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| Itchy |
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 Itchy Super Spammer

Joined: 07 Apr 2005 Karma :     
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 Posted: 13:44 - 24 Aug 2006 Post subject: Women and bad BFs? |
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Why is it that women are seemingly real or otherwise imagined always with blokes who treat them badly?.
BWFC has recent example , I've seen a recent example a woman who works down stairs in another office always has 'falls down the stairs'.
Any ideas? ____________________ Spain 2008France 2007Big one 2009 We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. In the end, your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it is worth watching. |
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| LustyLew |
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 LustyLew World Chat Champion

Joined: 19 Apr 2004 Karma :  
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 Posted: 13:56 - 24 Aug 2006 Post subject: |
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I think it starts as a normal happy relationship. Then usually something makes it turn sour. The bloke begins to treat the woman like shite. This in turn lowers her self confidence and self esteem. That in mind, she becomes emotionally weak and feels that she is not worth very much and will begin to wonder why anyone would see anything in her.
At this stage, blokey can then easily stick around while treating her like crap as she feels she cant get anyone better.
On the flip-side, it can happen to men too. It's happened to me before... But I got control!  ____________________ Like a Yorkie - I'm not for the girls  |
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| Dragonfly |
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 Dragonfly Super Spammer

Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Karma :     
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| Dragonfly |
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 Dragonfly Super Spammer

Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Karma :     
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| Trixie |
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 Trixie World Chat Champion

Joined: 27 Jul 2005 Karma :   
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 Posted: 14:11 - 24 Aug 2006 Post subject: |
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Wow, that's shit. All credit to you for getting out of that hell.
Respect  ____________________ Dead nobodies in company cars... |
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| Dragonfly |
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 Dragonfly Super Spammer

Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Karma :     
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 Posted: 14:22 - 24 Aug 2006 Post subject: |
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I do pity people that are stuck in that situation though. i dont want to give to much detail as most cant listen to them but i think yuo got the jist.
But i learned from it and take it as a positive now what happened, as i always say karma will get him and from what i hear it has big time.
Thanks trixie  ____________________ All the breast.
Muzza on Binge:
He's too busy beating the everloving shit out of Lizzie to notice this thread has taken a turn down Drama Avenue and stopped off at the popcorn shop. |
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| Dark |
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 Dark World Chat Champion

Joined: 02 Jun 2004 Karma :  
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 Posted: 14:44 - 24 Aug 2006 Post subject: |
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Glad you broke free Dragonfly, no-one deserves to be treated like that
My other half experienced something very similar, she was psychologically abused to the point where she had zero self confidence and daren't even touch anything in her own home for fear of being beaten up for moving stuff.
She divorced the tw*t and may even having a restraining order on him (not sure on that)
But now shes with me and i try to treat her right ____________________ My Bikes in order:- Yamaha RXS100 / Suzuki X7 250 / Yamaha RD350LC / Kawasaki
KR1S 250 / Kawasaki ZXR750 H2 / Honda C50 / Kawasaki ZX7R P5 / Kawasaki ZX10R / Suzuki GSXR 400 / Honda CBR1100 Blackbird & Yamaha FZR 600 |
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| lozzypop1 |
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 lozzypop1 Certified MILF!

Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Karma :   
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| Mary Jane |
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 Mary Jane Traffic Copper
Joined: 11 Jul 2005 Karma :     
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 Posted: 16:25 - 24 Aug 2006 Post subject: |
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Might be worth mentioning, abuse doens't always come with broken bones and bruises. I have a friend who was actually releived when her ex hit her, becuase there was actual physical proof on the outside of her body, instead of constantly having to live with what he was doing to her emotionally.
When I separated from my ex, someone advised me to go to a support group at a battered women's shelter. I didn't think I belonged there. He'd never physically hit me. But I went anyway, and i realised once everyone started talking that I did belong there, becuase I felt exactly the same that they did. I was terrified of him, I felt worthless, and powerless, just like they did.
I dont' have any scars you can see from my life with him, but I do have scars where you can't see. |
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| Dragonfly |
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 Dragonfly Super Spammer

Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Karma :     
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 Posted: 16:53 - 24 Aug 2006 Post subject: |
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Mental abuse is far worse! been there also. When yuor told you are stupid, or fat and useless over and over again yuo feel like it. Its hard to look people in the eye when you dont value yourself. Alot cant understand why but when the man yuo love tells you that its crushing.
There are self esteem groups out there that help woman.
I have heard men go through this also and know men who went through this. ____________________ All the breast.
Muzza on Binge:
He's too busy beating the everloving shit out of Lizzie to notice this thread has taken a turn down Drama Avenue and stopped off at the popcorn shop. |
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| Jebus |
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 Jebus Brolly Dolly

Joined: 10 Jul 2004 Karma :  
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 Posted: 17:54 - 24 Aug 2006 Post subject: |
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there are a lot of dickhead blokes in the world, mental abuse i would say has longer side effects and any man that hits a woman for whatever reason should be slowly beaten to death by a gorilla! ____________________ 2nd time around CBT: 8/9/11
125 Varadero |
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| colin1 |
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 colin1 Captain Safety
Joined: 17 Feb 2005 Karma :  
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| Mary Jane |
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 Mary Jane Traffic Copper
Joined: 11 Jul 2005 Karma :     
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| Dragonfly |
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 Dragonfly Super Spammer

Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Karma :     
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| lozzypop1 |
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 lozzypop1 Certified MILF!

Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Karma :   
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| Teaman |
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 Teaman World Chat Champion

Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Karma :  
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 Posted: 21:33 - 24 Aug 2006 Post subject: |
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its always hell for anyone in that situation
I married one
pots n pans thrown at my head, hitting on front of my kids, wouldnt let me out of the house, accused me of having affairs (yet to figure out the basis of these) stopped me working, took all my money off me. I walked out a few times but ended up back there givin ot one last go for the kids sake and all that, scared me in many ways ill not go into but lets just say after being out of it for 5 years or summat, (no idea anymore lol) I still have to talk to her (cos of the kids) and its difficult when I see her mannerisms in my kids sometimes, It takes all my self controll to keep a lid on it and not be the lynch party if they are bad and not to slag her off infront of them, hell shes teaching them to lie, I remember my son telling my friend he used to have cancer,, Oh how that was fun,
there currently on the protection register because shes a useless cow (not that bad, at least the social services are keeping tabs on her )
This is the first time ive actually gone into detail like that but with the current situation in my life I know I can live in the now, not in the past.
you just gotta keep ticking over till your time comes I guess
Karma will get those who are in the wrong eventually ____________________ There is no point in ranting about someone stupid because there is nothing u can do about it. There is no cure for stupid.
Someone stupid does not realise they r stupid.stupidity is indistinguishable from malice U just have to accept that some people are thick as p1gsh1t and work around them. |
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| Shaun |
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 Shaun Likes 'em bent

Joined: 17 May 2003 Karma :     
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 Posted: 21:41 - 24 Aug 2006 Post subject: |
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I've seen too many women who sit back and suffer from this type of stuff. A girl at work wouldn't speak to males because her boyfriend would go nuts, it took a lot but eventually she started speaking to me properly. She'd get offended at the smallest of jokes, eventually she overcame this and started answering me back, shocked me at first but I couldn't stop laughing, she was atually really witty.
Then she got out of the relationship, got her confidence back, flirted happily, can now take jokes and gives back just as much as is sent her way.
Now she's back with another prick, shame, she's really good looking too. She does the same again though, avoids speaking to males if he is around because he goes nuts, aparrently he said he was going to beat me up once because he saw me chatting to her on a night out, bullshit, he's all mouth.
Colin, your view is complete bollocks, sometimes recently your opinions have actually been spot on, seems you still have an issue with females though and you really need to sort it out. |
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| lo_iq2000 |
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 lo_iq2000 Two Stroke Sniffer

Joined: 01 Aug 2006 Karma :   
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| Pte1643 |
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 Pte1643 Nearly there...

Joined: 07 Aug 2006 Karma :     
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| Metal_Mickey |
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 Metal_Mickey Nitrous Nuisance

Joined: 29 Apr 2005 Karma :    
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| Redliner |
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 Redliner Spanner Monkey

Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Karma :  
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| colin1 |
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 colin1 Captain Safety
Joined: 17 Feb 2005 Karma :  
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| Jebus |
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 Jebus Brolly Dolly

Joined: 10 Jul 2004 Karma :  
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 Posted: 00:34 - 25 Aug 2006 Post subject: |
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yeah being a nice guy sucks but the right girl will come along eventually! and yeah most guys are attracted to slighty mad girls becuase its a very attrative personality factor! ____________________ 2nd time around CBT: 8/9/11
125 Varadero |
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| colin1 |
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 colin1 Captain Safety
Joined: 17 Feb 2005 Karma :  
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| lozzypop1 |
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 lozzypop1 Certified MILF!

Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Karma :   
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 Posted: 00:45 - 25 Aug 2006 Post subject: Re: Women and bad BFs? |
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WHOA!!! Now you guys, This is exactly why I haven't made my post yet.... If it goes in this direction it's just going to end up as a slanging match!
| Itchy wrote: | I've seen a recent example a woman who works down stairs in another office always has 'falls down the stairs'.
Any ideas? |
Fact of the matter is that Itchy wondered on peoples views on WHY women stay with (reading between the lines.. see above) VIOLENT men.
Of course happens to both sexes (1 in 4 women have or will be a victim and 1 in 6 men), It's disgusting either way and there is no excusing it. It works out that on average, a woman in a violent relationship will be attacked 35 times before she reports it to the police.
BUT... again as pointed out...
| Quote: | some women wind men up and make the situation worse |
And some deserve the odd warning! (maybe not going so far as being hit) all the same!
Fact of the matter is, Violent relationships are not a partnership. They are very one-sided and it's all about control, be that mental or physical. The abuser relies on the weakness of the abused in order to get what they want.
Women stay because they feel that there's no way to support herself financially, that she has no where else to go.
Often there have been threats that if she leaves he will hunt her down and beat her worse than before, or that because she is a bad mother (headwork) the children will be taken from her, this coupled with messing with the kids heads, moving them from familiar surroundings, friends, etc.
Half the time the woman doesn't even realise how bad the situation is, as it's been built up over a long period of time. The first incident is never a big one, more likely to be a flash of temper followed by the infamous words "It'll never happen again."
Family also put pressure on the woman to stay, albeit without them knowing what's really going on behind closed doors, Things like "Think of the children" or having been told that it would never work out. This can make you feel like you HAVE to make it work.
It's also a real scary prospect to have to pack up your things, move to an area where no one knows who you are and lie to your friends (if you keep in touch) or lose them completely.
Better the devil you know! (or so it seems)
There... I think i've done enough thinking on this matter now.. it seems to be flowing quite freely!  ____________________ Funny, I used to hate being spanked as a child!
Tell me and I'll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I'll understand. |
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Old Thread Alert!
The last post was made 19 years, 203 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful? |
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