Describe your perfect wedding

[The Original Muzza]

Anything other than "Non-existant" means you're a female or deluded.

This thread was produced to combat the hi-larious flood of funeral threads.
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Current Bikes: Husqvarna Svartpilen 401 (2020)
Former Bikes: Honda MSX125 (2014), BMW Funduro (1996), Honda VT500 (1983), Yamaha FZR250 (1989), Suzuki GZ125 Marauder(2005),:Triumph TT600 (2002) (stolen)
From then on, I and the bicycle feelings deeper.

[kitty kat]

a simple wedding with just very close family and a meal afterwards somewhere. As long as he turns up and says 'I do' I am not too bothered. If I got married it would be wedding number 3, so I have been there done that with the big white wedding and horse drawn carriage etc.
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[Howling TerrorOutOfOffice]

Someone elses

Pat
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[Tonka]

Personally, I'd rather be going to my own funeral, than my wedding

It's kinda the same thing really!
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Suzuki SV650S (Clean); Yamaha XT250 Serow (Dirty)

[Mudskipper]

A drink and drug fuelled sweaty tropical sex session.

No guests, no cake.



Actually, hang on, yes there is cake.



A drink and drug fuelled sweaty tropical sex session, followed by cake.

No guests.
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"You're clumsy, you eat too much and you behave like a 12 year old boy. But you know what? Every once in a while, you find a thumb."

[Ariel Badger]

Weddings are gay, even hetro weddings.
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[D O G]

I am proudly unmarried, after 8 years and two kids.

I like my freedom, thankyouverymuch.

[Skudd]

My wedding was a waste of cake.
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[Barry_M2]

Had ours just over 6 years ago, superb day. I got plastered and went missing before the first dance.

No different to not being married in my opinion.


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[GhostRider]

Theres a woman at work who is getting married.

The costs that are mounting up are fucking ridiculous.... and for what? To stand in a church and have some guy basically say "abra cadabra..... you;re married", followed by everyone else eating your food and getting pissed?

My perfect wedding would be a registry office with minimal guests and minimal costs.

The rest of the money would go on the honeymoon, so that me and the wife could enjoy ourselves, rather than spending all our money on fancy, unneccessary shite.

GhostRider
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[Ariel Badger]

My mate Steve got married at Brum reg office donkey's years ago. his mrs was well up the duff and we had bacon sarnies in the café opposite whilst we waited there turn. she got red sauce all over her dress and her brother started a fight with some bloke he had previously met in prison.
Shameless.
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Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[ms51ves3]

Cheap.

[Dragonfly]

I hate that the people getting married have to pay for it. I wouldnt get married anyway seems like I am not worthy of being asked but it would be nice to be asked all the same. Church stuff pisses me off, I dont go to church and havnt got my child christened as I refuse anything religion. I loath the church so if I where getting married it would not be in one or by a priest, which leaves nothing really. I like being me with my name (even though I dont like me name really)

anyway for the sake of this thread.
I would have a nice dress., not all white has to have some colour and be original. I like to look elegant on the big day. Out door wedding in Autumn not to hot and nicer weather then. Pictures would be taken at a castle (few words with someone that can be arranged) The meal would be the let down as i will not pay for everyone to eat

My mum says if I ever got married just to piss off someone on my own and dont tell them only daughter to have a child and will be the only one as the other two have no chance and thats what she says to me. So they wont pay. I heard it was the brides parents that paid. Is that right?
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All the breast.
Muzza on Binge:
He's too busy beating the everloving shit out of Lizzie to notice this thread has taken a turn down Drama Avenue and stopped off at the popcorn shop.

[D O G]

[The Original Muzza]

Wow, I only made this thread to combat the influx of funerals.

Personally I don't believe in marriage or children. There are other things I don't need weighed down with, but these are the ones that always spring to mind.
Marriage is pointless, I'm not religious, and I don't believe that even if I did meet someone I thought I'd want to marry, that it could ever actually last. My friends are a weird bunch, as they too are (the majority) atheist or agnostic, and yet one lovely quote was "I can understand not having kids, but why would you NOT want to get married." This was from a 22 year old, heterosexual atheist male. All my friends want marriage and children, some even know how many they want, jesus viking christ.

Ceremony wise, I am teleophobic, and can not handle ceremonies, plans or any situation where I'm centre of attention or even being watched, so I could never get married. The thing about teleophobia is that no-one accepts it, with my mother, girlfriend, classmates etc always badgering me that I won't be attending graduation ceremony. I haven't told my mum I don't believe in marriage for the above reason plus she's a christian and probably expects it from me regardless of phobias.

So, I'm not religious, I don't like ceremonies, I don't like being tied down (apart from physically for sex acts), and I don't believe in long term emotional feelings. Marriage and weddings are certainly not for me.
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Current Bikes: Husqvarna Svartpilen 401 (2020)
Former Bikes: Honda MSX125 (2014), BMW Funduro (1996), Honda VT500 (1983), Yamaha FZR250 (1989), Suzuki GZ125 Marauder(2005),:Triumph TT600 (2002) (stolen)
From then on, I and the bicycle feelings deeper.

[NSR Mick]

I had a good stag do.

Went to the TT and came back with alcohol poisoning and sun stroke and spent the next week in bed.
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[bacon]

hookers and coke

[Pie-Roe]

as cheaply as possible, only for tax and inheritance reasons.

Pyro
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[pa_broon74]

The chap that sits behind me is having the wedding rings flown from one end of the church to the other by an owl...

Now, if it were to attack the minister...


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Didn't catch anything.

[Robby]

I'm with Muzza, marriage can go fuck itself. Kids can go fuck themselve too.

Far too much clunge in the world to be stuck, nay, legally bound, to just one.

[map]

I'm told for a half-decent wedding look at £12,000.
If you're pushing the boat out double that plus maybe a bit extra.
Not sure if that includes the rings either.

I once went to a wedding in a little church in Scotland.
Was good as all I remember of the actual ceremony can be summed up by "Do you?", "Yes", "Do you?", "Yes", ok you're married, let's go party.

So, that's what I'll be aiming for, something simple but stylish.
A simple ceremony and spend extra on the rings as that's what you'll be looking at for a good few years (assuming you find the right partner).

However, doubt I'll get that. It'll be more of wear this and this, make sure you turn up at such a time in such a place and don't embarrass me. I'm on Bridezilla alert!
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[Luke_Retrofly]

My wedding last year

[JAMSXR]

It would end with a dance like this, and a bride to match!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YT56YizyR2o
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[Luke_Retrofly]

If anyone tries to do a dance like that at a wedding I go to I'm getting the chainsaw out

[JAMSXR]

Come on Luke, you had to see the funny side of that!
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Honda SFX50 > Aprilia SR125 > Aprilia RS125 > Honda RFV400 > K4 GSXR600 > KTM Duke > C1H 636 > K3 GSXR1000 > Aprilia RSV-R > Triumph Street Triple R > Ducati 899 Panigale > Aprilia Tuono 1100 > Triumph Daytona 675R > KTM SuperDuke 1290 2.0