I have no friends.

[Tungtvann]

No really, I don't.

I've never been very good at maintaining relationships, of any kind. Be that with girlfriends, family or mates. I get on well with people, I don't have any disorders or anything that makes it difficult for me to socialise. I enjoy socialising (through the army) I do it a fair amount and have good mates that I work with and people tend to like me.

All round, I'm quite a normal guy. But I don't have any real friends. By this I don't mean I have friends that don't exist in the physical form and actually are in my head, but I don't have a group of mates like most people seem to have. All my friends are through work and somewhat transient. When I move on to somewhere new, those friends are gone, I don't catch up with them much and we barely stay in contact apart from being on Facebook.

I left school and immediately moved to a different town, as a young guy who had no transport, it meant that I never really stayed in contact with my old school mates. Everyone I know has all these friends still, people they went to school or uni with, people they'll hang out with at weekends and go and do stuff with. I, do fuck all. If I haven't got a girlfriend, I've got nothing.

I know a lot of people my age are starting to spend more time with partners than 'out with the lads', but being single at the moment and for the foreseeable future means I don't have that either. All I have is work and nothing.

I think I didn't realise how much the army has provided me with, a purpose and all the 'friends' I do have. But any time I go home to visit the parents for the weekend (seldom, these days), there's nobody and nothing there for me. I've only got one old mate to call, but if he's busy, then I've got nowhere to go.

How the fuck do I change this? What do I do? I think I'm afraid of rejection and people not liking me and it's hard to make proper new friends because everyone else seems to established in their groups of friends and also busy with partners. How can I fit in to any of this? Do people actually make friends in their late 20s?

If I've got a few weeks off work, aside from visiting the family, I'm pretty much a loner, I don't mind my own company, but even I can get pretty depressed with it.

WAT DO

[mentalboy]

Aaaaaw.

Always a problem if you've led a life moving about quite a bit.

1) Get a job (if you don't have one)
2) Join a club that appeals to your interests, usually they have good social set-ups and, whilst it may take a while, you'll find mates.
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Make mine a Corona.

[angryjonny]

Gets yourself down a BCF rideout and meet some of the folks off of here like what I've never done.

[N cee thirty]

Rally local bcf troops for a bike meet, go, make friends with the ones that aren't complete nobbers

???

friendship
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'00 Aprilia RS50 > '92 Honda CG > '99 Yamaha Fazer > '91 Yamaha RXS > '79 Suzuki X5 > 01' Honda Cg > 07' Honda Cg > 82' Kawasaki Z200 > suzuki gsxr 400 gk73a > honda vfr 400 NC30 Mod 2 Passed 09/06/2011

Jewlio Iglesias wrote: I actually did vote BNP once

[metalangel]

Going to rideouts or meets like AngryJonny says is a great way to meet people - I made some great friends off other forums by going to meets. Do you play any online games? I don't play EvE at the moment but there was an active channel for the city and they had a get together once a month to get very drunk and discuss the game and also socialize in general.

Do you have any hobbies or interests you could take evening/weekend classes for? Another great way to meet new folks.

I completely sympathise with how you feel: I left all my high school friends behind when I moved to the UK and managed to keep the friendships on life support for about three years until I just couldn't afford to go back visiting any more. Then I did the same thing in reverse moving back to Canada.

Now I have:
-my best friend, we cling onto each other (like me, she doesn't feel like she fits into most social circles so we are delighted to have found each other) and have a great time but our schedules often don't mesh because she works nights.
-my second oldest friend, who I saw in person last night for the first time since September, after she blew up at me for spending too much time with my best friend.
-another friend who lives a three hour journey away and never has any money to do anything.

Up until recently I had 'nothing in common' who lived right around the corner and I would hang out with at least once a week (without fail I'd get an invitation Friday evening if I had no other plans) - until her entire life fell apart and she had to move 2000km away. Aside from that I am in touch with a few people from college and such but never see them in person.

It's not helped that I am an introvert and so can't deal with busy or social situations for long, am afraid of rejection and think I'm a stupid ugly loser nobody would want to be friends with anyway.

