Relationship advice for the Young un!

[Marcg868]

Right, first and foremmost, i just want sensible answers and friendly advice, no fucking comments like

"Oh grow some bollocks" etc

Basically ive passed my Army selection right, have got just over a week, to tell them wether i want to sign contract, sweat oath etc. But the thing is, as you know from another thread, Gf's away in Amsterdam, its only 4 days and its been all of 12 hours since i dropped her off, and the pain is setting it, i dont know what it is that makes me hurt so much, during mon- friday we hardly see eachother anyway, but still ring n text, but this just feels so much different. I cant get my head round why i feel depressed.

And if i feel like this over 4 days whats 12 weeks basic training going to be like?

So really what im asking is, do i

1. Think of a civilian career, and just see how long me and gf last, see how moving intogether pans out,as we're getting our own place soon in Broughton Manchester.

2. Go for the Army and see what happens between me n her, see if she can move down with me.

3. Slowly but surely start to break things off before i start training.

So yooung and confused
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JACK, MISS YOU LOADS YOU LEGEND.

[WildGoose]

would knock the army idea on the head, its no longer the job it used to be, and its not what they promise you, you can guarantee that

what branch are you going for?

there are no longer the benefits there once were, and there is generally very little money throughout

why do you want to do it? you need to be made aware of what you are giving up

there is a 6 month get out clause once you first start, so you could give it a try and come out if its not for you

do you want to go to afghanistan and fight for american foreign policy?
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So in other words, he stopped you for being flagrantly in posession of a motorcycle in direct contravention of the Hippies, Darkies and People Whose Face I Don't Like The Look of (Police Powers) Act. 1976

[bindy]

Maybe you are feeling depressed because sub-consciously you may not really want to enter the army. Just a thought. I am probably wrong. But if you really love this girl and the army isnt a real passion and you can imagine doing another job the bugger the army. Move in with her, get another job. Do what your instincts tell you. Make sure she is committed to you first though.

Ask her advice too

[base]

hello, i dont know you or your actually situation, but will hopefully give some advice, you cannot make someone else happy until you are happy, you have todo what you want, you get one shot at life dont have regrets, if you truely want to go i not the army you have to be 100% sure its want you want to do. not only do you have to be physically fit but mentally as well, if you do decide to go into the army and you gf does not support you then let it go there are plenty more fish in the sea, life is forever evolving you have to adapt to make the best of it,

if you were to get a normal job and a place with you gf, again you have to be 100 % sure, at the end of the day you have to be blunt and honest about what you want todo, choose life.

personally if i could go back 10 years or so i would do the same as i did go travelling see the world drink too much beer smoke too much weed chase women, life was good, and now i am settled have a good woman couple of staffys more horse than you can shake a stick at few bikes and shit loads of work keeping everything running, working 12 to 14 hours a day everyday, what can i say life is better than good, because i have no regrets about my life i am doing what makes me happy, life is good.

hope you make the right choice, take it easy

[colin1]

i think a good time to join the army is when the relationship is a bit stale or you have split up

if i were u id put off joining the army for 6-12 months

if u r still very close to your gf, enjoy that while it last because it wont, and then go join the army

if it does last, great as the army wd have fucked it up.
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colin1 is officially faster than god

[Marcg868]

Im going for the Army Air Corp, basically ive got to sign the dotted line the beginning of next week if i want to do it or not.
I have wanted to join the Army since i was about 14/15 and decided i'll wait till im older than the minimum age. Ive had fair share of gf's and sexual partners etc, and have known my current gf for a good 3/4 years just as mates and having the odd fumble. And last year we finally fell for eachother when we were on the college trip, i mean ive had first loves but this feels totally different, after the minor and 1 major argument between us mainly from my insecurity, now after 3 months since that major argument, we both feel totally in love and it gets more serious by the day.

I know we're both only young but had fair share of partners. I just cant decide what i want to do, i want her alot but i also want the Army, if i sign the dotted line i have 6/8 months before first training slot comes available. Do i just sign the dotted line and spend that time with her going away enjoying eachothers company more or what?
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JACK, MISS YOU LOADS YOU LEGEND.

