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| R1stu |
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 R1stu Shrek!

Joined: 12 Mar 2003 Karma :   
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 Posted: 12:34 - 13 Aug 2008 Post subject: Daughter happy with us |
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My, 8yr old daughter told the wife and I the other day that she wasn't 100% happy at home.
She told us that her mums girlfirend bullys her and is always upsetting her and that her mum takes her GF side and not listening to her.
She loves staying with us and her little brother, but also dosnt want to miss her friends.
What would you do? I don't want to start a augment with my ex and lose all contact again! ____________________ Carbon closet tart! https://www.bikepics.com/members/r6stuk/02r6/
Stolen bike. 2000 R1: https://www.bikepics.com/members/r6stuk/00r1/
Current bike 1991 Honda ST1100 Pan European, 1986 Honda cb350sg (Finished) |
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| Mrs Kickstart |
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 Mrs Kickstart Brolly Dolly
Joined: 06 Apr 2004 Karma :  
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 Posted: 12:58 - 13 Aug 2008 Post subject: |
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Hi
It may be a case of the grass in greener. if she is spending more time at her mums then it is likley she gets into more bother there and this maybe nothing.
Or it could be a real problem I would watch and listen and not jump into anything
Regards
Charlotte ____________________ Help fight the safety camera partnerships -- www.pepipoo.com |
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| Kal |
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 Kal World Chat Champion

Joined: 02 Jan 2007 Karma :   
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| lozzypop1 |
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 lozzypop1 Certified MILF!

Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Karma :   
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 Posted: 17:54 - 13 Aug 2008 Post subject: |
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| Mrs Kickstart wrote: |
It may be a case of the grass in greener. if she is spending more time at her mums then it is likely she gets into more bother there and this maybe nothing.
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I agree with what Charlotte has said...
To add to it though.. Children nearly ALWAYS play the parents off against each other. Maybe not to the same extent, but I know I used to, and my parents have been happily married for the past 47-48 years.
My kids started off with the whole 'I don't want to go down Dad's because.....*insert excuse here*... around the age of about 7.
I've been separated from the kids father for nearly 12 years and only recently have Myself and my ex-mother-in-law started talking properly, and it's amazing the things the boys have said about both sides. Now that we are communicating like adults again (as opposed to them & us) we ALL have a better understanding of how well 2 children have played the adults involved with them.
I must point out that it started quite terribly about 3 years ago when I called the grandparents and father because no1 son told me his father had punched him (up until then it was shouts all the time, swears at them, etc. Not nice but nothing MAJOR)
Of course, My calling to say No1 Son had said this caused feathers to be ruffled and quite a few heated phone-calls, but in the end, it was worked out that I wasn't accusing, just trying to get to the bottom of it. From there we have quite a good adult relationship with each other, and if there are any problems from the kids, we call each other to hear the whole story.
Since then, both parties have had the 'they don't feed me, I haven't had any food today' along with some incredible stories that I can't really remember now.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Take note of everything, but try to discuss your concerns with EVERYONE involved, including Grandparents, aunties, uncles etc. As Kal has said, if you HAVE to go through an independent mediator, then do it but please.. try not to over-react as it's possible the child is not telling the whole truth, to BOTH SIDES. ____________________ Funny, I used to hate being spanked as a child!
Tell me and I'll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I'll understand. |
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| J0Al1 |
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 J0Al1 World Chat Champion

Joined: 25 Nov 2006 Karma :     
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 Posted: 19:18 - 13 Aug 2008 Post subject: |
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Play this one carefully. Kids can bevery manipulative and in split homes will play adults off each other.
I am expecting my son to do it to me soon. You need to find out if its 'playing' or there is a genuine reason. Not easy for you. Perhaps start by subtly asking your daughter questions and see if the answers are consistent.
The diary idea is a good one.
I'd die if my son was miserable in my home and wanted to leave for his father. Which is the main reason I finished with my X. My son repeatedly said he didnt llike im after an angry holiday. Had we not had that holiday I might have put it down to manipulation, I'm sure a part of it still is . . . my boy doesnt get enough of me and wants me to himself.
Try not to encourage her, just stay neutral and asses it as much as possible. Perhaps even point out the nice things about her mother to see if that sways any 'stories'?
Good luck  |
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| R1stu |
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 R1stu Shrek!

Joined: 12 Mar 2003 Karma :   
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 Posted: 20:36 - 13 Aug 2008 Post subject: |
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Ill speak to her mum tomorrow. I have been there a cpl times, when her mums other half has had a go at our daughter, but not sure at what the extent of it is.
Its not her mum, its her mums partner that is the cause of the issue. ____________________ Carbon closet tart! https://www.bikepics.com/members/r6stuk/02r6/
Stolen bike. 2000 R1: https://www.bikepics.com/members/r6stuk/00r1/
Current bike 1991 Honda ST1100 Pan European, 1986 Honda cb350sg (Finished) |
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| Dischord |
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 Dischord World Chat Champion

Joined: 08 May 2005 Karma :  
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| st3v3 |
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 st3v3 Super Spammer

Joined: 16 Oct 2006 Karma :     
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| 5v3d3b0 |
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 5v3d3b0 World Chat Champion
Joined: 24 Sep 2006 Karma :     
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| hellobaby |
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 hellobaby Nova Slayer
Joined: 24 Apr 2008 Karma :     
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| st3v3 |
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 st3v3 Super Spammer

Joined: 16 Oct 2006 Karma :     
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 Posted: 11:55 - 14 Aug 2008 Post subject: |
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^That only seems apparent if the next girl he splits up with goes the same way.  ____________________ Roger wrote: Women don't get damp for clingy puppies. Get some better happy pills, hit the gym & buy a medallion the size of a dinner plate. Job done |
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| 5v3d3b0 |
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 5v3d3b0 World Chat Champion
Joined: 24 Sep 2006 Karma :     
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Old Thread Alert!
The last post was made 18 years, 55 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful? |
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