Shake hands or batter to a pulp? (bit grissley be warned)

[jonboy22]

Long long story cut short...but you need a bit of background.

Went out with my ex for 4 and a bit years and it all ended a bit dramatically (boo hoo, yaddah yaddah worlds smallest violin and all that).

Anyhoo was pretty happy to crack on with life and remain good "friends". Untill three months ago when she started seeing a new guy for the first time since the split...

Hit me pretty hard at the time, but again, life goes on and I'm starting to see other people as well.

Just had lunch with her today and she announced that she's got engaged to this guy after three months!! Eh what!!? Plus the guy had just gone travelling for eight months (yes without her), great start to the engagement. Plus shes put money down to buy a house with him.

She's a special person, to me and in general, and she's got a tonne of issues that have take four years of discussion and understanding chats to semi set her right. She's still a bit wobbly but deserves all the happiness in the world.

Anyway yaddah yaddah soppy shit aside she said that she really wanted me to meet the guy and come to the wedding. Now he's already in my black book, just for being there, but this buggering off straight after asking her to marry him, just sounds like he's hedging his bets if you catch my drift.

SOO if I do meet him, in April (when he comes back through the UK for a week), should I just smile, say "well done "mate", you're onto a great thing there" give him a hug....or if I find out he is dicking her over....

Do I reach into his eye socket, with two fingers, use my thum in his ear and drag him to my shed like a bowling ball. Put his ankle bone into my vice until I hear a gentle pop, then drill through the centre, then repeat on the other side. Then thread some suitably strong cables through the holes and sting him up from the rafters. Once he's dangling it'd be easier to put a length (about 2 ft) of palstic drainpiping into his arsehole (without lube) about a foot in. I could then put a length of razor wire entwined with rusty barbed wire into the afformentioned plastic tube (still in his poop chute) and attach the other end to the rafters. Then quickly with a stanley knife extract a kidney or something else internally that will make him scream, and just as I think he can't scream any louder, grip the plastic tube and cut the cables to his ankles........

or do you think that might be a bit much....
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current bike: GSX-R 750 K6 stolen, found the next day in a van in Durham, returned to me 3 months later costing me my NCB and my excess...
last bike: GSXx-R 600 K4 - written off, now converting to track bike

[Mudskipper]

[Dazbo666]

[sickpup]

Have you told her yet you're still in love with her?

[TheShaggyDA]

8 months of travelling takes a while to set up, save for, get visas/injections etc. Perhaps this was set up before getting together with your ex?

I'd like to hear all 3 sides.
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Current: CB500 Previous: CB100N, CB250RS, XJ900F, GT550, GPZ750R/1000RX, AJS M16, R100RT, Enfield Bullet

[i:6e3bfc7581]But still I fear and still I dare not laugh at the madman...[/i:6e3bfc7581]

[jonboy22]

Valid points all around......

And no I'm not in love with her, I do still love her and always will, but it's a chapter in my life that is firmly closed, it closed when she gutted me like a fish over a year and a bit ago.

Fact of the matter is that you (people in general) will always retain or bear stronger feelings towards someone wtih whom you shared so much. After for years I thought about engagement but realised that she in way too much mental turmoil to settle down. Christ we even talked about engagement and the prospect of kids!!

Anyway you can understand that this kind of history with an individual will generally speaking amplify your other feelings towards things that happen to him or her.

Is it unreasonable of me to not want to meet him? Or is it unreasonable of me to want to be friends with her but not with him?

Bottom line, and this is a cheesy peas mushy mushy line, but I do want her to be happy, and if means getting married to this feral atheist freak, then so be it....but as I've made clear, if he cocks up,......strewth, I make myself shudder.......but as Mudskip said sometimes you have to let poeple make their own mistakes....

Right going home to test the strength of my rafters...
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current bike: GSX-R 750 K6 stolen, found the next day in a van in Durham, returned to me 3 months later costing me my NCB and my excess...
last bike: GSXx-R 600 K4 - written off, now converting to track bike

[jonboy22]

[m0l0t0v]

[Hooky]

A very difficult dillema John .but I really think you should let her get on with it.
It would not be wise to disscuss her new life with her parents, I wont use the word "backstabbing" but no good will come of it, you are far better off avoiding personall conversation at all costs.

How old is this lass ?.

People do very stupid things after a break-up , its like a death, the greif from a bad situation (including sick relatives) will cause loads of trouble for many years (moreso for someone that already has "issues"..

Just sit back and be a friend and help her when it all goes tits up ( it will )

I also thing you are in denial of you love for this girl , I guess you have not found the same feelings for anyone else since your break -up ??? > Still rivers run deep ! > go with the flow and dont cause ripples . OK

[lozzypop1]

[colin1]

[Handsome]

Dispite your feelings leave it well alone, she may not take kindly to what you have to say and see it as you interfering...

Just be there for her if/when it goes Tits Up, she needs to learn this one herself...
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Previous Bikes...Honda NSR 125 RR...Kawasaki Zephyr 550...Suzuki SV 1000 S...Yamaha FZ8...Current Bike...Suzuki GSX-R 750...

[Tarmacsurfer]

[bazza]

[sickpup]

[queen of string]

I think if you have a bit of a break then it is possible to go back later and be friends. I have found that the friendship side of what you had can be retained in a modified form if you both acted like grown ups during the split and it was mutual. I still talk to most of my ex's in a friendly fashion and exchange xmas cards and the like with one of them. I'm still in business with another one. It is hard, its not always possible or appropriate but if youre both over it, it can have a positive side in my experience.
edit, sorry that was a bit off topic, in the case stated I think you have to let her make her own mistakes , you've done everything you can to rescue her and now you have to stand back and see if she learnt anything from your efforts.
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"Eat food, not edible, food-like items. Mostly plants."

[DonTony]

Sounds to me like he's introduced her to the anal and she can't get enough of it.

[jonboy22]

Heheh,

alot of you seem to be pretty adamant that I still love her and that I'm getting to involved etc....

Thing is all of this is initiated by her. She wanted to tell me, she wants me to go to the wedding, she wants me to meet her hubby to be.....

I've moved well on, I'm out on the pull most Fridays and if I'm not I'm sure as hell not worrying about her, in fact how much tread I have left is a far more potent issue....

I know that we can still be friends, it's just the fact that she wants me to be friends with her new man that rubs me up the wrong way I think....

Oh p.s there's nothing wrong with being atheis, I'm sort of agnostic myself, it's just the way I describe him....

pps on the whole travelling for eight months thing, yeah he may have planned it in advance before they met. But if it were me, and I had met the woman who I though I'd love with every fibre of my body, and didn't want to loose, well I'd have delayed the trip, cancelled the trip or better yet invited her to come with. So like I said if he's dicking her around, and just keeping her on a lead till he comes back from dicking around, I drag him behind my bike till there's nothing left.....
____________________
current bike: GSX-R 750 K6 stolen, found the next day in a van in Durham, returned to me 3 months later costing me my NCB and my excess...
last bike: GSXx-R 600 K4 - written off, now converting to track bike

[sickpup]

[jonboy22]

[Barry_M2]

[jonboy22]

[JonB]

[jonboy22]

[Barry_M2]