[WildGoose]

if the army is definately what you want to do then yes, i had a great time after i signed the contract and before my join date because your mind is telling you you have a deadline, and you need to make the most of it

however, the army air core i've worked a bit with aircraft and a small amount with the AAC

you will be putting fuel in helicopters, re-arming them, marshalling them around, and will probly be provided with driving licences in order to drive fuel bowsers, land rovers and tractors, fairly worthwhile getting your HGV/LGV out of it, as its expensive and hard to get civilian side, but your minimum term is 4 years, and after spending thousands getting your licences sorted for you, they arent going to let you leave before that time is up

make no mistake, groundcrew is a monkeys job! and it will have its moments of excitement, but ultimately its repetitive and tedious and a fair bit of waiting around is involved, as there is fuck all to do when the aircraft are flying, apart from clean up

the REME take care of all the technical stuff, so you will be doing the most basic of servicing at best, and as far as technical qualifications that are useful outside, you will gain nothing apart from your driving licences

aircraft are required all the time, especially in this day and age, and although lots of the more reliable battlefield helicopters are supplied by the RAF i.e northern ireland and iraq, i would imagine as groundcrew in the army you will get deployed a fair bit

[Marcg868]

Good point, i think most of the jobs ive chosen maybe a bit boring and repetitive.

1. AAC Ground Crew
2. Air Dispatcher RLC
3. Driver Royal Engineers.

I think ive wanted to do it, because i prefer the Outdoor lifestyle and i dont mind. But now i think to myself sometimes, am i only doing this because i feel like i cant get anything else?! Thats what im thinking at this very moment in time. I have a National Diploma in Travel ops, but everywhere i look it seems to be call centre work etc and not alot else without 1 years experience in Travel industry enviroment.
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JACK, MISS YOU LOADS YOU LEGEND.

[Itchy]

[Marcg868]

Yeah and also my 2n job choice is based upon the fact its mainly based in the UK on a RAF base! Id love to find a decent civvilian job with good pay and prospect, but i just dont have any experience. She said to me i dont know if i could cope with you being away for long periods, and that she wants me so much, and we aim to move in together next year, so i can see it going the distance for at least a few more years yet. We've tried living together and it worked well, just her brother moved back to hers so we lost our room together, and it worked brilliantly.
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JACK, MISS YOU LOADS YOU LEGEND.

[Itchy]

you could always work for this travel agent c*nt in whitefield , his wages are pretty crap but he'll take on anyone as long as he can poorly pay them and find all sorts of insane excuses to dock your pay etc

[Marcg868]

It'd have be better than £250-270 a week which im currently on
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JACK, MISS YOU LOADS YOU LEGEND.

[Shaun]

[colin1]

yes

I dont think im being that negative on this occasion, as i think he shd postpone the army thing so he can enjoy his relationship a bit more while its still fresh and exciting.

Its true tho that I will be a bit negative about relationships for a bit, but this is normal with ppl who have just come out of a relationship so I'm not appologising.

I think being in a relationship when it is going well is very enjoyable and it wd be a shame to miss out on that to go into the army.

If he joins the army and they dont spend much time together he will be missing out.
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colin1 is officially faster than god

[Marcg868]

Good points!

And yeah its still exciting, the fact it still is, is because we spread our time out evenly between eachother (sat &sun sometimes wednesdays) and spread the rest of time working or chilling with mates. And it works really well, we used to argue over silly things mainly me and her being insecure, but one major screaming, crying argument did the world of good, we're alot more relaxed,happy and falling deeper and deeper in love. And both planning to get a place together once she gets a full time job and is setteled into the routine.

I just dont want to spoil it by going in the Army, perhaps the RAF is a better option as its more UK based?
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JACK, MISS YOU LOADS YOU LEGEND.

