am i BCFs biggest DIY cowboy?

[to v or not to v]

today i made a 2nd attempt at carb balancing. after getting everything up and running, carbs 1 and 2 were out by a huge amount (due to my previous attempts).
on my bike you balance 1 and 2 carbs as a pair then the same with 3 and 4, the match the 2 pairs.
after spending about 20 minutes just trying to get a screwdriver onto the adjusting screw, i finally managed it and proceeded to back the screw off so much that it fell out!
tomorrow im going to have a real fun time trying to put it back in the carb

is anyone else on here as useless as me, or am i alone in my misery?
what cockups have you made?
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current bike Yamaha Thunderace.
its old and fat, but its a damned good ride. the bikes not bad either.

[Keithy]

Nah, you are fine. I can’t take a nut off without wondering which way on it goes when putting it back.

[pepperami]

Oh no! Not by a long way!
I used to think that mole-grips was an adjustable spanner .
I’ve broken screwdrivers by using them as chisels
I repaired fairings with the plastic parts of an old window frame

I used to think Gaffa-tape and cable ties were a gift from God
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I am the sum total of my own existence, what went before makes me who I am now!

[yen_powell]

I was asked to look at a friends 125 Kawasaki and check he'd replaced the brake pads correctly as the wheel was hard to turn.

When I looked he had somehow managed to get both pads on the same side of the disc.

I asked how he had changed them and he said he had removed the front wheel to do it, then put the wheel back on rather than remove the caliper.

He's a fully qualified and chartered civil engineer.
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Blackmail is a nasty word........but not as nasty as phlegm!
XT1200Z and a DR350 in bits

[struan80]

Connected the battery terminals the wrong way round. Blew main fuse.

[Blah blah]

I rode my KH250 (when they were worth peanuts) with a jubilee clip around the throttle, holding the throttle cable on because the end of the cable had broken off and I couldn't afford a new one. It stayed like that for many months. I won't mention how long I ran it for after the middle piston seized either !

I also managed to crack the top of a carb on an IL4 trying to get a seized bolt out. "yeah, I'll just stick a spanner on it and bash that with a hammer". I then took it to get it welded and the weld lasted about an hour before the crack re-appeared, it did however still run so I left that as well.

I could also mention the time I added some spot lights to one of my bikes, using a switch and only brown wire attached directly to the battery. No connectors, just wrap the bare wire around whatever it was being connected to and then lots of insulation tape.

Or the time a friend bought his AR80 to me as it was barely running, it turns out that the carb floats were split so we found a set that almost fit and bodged them on by wrapping a bit of wire around the pin to make up the difference in width (float height? What's float height?) and off he went

These were all some considerable time ago and I hope that I am a bit better now though

[chickenstrip]

Have you ever spot-welded the front sprocket onto the output shaft? Then no, you're a long way from taking that title.
Come on BCF veterans, what have been the worst examples on this forum? Remind us, I could do with a laugh!
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Chickenystripgeezer's Biking Life (Latest update 19/10/18) Belgium, France, Italy, Austria tour 2016 Picos de Europa, Pyrenees and French Alps tour 2017 Scotland Trip 1, now with BONUS FEATURE edit, 5/10/19, on page 2 Scotland Trip 2 Luxembourg, Black Forest, Switzerland, Vosges Trip 2017
THERE'S MILLIONS OF CHICKENSTRIPS OUT THERE!

[mentalboy]

[Fat Angry Scotsman]

[pepperami]

[trevor saxe-coburg-gotha]

[Nobby the Bastard]

That wasn't Warped.

Warped did the shit geezer In the fish finger factory.
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trevor saxe-coburg-gotha:"Remember this simple rule - scooters are for men who like to feel the breeze on their huge, flapping cunt lips."
Triumph Sprint ST 1050

[trevor saxe-coburg-gotha]

yeah - true, and welding to a hundred thou
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"Life is a sexually transmitted disease and the mortality rate is one hundred percent."

Mobylette Type 50 ---> Raleigh Grifter ---> Neval Minsk 125

[hellkat]

No, the guy who welded his sprocket was the guy also who shat on someone's lawn at a bbq ... erm, I dunno, I was not there at either event
But is that the same guy as the one who likes to do fat old Essex hags up the poop shute in the back of his car ?
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[hellkat]

I cannot think of a single incident in which I have fucked up doin some diy on the bike, because I almost never attempt shit like that.

Although on the couple of occasions that I have had to attend to such matters, it has come out surprisingly better than I had expected it to.
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[Islander]

[Islander]

[trevor saxe-coburg-gotha]

yeah lawn shitter was covdude - that was the '12 bcf bbq iirc
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"Life is a sexually transmitted disease and the mortality rate is one hundred percent."

Mobylette Type 50 ---> Raleigh Grifter ---> Neval Minsk 125

[xX-Alex-Xx]

[trevor saxe-coburg-gotha]

and the rest
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"Life is a sexually transmitted disease and the mortality rate is one hundred percent."

Mobylette Type 50 ---> Raleigh Grifter ---> Neval Minsk 125

[Zen Dog]

I've snapped more bolts than I can count, on the basis of "well it's not moving, but if I apply just a BIT more force.... oh it's snapped". I'm getting better at drilling them out and cutting new threads though...

I am actively trying to be less of a bodger these days, mainly by taking more time and ordering the proper tools for the job where needed.
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Current - '94 VFR750FR, '00 VFR800FI Previous - '10 Street Triple R, '92 MZ ETZ301, '05 TTR250, NSR125R, KMX125, "Honda" Win (chinese copy of an old Honda design with a C90 engine)
My bike trip around S.E. Asia 2010/2011

[Ste]

[Kawasaki Jimbo]

Thankfully I can’t compete with that but I did once install front brake pads with the friction material facing the pistons. Only on the left calliper, I’m not a complete idiot… The ‘clack-clack’ sound as I pushed the resto out of the garage in what should have been a triumphal moment gave the game away.

[slowasyoulike]

Who was the dude who lost the keys of his 125, found them again but - for reasons best known to himself - continued to dismantle his bike, leaving it on its side on the pavement (pissing oil out) from where it was towed? That one one of the best threads ever IMO.

[xX-Alex-Xx]