Whats with the limp handshakes?

[fatpies]

Doths flat cap and slippers.

When I was a lad firm bone crushing hand shakes were the norm.

Today going to see numerous people, limp hand shake after limp hand shake. Same last week seeing a lot of new people.

I have also noticed an unscientific correlation too.

Those who give me bone crushers ALWAYS contact me back even if it is bad news. For jobs they have for me and jobs I have for them.

While the limp hand shakers never tend to call back and always promise stuff and never deliver...


Whatever happened to needing to visit A&E after a handshake?
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[Wafer_Thin_Ham]

I hate wet lettuce type hand shakes. Also dislike the bone crunchers. Are people really that insecure they have to crush the hand of a bloke they've just met?

A firm hand shake, make eye contact, then let go.

People that hold on too long are weird.
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[Howling TerrorOutOfOffice]

An uncle of mine used to crush my hand with his handshakes. After years of manual work I had strengthened somewhat I made him visibly wince when he shook my hand on my wedding day. We shake hands normally now.

I like to give and receive a positive greeting. What happens when 2 limp-wristers greet?
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[nowhere.elysium]

[27cows]

Have wondered the same thing myself. I can remember in the good old days...shaking hands with mates you hadn't seen for a while...or after a darts/pool/footie match. You'd literally both walk away with severe bruising, at the very least, if not broken bones

Only person I know these days who offers a proper man's handshake is a German. FFS, says it all really. I think blokes these days are literally limp wristed. Clearly nowhere near enough throttle/masturbation action going on now. I've even had one or two freaks offer a left hand to shake - even nonces and freemasons would draw that line at that kind of depravity
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[Howling TerrorOutOfOffice]

I was thinking more like 2 clumps of limp celery trying to engage, or a squid and an octopus, but I suppose bottom sex is the likely outcome regardless..... I'll remain vigilant and firm.
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[tbourner]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ws2-opew52Q
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[nowhere.elysium]

[Rogerborg]

I always feel the urge to kiss the hand of limp shakers.
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[johnnyarctic]

or people who don't commit, and you just get end of fingers.

[Nexus Icon]

Ask if their husband also has a limp handshake.
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[unluckyluke]

What's with handshakes full stop? How many people do you see in public toilets who walk out without washing their hands!!

[The999Kid]

[bikertomm]

I shook hands with my grandpa a couple of years ago after a family meal..

I had one of those fucked up ganglion things hidden in my wrist and he popped the fucker out, like a 1cm round ballbearing was in my hand the pain was fucking unreal for ages

He now gets a wave.
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[stinkwheel]

You can easily deal with a person with small cock bone crusher by extending your index finger slightly and wrapping the other three fingers round the meat of their hand below their little finger. They can squeeze as hard as they like to no real effect.

The other way is to subtly move your body position slightly to their right so they have to move their hand and elbow away from their centre to take a full grip.

I have a strong grip but I don't feel the need to impose it on others. It's far more interesting to present them with a "full hand and empty arm" and see what they do with it.
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[dydey90]

When I was 16 I was going for a lot of job interviews, so I took the time to learn how to shake hands properly. All my interviews for apprenticeships were with men for stuff like engineering and architecture, so it went quite well.
Then I tried to get a weekend job and one of the places I applied to was a posh hotel (Oulton Hall) and my cousin who worked there had got me the interview. Forgetting myself, when the manageress (must have been mid-55's) collected me for the interview I do believe I very nearly tore her hand off.
Didn't get that job.
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[Clutchy]

Worse still, sometimes people come in with the open palm shake (like a friend would) or even the knuckle punch!


I like to give a firm shake, eye contact, hand up and down slightly twice.
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[Hex]

As one of them "funny hand shakers" sometimes when you meet someone for the first time and you go to give a "funny hand shake" it can all go wrong and you come across like a damp squid, you just make sure they get a normal handshake on the goodbyes.

But none of this bone crushing stuff, I like to be able to keep some dexterity in my hands for fiddly work thank you.
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[hmmmnz]

i hate it now that people want to give you hugs, people that i barely know, or worse yet people i know well, that should know fucken better

there is a reason you originaly shook hands, it was to show you didnt have a blade in your hands, going in for a hug always feels like im going to get shanked in the stomach,

i like a hand shake, for me its like a sign of respect, and works both ways,
every one is getting hugs, ill take a handshake thank you
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[Lord Percy]

I can't stand limp handshakes.

Loads of people these days seem to have adopted what I think is the Arab/Asian/whatever style of handshake, where you don't actually grab at all, you literally just meet hands and keep them there for a second, without applying any pressure.

Interesting: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Handshake#Modern_customs

[Doovy]

Ugh, it gives me the creeps..

I have a weird uncle that offers his hans out and just holds it there limp, squidgy and motionless

FUCKING DISGUSTING, SORT IT OUT
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[Bubbs]

My rules on handshakes:

Women

Business Women, Hardy Women, Stocky women: They get a nice firm hand shake that I consider not to hard not too soft.

Dainty, old, petit women: They get a nice grab but no squeeze. They usually tend to be limpy shakers and with that assumption I don't feel the need to throw up when shaking.

Men

Always start off with a firm squeeze, never a bone crusher as it's quite rude. If they return the handshake and it get's stronger I match their strength. If it gets stronger still I just look at them dead in the eye and smile even if it hurts (because fuck them).

Hand shake is never longer than 3 shakes... anyone who does more is a fucking spesh! After 3 I go to leave go and they are still holding on which turns my shake into a limpy one and I have thus robbed them of the joy of a good handshake.

Always look dead in the eyes, and if I really want to engage the left hand comes in and hold their forearm. It's more of a power move to the people I don't like that much to show a little dominance subconsiously.
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