It's hard at our age (I'm 34) to meet new people and I'm finding that penetrating existing social circles can be very hard - dating too, these women who go looking to find a man but then don't have/make time to go on dates with him. There are still cool people to meet out there, you should try the aforementioned activities where you're put into a situation together with strangers on friendly terms and see where it takes you. I find this is preferable to work friends who very seldom (in my experience) stay friends once one of you leaves that job.
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Previous: 2002 Honda CB500 (sold), 2007 Suzuki SV650SK6 (crashed), 2005 Yamaha FZ6 Fazer (sold). Currently bikeless
"A faired bike will get you 10x more clunge than a unfaired one." -Marlboro Matt

[Pol Anorl]

who needs friends! I have none I hate having them im a loner and will die alone.

no fucks
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GOOD GAME BODYGUARD: https://i.imgur.com/8WePGgf.jpg
20:30:37 Pyro.: I don't sort of like men, I take every advantage to choke on dick.
Jewlio Iglesias: You live in Liverpool - Chances are, the front door has already been kicked off the hinges

[CHR15]

[Tungtvann]

My life is on hold at the minute, off to Afshitistan again in 2 weeks for a while, when I'm back, I'm going to start trying to 'do' stuff. One thing the army has made me, is more outgoing and less fearful or things.

Last October, some of my absolute favourite DJs were playing an event in London. Couldn't miss out, had no-one to go with, so went anyway. Got talking to a guy who like me, just went by himself. He's now my techno buddy and we arrange to go to events/clubs every month or 2. So I can do it, but that's still only 1 night every now and again I've got someone to do stuff with!

Hobbies and interests are good, but like music events for me, I can't be doing those several times a week. And again with the age thing, people have their own lives, own friends and own families to be dealing with, and not hanging out with some loser like me!

I have mates (army mates) that post pics on their facebooks of their 'epic' nights out, like a dozen guys, all best of mates, having a great time on a regular basis and I've never had this. Granted Facebook is all for show, this is probably not as common and regular as I may think, but I'm sure most of you have even a small group of 3-6 friends you can always call up, organise a drink, pop over for a bit, get to help you do stuff and all that 'friends' stuff.

[slowlydoesit]

[-Matt-]

Ive kept in contact with one person from my childhood days whos the only person i consider a proper long term friend. Besides that people tend to come and go as life does every few years with moving/new things. Nothing wrong with that though i quite like it that way, never understood why its nescessary to cling onto old friendships as time goes on - people and life change and so do the friendships.

The majority of my 'social life' outside work is bike related - but i like it that way, its what interests me and what a large part of my spare time and enjoyment is based around. In terms of meeting people generally ive never been into clubbing particularly, gigs and festivals occasionally are great but spending every weekend in a club filled with drunks gets boring fast IMO.

Personally I tend to do as much outdoor/sports/activity stuff as I can - I find that fills the gaps socialising wise in the process - riding, kayaking, climbing, paintball, and whatever i get the time or money for really, trying to get into cycling at the moment . It always gives you something to look forward to and guarantees you meet lots of people if you can get out n' about doing stuff, plus you instantly have something in common to talk about

Also - having "20 mates" doesn't nescessarily mean you can rely or trust half of them - other peoples social lives may appear more filled than your own, but it doesn't mean they're any happier than someone with a couple of reliable mates

[The Artist]

I'm always up for gigs in London. Pm me if anyone good is playing.

[whitmorereans]

Join a lodge. I did and when my life was falling apart I had a whole new set of friends who kept me going.

[orac]

Here is a news flash, friends are overrated. The vast majority will take and never give back, they are only interested in them selves'.

you will always be better off alone
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Current rides - 2016 Triumph Street Triple Rx, 1994 Suzuki Bandit 400 VM, TGB 204 Classic 125cc
"with nothing left to lose, there is everything to gain. It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog"

[Carl_steveo]

I'm pretty similar to you tbh. I had a fairly decent sized group of mates from school and we went drinking and socialising every week. Then they had university and I moved a few times and lost my job, got a new one, got a girlfriend and got busy really. Only people I socialise with now are through work. My best mate from childhood is getting married this weekend and I got an invite even though we've only spoken a hand full of times in the last 6 years. All the old lot will be there so it should be good. Only thing I can say really is to keep in touch with the few you've got even if it is just checking in periodically like I did.
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Current: Honda Nsr 125
Live: Sunderland
Luke "cant be arsed to read your post, but suck my balls anyway."

