Surreal near miss - very annoyed.

[Mister James]

Ok, I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry at this, so bear with me and let me know what you think.

Your esteemed correspondent was, not 20 mins ago, popping down to Tesco's on his little death 'ped to pick up some washing powder, and some lemons and limes for his evening Pimms.

Imagine his suprise when, on a densely parked side road with immense speedbumps and zero clearance, an enormous silver Rover shoulders past him at about 40, almost sending him into a parked car. Said Rover then proceeds to storm across 4 lanes on the busy main road, and screech to a halt at the traffic lights. Just as yours truely is pulling up behind him, the lights change, and he screams off again, weaving through the slower moving traffic and flying into a bus lane. He then parks up, leaps out of the car, and runs to his Oh-So-Fucking-Urgent destination - the local MFI kitchen showroom.

Your fearless reporter, orginally planning to pass the incident of as 'one of those things' is suddenly enraged, and pulls over to have a frank exchange of opinions with this jumped up little shit.

Our protagonist begins to realise the enormity of his actions when an ugly, gurning, 6 foot plus angy person materialises in his 5'8 skyline. He proceeds to bluff it, angrily denying that he had broken any rules of the road, or acted improperly, implying that in fact, it was dangerous scooters ridden by incompetent idiots that were the true threat - a breathtakingly brave defence in the face of overwhelming might (and indeed, right). Your reporter was quick to note that the english of this young cad was below the standard that one would expect from a citizen of these green and pleasant lands (even one that hailed from North London) and that his arrogant and confrontational demeanour, accompanied by his strong accent, suggested a Nigerian background.

With the need for Pimms starting to override the need for violent vengance, the gentleman in question was politely asked if he'd mind awfully fucking off, and the pilgrimage to the land of Pimms continued.

Well, all jokes aside, I was fucking pissed off. It's unusual for me to lose my rag in public, but coming closer to stacking it on a bike than ever before, so a misinformed immigrant with poor time management can try and get to the bloody MFI in time to satiate his sudden desires for a marble kitchen worksurface is something that seems to piss me off, for some bizarre reason.

Ho hum. I've got his registration number, not much point in forwarding it to the police, I doubt my word is enough to press charges even if they felt inclined to, and hopefully they are out catching more serious crooks, Harrow could certainly do with it.

I am, however, going to be passing the Reg. No. onto my Immigration Officer chums at work, as they have the time and the resources to chase up things like that. Who knows, if, as I suspect, he turns out to be an illegal and they catch up with him, the little dear might be turning up in my centre.......poor soul.

Glad I got all that off my chest, sorry for the long and rather surreal nature of the whole thing. If it's confused anyone, imagine how I felt having it happen to me!

[Valentino Mossy]

[Ste]

Nice.

If you were to report someone to the police for dangerous driving (or anything like that I believe) I think they normally send someone round to knock on their door and remind them to behave a bit more. Heard something about that on I think it was VisorDown but I woudl expect someone is able to more accuratly say if they do anything if you report someone for being a twat. Would definately expect that if two people reported the same person or event they they'd do something. Does sound slightly worse than your average bad driver though.

[McJamweasel]

I had an odd close call last night too. I was coming around a roundie and saw a fox run accross it, about 20 feet ahead of me. Nowt close there though, I hear you shout. However, slightly earlier on teh trip I had to switch onto reserve, so had it not been for the momentary splutter of an engine running out of fuel I would probably of been on Mr Fox's head rather than 20 feet behind it.
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BCF: Be yourself, just don't be an arse.

[stryker]

People who drive like that are just so dumb! they have no idea of what risk they are taking for themselves and the lives around them. I mean what living creature would value getting their crappy MFI cupboard (that is on sale today oh joy) over the life of another person.

When you gauged he was too stupid to think, you should of just given a lesson he'd understand and possibly took notice of.... should of lamped him.

[Mister James]

I'm a law-abiding type, I dont like it when I see other people breaking the law to bring their own personal 'justice' - to my mind, it makes you as bad as the person you are reprimanding. That said, I was pretty close to it.
Add to that I'd lose my HO clearance, and thus my job and my future career, if caught, and it's a no go for me. Doesn't mean I wasn't sorely tempted though!

[stryker]

Fair enough, but in that situation I'd be wandering if his next victim could be a small child on a crossing.

[ZRX61]

Didn't his mirror hit your elbow? Thats *hit & run*....

[Bagpuss]

If you reckon he came from Nigeria then that is probably how he learnt to drive. Britains are very civilized on the roads compared to most of the rest of the world! I had an incident in Italy where the wife had to virtually drive the car off the road to avoid a car that was coming up behind in the region of 150mph+ and wasn't making any effort to slow down, it was get out the way or get hit.

As for India that is altogether another story they are totally mad as long as you don't hit the cow nothing else matters!

[Bikay]

I was almost taken off my bike today while riding to work on the A3.
Two vehicles in front, one in the inside, the other in the middle overtaking it. Check behind me, no traffic, except a car about 1/2 a mile off. Indicate and move from the inside lane to the middle then outside. Just getting level with the vehicle in the middle when the car which was far away is hanging off my rear.
He then proceeds to try and squeeze between myself in the outside lane and the vehicle in the middle lane. Tries a few more times and then backs off and I get past the vehicle in the middle lane and get back into the inside lane. This was all at 70mph+ and he was within inches of me.
Caught up with him at a traffic jam just around the corner, checked his plate and got a description of him.
I was very shaken up; I thought I was quite tough. This guy was a real idiot.
I've reported it to the police this evening and filled in a statement form for dangerous driving. Trouble is I didn't think to get the reg plates of the guys/girls in the other vehicles so there are no independent witnesses. I'm hoping that a phone call or visit may happen and he'll realise what a stupid thing he did.

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Check out my bikay cha'mone!

[stryker]

Think I'm going to get one of those tiny notepad and pen things for my bike jacket pocket.

[atom]

I've had three near misses in the last week, Ive only been riding seven months and up until now it had only happened once. I've booked a DAS course but I'm seriously begining to wonder if biking is for me.
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The Internet: Ceefax for the 21st Century

[stryker]

Biking is for you atom, but is driving for the other gimps on the road?

You really have to drive defensively. You'll be taught this on the DAS.

[Villers]

Had a big moment myself on wednesday, coming round a banked roundabout I hit the biggest patch of diesel I've ever seen. Dont even know how I got round it, all I know is that both wheels were definitely not inline! Probably my own fault for not looking far enough ahead. Perception is the key!

Be safe guys!