Boss tells me to break up with my girlfriend

[Benno]

Been very tired this week, feeling like a zombie at work and not being very productive. This has been due to commitments after work every single night, the girlfriend being responsible for some of them.

So my boss began telling me the other day that I should end it with her. I think the implication is obvious - "you're not being productive enough so I want you to give her the boot so you can dedicate your life to me."

That's not enough? Well, he has also been questioning my army commitments and giving me weird looks when I book time off for the army in a few months' time (all within my allotted annual time off I might add). Recently he's begun heavily implying that I should ditch the army entirely.

I don't particularly want my life to revolve around a job I might not even have in a few months. What's the best way to deal with a boss like this? He's generally a really nice guy, but I don't particularly trust everything he says, and I have no idea how empty his promises are - whether or not they're just empty platitudes to motivate me.
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I'm autistic. That means I'm smarter than you.

[doggone]

Maybe just thinks if this carries on will unfortunately need to find someone else?

[Wafer_Thin_Ham]

Boss sounds like an ass. Shouldn't be approaching it like that IMO, should be dealing with your productivity in a different way rather than giving you advice on your personal life.
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[Benno]

[metalangel]

Don't trust him. You could throw away all these other things in your life and then have him turn around and decide to sack you anyway.
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Previous: 2002 Honda CB500 (sold), 2007 Suzuki SV650SK6 (crashed), 2005 Yamaha FZ6 Fazer (sold). Currently bikeless
"A faired bike will get you 10x more clunge than a unfaired one." -Marlboro Matt

[Nexus Icon]

Tell him you'll dump her if he'll fill the blow job void.
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[rideslikean00...]

Its his job to manage your work life, not your whole life. Perhaps have a quick meeting with him, apologise for the productivity slump but be firm that your commitments outside of work are basically none of his business. I've never had a boss like that but if I did I'd be very quick to politely tell him/her where the line is, and in the few cases I have been a manager I never suggested people break up with their partners or ditch the armed forces, the latter of which is a form of serving your country and therefore an honourable profession.
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Previous/Current Bikes
2013 Yamaha YBR-125ED -> 1997 Yamaha YZF-1000R Thunderace -> 2009 Yamaha XJ-6 Diversion -> 2007 Yamaha FZ6 Fazer S2

[Rogerborg]

Start writing it all down in preparation for your unfair / constructive dismissal compo claim.
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GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike

[J4mes]

He has no right to snoop on your personal life.

BUT

Has he just worked out that you're coming in to work and doing fuck all because you're humping the fanny off your missus or have you dropped it in to conversation?

Would it be any different if you went in to work and did fuck all because you'd been up all night watching star trek box sets? Or drinking all night?

He wants you to come to work and do your job.


Sure, if you aren't planning to be there long carry on as you like just don't expect a reference if you move on.

[lihp]

Stop staying up shagging your mrs and do your work.

Stop watching TV all night, and do your work.

Stop breeding llamas all night, and do your work.

All he seems to want is for you not to go to work tired, and doing fuck all.

[Itchy]

First things first,

You're not a slave, he cannot claim ownership of you outside of work hours. What you do when you are off the clock is your own business unless it severely impairs your work.

I.e. has your productivity declined or your performance reviews suffered? and when I say that I mean in writing and recorded with minutes.


Secondly NEVER EVER be loyal to a boss. You can be the most loyal person in the world but you are expendable. Japanese business men found this enmasse in the 90s and 00s. They worked long 20hour shifts day in day out often dying at their workstations.

They hit 45 and got sacked before their pensions could kick in. Your loyalty extends to the next pay cheque and that is all.

Any promises that are made or notions of rising in the company need to be in writing and witnessed by 4 different people and a solicitor, if he isn't willing to do this then he is hanging a non existent carrot in front of your face.

[trevor saxe-coburg-gotha]

[slowlydoesit]

[Benno]

[Itchy]

[Benno]

Yes, but my appraisals so far are just printed MS word documents. Anyone could just make one of those themselves...

Your answer to the similar situation I don't think will work with me. If he feels I don't fit in he can just get rid of me. My contract says "either party has to give 28 days notice of termination" but since I'm 'employed' as a limited company providing services to his limited company I'm sure he can fuck me sideways any way he wants.
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I'm autistic. That means I'm smarter than you.

[hellkat]

Why are you telling him about your private life anyway?

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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[P.addy]

[notbike]

Find out where your boss lives and piss through his letterbox. That'll show him

[Rogerborg]

[dydey90]

The only reason your boss is saying anything is because it's affecting your work, so he has a legitimate reason for concern. Just like if you went out to a rave every night and came to work looking like warmed up death.

My boss occasionally enquires about my personal life too, as I work in Nottingham and do everything else in Leeds, so he knows I'm looking out for opportunities to move back.
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This post is probably not serious and shouldn't be taken literally.
Past: CBR125,ER6f NINJA 650, ZZR600 Current: VFR750

[tbourner]

Knock on his door.

"I've dumped the missus, she was crap in bed anyway. Oh and I've given up with that Army nonsense as well, so I can focus on my job 100% from now on".

Carry on as you are, lie about everything personal he asks.
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Trev, now a biker?
Looking for first big bike.

[BakesBeans]

This sounds like the classic conversation of being pulled up on your work.

You don't like it, and you feel like you have to justify your productivity (well, lack of it)... and so blame the girl friend.

The logical answer from the boss is that you need to re-assess your work/personal life balance.

You don't like it, and post on a forum.
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Current: Kawasaki ZX636
Previous Bike: Honda CBR600F ABS, Yamaha XJ6 F Diversion ABS, Honda VFR400 NC30

[Clanger]

[gavcarter]

Find his wife / gf name, preferably a picture ( look her up on face book maybe - just dont add her). Just get a clear image of what her name is and what she looks like etc.

Pretend to have dumped your lass and be as you are for a day or two.
Turn up to work a few days later whistling smiling etc be all cheerful and pretend to like work and be productive

He will ask whats changed - you reply you met some one ( first name of his missus - dont give 2nd your not sure yet or didnt get it)
She is awesome in bed, woke you up with a blow job, swallowed it and made you coffee and bacon buns before sending you to work.

She has to be home for unknown reasons before you get in though.

Keep this sherade going for as long as possible, the quizs will grow and so will his doubts and worries about the size of your penis as you keep telling him how you mangled this lass last night.
Drip feed him info about his own g/f wife until he dare not ask anymore

Plus its fucking funny and will make work more enjoyable....