[trevor saxe-coburg-gotha]

[trevor saxe-coburg-gotha]

[dydey90]

This is the reason I cover so many miles. I work in Nottingham through the week, then go to Leeds on a weekend to see friends, girlfriend and family.

Until about two years ago, I only had my three close mates and the dozen or so in the associated larger group. Then I started going out into town at least once a week and found a lot of people go regularly, you see familiar faces and get talking to them. Alcohol makes you quite the social butterfly. If you want to try this, remember that the smoking area is your friend. People can't hear you talking inside, so this is where all the socialising happens.
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This post is probably not serious and shouldn't be taken literally.
Past: CBR125,ER6f NINJA 650, ZZR600 Current: VFR750

[Conzar]

ASL?
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Current ride: ZX6R 636 ------- Previous:KTM EXC 450 Supermoto --- ZX6R B1H --Hornet 600--CBR 600--SV650
11:05:35 Rob Fzs: i just wanna own an rd350 valve before they send us to war with durkadurkastan

[mikesaa309]

All my mates come and go. Some I still have from school, a few from college. One of my mates recently got a gf and didn't bother with me unless she wasn't available. They've since split up and now he's all pally again.

My main person I hang around with at the moment is a mate who I met through another mate at college. He got a 125 and started riding the 125's. Then met his mates with 125's and rode round causing a noise where ever we went. I've since got a 600 but still ride out with them on their 125's (saves on petrol)

I'm not really one for going night clubbing. Waking up the next day with a hang over and no fucking clue what happened the night before lying next to some dog who looked hot as fuck when pissed but actually wouldn't touch with a barge poll if you were sober. Plus you're "mates" now have an extremely embarrassing video of you doing some crazy ass shit that's all ready gone viral on YouTube. All that because you wanted mates.

It's better on your own. I mean riding out on the bikes with mates for example is fine but I much prefer riding on my own. Go where I want, when I want without someone going "But I wanna go here" or "But I can't be fucked to ride that far".

Just a few mates to hang out with now and again will do me. Besides some mates will be a bad influence most of the time anyway.

[tbourner]

I'm the same, the only real friend I have is my wifes best mate - but she's a bird so it doesn't really work.
I had 2 'best mates' at school, but they both moved 80 odd miles away and we don't talk any more.
Got a few good dudes that I work with, go out on the odd occasion but they're definitely more work colleagues than friends. I wouldn't think to phone any of them and see if they fancy a drink.
Maybe I need to get a bike and go to some meets.
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Trev, now a biker?
Looking for first big bike.

[orangepeeleo]

I left the army about 4 years ago, went from single with tons of disposable income, to married with a baby and bills to pay...it took a lot of getting used to!

My wife and I both work FT, me office hours and her at random times, quite often in the evenings, meaning I was mostly working 9-5 and then coming home to stay in the house and watch the kids, at the weekends we'd do family stuff during the day and then the evening I'd watch the kids again, when my wife wasn't working we were usually skint, so even when I did get a chance at a social life I couldnt afford it.

This meant that I kinda faded out of my mates lives, as they were all single and out every weekend as you do, the invites out or texts asking what I was up to that night came to a stop as I'd pretty much always say no. I started feeling lonely too, when me and the missus were bitching at each other I'd regularly blame her work, I resented her, resented the kids for chaining me to the house and generally hated life.

I was expecting life to get harder with a new born though and thought this would all pass, didn't think much of it until I was at a bbq one summer and in a a conversation about how commuting sucks I casually dropped into it that I regularly had day-dreams about crashing the car into a tree on the commute, found out that apparently not everyone day dreams about trying to kill themselves everyday and I should probs talk to someone about that

Went to the doctors, got some meds and a few councilling appointments and all is now fine, but what I've realised since, is that everyones lives move on, credit to him my best man still texts and has lent me money recently to get out with them on good friday, he's a good egg but his life has moved on, he's got a missus now and thats prob why the texts got less frequent from him.

