Darwin Awards are out!

[Clutchy]

Yes, The Darwin Awards are out again It’s
that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed,
honoring the least evolved among us.





Here is the glorious winner:





1.When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot
did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel
and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.





And now, the Honourable mentions:





2.The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a
finger... The chef's claim was approved.





3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.





4.After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone
waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the
mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very
excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't
discovered for 3 days.





5.An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.





6.A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash
he got from the drawer was $15. [If someone points a gun at you and
gives you money, is a crime committed?]





7.Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab
some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over
his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-
be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window
was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on CCTV.





8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in
the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of
the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied,
yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."





9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 a.m. flashed a gun and demanded
cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the
cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings,
the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast... The frustrated
gunman walked away.





And Finally, the 5-STAR "STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER"





10. When a man attempted to siphon fuel from a motor home parked on a
Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained
for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next
to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the
man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but had plugged his siphon
into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake.



The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was
the best laugh he'd ever had and the perp had been punished enough!
____________________
Malaguti F12 Phantom-Dead, Suzuki AY50- Dead, NRG power DD LQ, CBR125.
*33 BHP restriction up on 10/12/14* Current bikes/car: SV 650 S/ MKIV GOLF
Guide to pass your test with no lessons!

[map]

FYI I think they're a bit old.
Still worth reading if not seen before but been doing the rounds for years.
____________________
...and the whirlwind is in the thorn trees, it's hard for thee to kick against the pricks...
Gibbs, what did Duckie look like when he was younger?

[Clutchy]

Just found it when going through my emails looking for my Insurance from 2 years ago
____________________
Malaguti F12 Phantom-Dead, Suzuki AY50- Dead, NRG power DD LQ, CBR125.
*33 BHP restriction up on 10/12/14* Current bikes/car: SV 650 S/ MKIV GOLF
Guide to pass your test with no lessons!

[Rogerborg]

I remember when the Darwin Awards were all about laughing at mongs who'd actually killed themselves in some horrible fashion, rather than just producing a transcript of YouTube pratfalls.
____________________
Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike

[andym]

I'm pretty sure most would not count as 'Darwin Awards'.... as the title of the site suggests:

Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.

[noobRider]

and you've really got to kill yourself before reproducing

Edit: The Darwin Awards site doesn't seem to have updated since 2011
____________________
Licence: Nov 2012, Bikes: Suzuki GN125, Moto Guzzi Strada 750, Triumph Sprint ST 955i x 2
AnPhonEh: I need plans, I need contingency plans also, I need back up contingency plans

[DrDonnyBrago]

Most of them didn't kill/sterilise themselves... Have I missed something?

[soforene]

Have the Darwin Awards been toned down a bit for H&S reasons?

If they're alive then they ain't winners !!