[Spiral]

Just with life in general i think you need to follow your feelings/ gut instincts, if you follow other peoples advice and something doesn't work out you'll be kicking yourself for ages.

If you choose to do something yourself and it doesn't work out big deal. Put it down to experience and move on, if it does work out you can pat yourself on the back.

Everyone in life has regrets but its better that you can put it down to yourself rather than someone else.

If you really want a to go into the military i would say don't count your relationship as a serious one, because when your stuck away from your girl and the relationship is failing it'll fuck your head up and you'll just get pissed of.

If you think this is the girl for you then i wouldn't join the army as life is short and i'd want to spend time with her, my girl is my best friend and i wouldn't want to be apart from her for more than a week.

These are just my own opinions but whatever happens we all make our own decisions.
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****NORTHERN IRELAND NEWSFLASH!!**** According to a recent survey, 94% of loyalists said the best sex they ever had was in the shower; the other 6% haven't been to jail yet.***

[IronMaiden]

Your own words were...

......Id love to find a decent civvilian job and .....we both feel totally in love....

There is your answer. Do what you love and you will be happy!

Good luck !

[Marcg868]

Can safely say im so confused still! 4 days she has been away, she ended up in tears, and i nearly was to because i dont like seeing her upset. I dont think we could cope, she says go for it because its what i want, but i also think from what my heart tells me, this is the one person i would love to spend rest of my life with. After all the shitty arguin and insecurity in the first 6 months, its turned around completely, we are so much closer, happier. She was, and still is one of my best mates, i met her when i was 14 and we got on so well even then as just friends, and finally got together march last year.

But even tho my heart says be with her, my parents, friends and head say join the Army really dunno
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JACK, MISS YOU LOADS YOU LEGEND.

[Itchy]

Bloody hell , has the UK gone down the pan so much that opportunities are so scarce / employers totally unrealistic* that the only real career choice is joining the armed forces , and to think everybody thought the age of cannon fodder was over.



*employers I've seen have recently become so unrealistic they want people with 5+ years experience for less than 12K.

[Marcg868]

Well i got a medical discharge after 5 weeks and 3 days ( sorry for being so specific its a sad ocd ) that was when i was 17 and didnt have any major committments like a girlfriend, and i said once my knee ligaments had healed and got plate out id sign up, well i had my op last year on knee, then i got with Lynz (gf) and here we are. Its a great lifetstyle, hell i even loved phase 1, the banter was fucking stupendously amusing, but i would be one of those people with a huge bill, maybe i should see how relationship pans out this year, if its still going strong by say september, settle down into my Scaffolding training and go college. And if its not just go for it.

Good plan or am i being stupid?
____________________
JACK, MISS YOU LOADS YOU LEGEND.

[Itchy]

[Marcg868]

ive only just turned 20 and her 18! So still pretty young, both only just out of college
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JACK, MISS YOU LOADS YOU LEGEND.

[Itchy]

well then consider this:

things like apprecenticeships are usually limited to those under 21 or more rarely 25 , such that things like the scaffolding thing which I presume is an apprenticeship , can't be held off while the army can be,

[Marcg868]

Good point, all i need is some better money, im struggling on £250 a week at the moment, or if i have a day off for current Army/RAF interview. It goes down to £210 a week. Pretty turd wages. All i want is say a 14k a year job, preferably monday to friday either Trade like im in or a Simple office job or working for O2 at call centre or a Travel industry job, but its just so hard to find something that doesnt need 1 years experience!
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JACK, MISS YOU LOADS YOU LEGEND.

[Itchy]

why do you wanna work at the O2 call centre like the one in Bury? , many of my mates have worked there and consider it to be an awful place to work , unrealistic targets that can only be met via cheating and bosses spying on you all the time so you have to be nice even to BOFH callers.

anyway there are junior office jobs , that don't require exp , but they come at a cost :

#1 pretty crap pay for 6 months usually
#2 you have to take shit , and bite your tongue which contradicts my principle of don't take shit

then again theres no real way round this I spent ages biting my tongue to get my limited experience.