet someone you get on with rather than someone you want to shag for a while.

chin up mate things could always be worse.
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****NORTHERN IRELAND NEWSFLASH!!**** According to a recent survey, 94% of loyalists said the best sex they ever had was in the shower; the other 6% haven't been to jail yet.***

[LustyLew]

Sorry to hear the news mate.

I know the feeling. Like Barry said, one they've made their minds up, there's not much you can do.

Best thing to do it get out into the world, meet new mates, come out on a few BCF outings, May Day run etc.

I work just across the road from Liverpool St station, so perhaps a few of us should meet up fora few jars in Hamilton Hall?!

If you're going to find it tough living with her brother, take a look at gumtree, they always have flats, or even a room to let in a shared house. Could end up in a place with some lively charachters and that will certainly help get you back on track.

Get out there and enjoy yourself, you're still young!
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Like a Yorkie - I'm not for the girls

[illusion]

Sounds like a few of us work round there. I'm just round the corner on Brick Lane, I walk from Liverpool St station. We should organise a beer outing
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My bike

[colin1]

i dont know the details of your situation, but you may find she gets lonely not having a bloke and starts to want to have you around again.

I wdnt be too surprised if you end up moving to wherever she is going to uni.

On the other hand, sort yourself out, make yourself a good catch for girls, and see whats out there. Only problem is it will take a while to find someone you like as much.

Id agree cutting ties is probably a good idea so you dont have to see her for a bit. Might be good to find a new place, but if she agrees not to come round when you are there, that might be ok too.
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colin1 is officially faster than god

[Noggin]

Hi mate, I know exactly what you're going through. I split up with my girlfriend a couple of months ago now. We'd been going out 2 years. I used to travel up to guildford every few days and spend the weekends there. Then we split up because of similar reasons to you...

I followed the advice these guys have given, I started doing more of what I wanted to do, spending more time with my mates, spending time/money on the bike more. I've now completely moved on and have got a new girlfriend (2 weeks). I'm a lot happier and know that the split up was for the best. Even before the new girlfriend, I was happier.

I found that I was too mature for my ex, she wanted different things than me.

Just go and enjoy yourself, just don't go too far eh?

Take it easy, PM me if you want a chat on msn or somethin.


Craig G(Noggin)
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Current bike: kawasaki zx12r 2002
Track bike: yamaha r6 1998
Old Bike: honda NSR 125 1998

[MonkReadusuk]

[ZRX61]

[sickpup]

[IronMaiden]

Hate it when someone gets their heart broken!

**hugs from across the ocean**

Living with her brother can only make things harder on you.

My advice would be to try and find yourself other living arrangements a.s.a.p. and live life to the fullest! Oh to be 21 and single again.....freedom to do whatever you want! Go for it!

[Reevo8]

[illusion]

[MonkReadusuk]

Guys, i just want to say a big Thankyou to all of you. Lots more advice than i expected, really helping me big time.

Thanks !
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-Monk-

[msgander]

move somewhere she doesnt know.

CUT ALL TIES forever! (ok until you know you are truly over her)

Make your own life, put it down to experience and keep talking to people, you will need to vent........so dont be embarassed to do it.

Everyone has been there at some point and knows how shit it feels.

Good luck
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Always believe that your guardian angel flies a bit faster than you...............

[ZMT]

Like i said dude, come up and live with me!!! come to uni you know ya wanna!!! gotta waste your life doing something
Anyways nice to finally find where you been hanging out all this time, dont get to speak to you much since we moved from portsmouth.


First post here!!! w00t! :p :p

[MonkReadusuk]

Well, Just went out to the cinema with her, after holding back the emotion all the nite, saying goodbye at her door, couldn't keep it back any longer

Anyway, got home, spoke on Msn, both had a great nite, then this....
Monk -- said:

i know its not probably the best thing/time to talk about 'us' but do you ever think there maybe a future again?

Vixy* said:

matt i think about it alot, i just dont know, please i really dont know i hope so and i just think honestly yeh there will cause im just pants without monky, but just not right now, this matt and vicky jsut dont fit right now,

Am I fucked? or anyone think I have a chance? I have treid moving on, and still am trying. But after having a long hard think, shes the only one i ever want, perfect for me!

Yes you can all laugh at my nickname etc, and ZMT, I'll come visit soon if my bikes fixed ok!
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-Monk-

[ZMT]

Wow dude!!! thats soo harsh! i thought she was way cooler than that!
You are f*cked man! (sorry but i dont know much else to say)

Not sure if thats good news or not.
Did you go with just her or others?
Hows living with her brother going?


20Q! lol sry m8

[superstacker]

Mate, you are going to get tons of advice, and its up to you to take in what you want....

YOU are better then her, as much as it hurts you, you cannot let her think that she has this power over you, that you will always be chasing after her.

This is a great opportunity mate, a new fresh start....

Get yourself back out there, get down to next/burtons, and get yourself some new clobber.... then get out there and meet some new girls.

Time will heal this man (as will more sex)

[Silver]

[MonkReadusuk]

thanks for the replies so far. I'll keep trying to move on, but its still so hard to even think of another girl without feeling shit. Im trying my best to be happy without her, so she thinks i've moved on, wish the sodding girl would just realise how much she means to me and makes her fucking mind up
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-Monk-

[sickpup]

So theres a fair amount of us who live and/or work around the city and yet none of us has met yet?

[veeeffarr]

Come to Liverpool 'n I'll buy you a beer

[LustyLew]

[mrchips]

Give her the deleted treatment, delete her number/msn etc and get on with your life. I am the other way round and feel that breaking off with someone is always a big weight off your shoulders.
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Northern Irish? www.nibikers.com