Only you can make the changes you need in your life, its took me too long to realise but my life is now far apart from all my mates, theyre out every weekend, I'm saving for holidays to Florida and spending the spare cash on trips out with the kids.

I kinda miss the brotherhood of the army, and I guess thats what attracted me to motorbikes, the nods, the meetups and rideouts with randoms that eventually become mates etc etc. So I done my CBT, bought a 125, found a local club on Facebook, and as soon as I have ran it in and done the first service I'll be getting myself out there to make new friends, that fit in with my life now. For most people the difficulty is finding a hobby that will expand their social circle, your lucky that you've already found one!

Kinda went off on one there, like a certain other forum member lol

TLDR: MTFU and change your life, your the only one that can, and the only one that cares about you doing it!
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Bikes : HN125 (sold) - Lexmoto ZSX 125 (Stolen!) - Currently bimbling on : '10 YBR

[Bunny Lingus]

I have very few close friends but those I have are reliable & dependable. Other people I know are acquaintances - I get along with them but they are friends of friends, workmates or neighbours. An ex of mine was one of the 'tons-of-friends' set, mostly from art school & to be honest, it was a pain. We lived together & at least two or three times a week there would be people round or we'd have to go to a poncy gastro pub for someone's leaving do etc. I never had anything in common with most of them & they seemed to me to be simply a collective of loners who depend on each other for relationships, sex, entertainment etc. Nothing wrong with it but I never needed or wanted what they had. Looking at them now, all I see is a homogenised mass of samey types, living samey lives & sleeping with each other in an almost creepy, incestuous & elitist way. When they eventually pair off, a new generation of boring consumers will be created. Big fucking deal. At least you are not part of that - plugged in to an awful middle class Matrix-of-symbiotic-need. Value your independence dude!

You come across as an articulate person. If I were in your shoes I would consider university as the number one choice for meeting people. Do a short course & see if you like it. Join a club or society. Use the bars. You cannot fail to meet cool people (& wankers), at uni. I went there with nothing but ended up living in various squats with many crazy bastards from all over the world. You can take it or leave it too. Whilst you're there, you indulge. When you ain't, you don't. People come to study & have fun for a year or two then they piss off back home. They have their fix & that's it. I plan to go back soon myself & I know there will be a different bunch of crazy bastards there. We'll meet, have some fun then go our separate ways. Nice & neat. No excess baggage...
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Bunny Lingus & The Flipside Faggots

[chickenstrip]

I think this is just the way life goes. You live it, have friends, have to relocate, job situation or whatever, have to start again.

Whilst in the RAF, I did keep in touch with a couple of biking mates, and used to go home each weekend so saw them pretty regularly. When I got posted to Germany, it was harder as I only had the few occasions of leave to meet up again.

I've recently relocated to Oxfordshire, and I don't really know anyone around here. A few of the musician crowd I can chat to at the various local live music venues now and again but that's it.

Most people I know now I've met on rides with the Owners Forum I'm a member of - a really good bunch generally, but scattered all over the country unfortunately. But, when I next relocate, I know there'll be at least one or two who'll be nearby.

And now I'm thinking of a further relocation, before I've even really established a life here.

So forums like this really fill in for some of what's missing, because when your situation changes, you can still take this with you. The join a club advice, that's good - but you're already in one So make more contact through BCF and maybe other bike forums, or whatever else you're into, and meet up with people in your area.

But that's always going to be difficult while you're in the Army and constantly moving around. And when you come out, you may find that every 3 years or so (depending on the frequency of your postings/tours now) you will get itchy feet again. That's what I find.

Talking of which, who's around the Oxfordshire area on here? Bout time I met up with a few of you!

[hmmmnz]

if i didnt meet up with guys from bcf, i wouldnt have that many friends in the uk, as it stands, ive made some excellent friends off bcf, some even came out to new zealand.
i think you have to make an effort, and helping people is a good way to make friends,
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the humans are dead
I kick arse for the lord
Wiring Diagrams BIDNIP it bitches

[GhostRider]

Could always swing by the BCF BBQ if you are in the country.

On the whole there are some fucking good blokes (and ladies!) on this forum, some have helped me, or offered to help me, more than some so called friends I've known for 10+ years.

GhostRider
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I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.