I've bought a defibrilator

Korn · Admin Joined: 01 Feb 2002 Karma :

Since I'm currently stuck at home sitting on my arse I've been trying to make some sort of attempt at doing exercise - so I don't turn into a complete couch potato by the time I can walk again. Now while scouring eBay for exercise weights one of the things I found was one of these machines that lets you stick pads to yourself and then makes your muscles contract for you while you sit in bed watching TV. Interesting, thinks I, so I put in a bid just for the sake of it and lo and behold I ended up winning.

So this thing arrives today, in a little plastic case, and me being me I get it out and start plugging things in and connecting things up without even a thought to looking at the instructions. Sitting on the edge of the bed with two of these pad things attached to my gut I turn the little dial up half way and press the button...

Shocked

Holy shit. I have never been inclined to connect myself to the national grid before but I now have a pretty good idea of what it would feel like. This thing could re-animate the dead, in fact I'm pretty sure that if amnesty international got hold of one they would press for an immediate ban.

So... I propose a contest, preferably to be held on an occasion when the participants are suitable pissed to dull some of the excruciating pain this device delivers. Whoever can sit through one 2 second pulse of this thing cranked up to MAX shall be proclaimed 'ard bastard in chief. Who's with me?

I will not be held responsible if you die, though I will do my best to restart your heart should the need arise.
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3516 Miles, 11 Countries

Bendy · Mrs Sensible Joined: 10 Jun 2002 Karma :

I've seen them on QVC and they do always seem to be demonstrated by an incredibly wizened woman who grimaces quite a lot when she turns it on, and then boasts about how she can use it at maximum, something that should never be attempted by mere beginners.

Like the sound of the challenge tho... does the manual have recommended settings for hobbits? Twisted Evil

TiN · Pocket Tin Joined: 14 Feb 2002 Karma :

Hmm...reminds me of one of my favourite scenes in the Jackass movie. Laughing

Should make an interesting "extra" on the BCF DVD... Wink

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TiN
dotgems.net

ProXimaCore · Dougal Joined: 01 May 2003 Karma :

Those things do feel weird. I only have the stomach one but I opted for the advanced one at £150! Shocked

I use it at maximum setting for up to an hour at a time. I thought i could make good use of it at work since i sat at a computer all day. It made phone conversations quite difficult. Laughing

Susi · Whitton Girl Joined: 06 Jun 2003 Karma :

You know I've always been inclined to try them, but I fear that it will kill me as I've been electrocuted quite a few times in the past and screamed for my life. The first time I got electrocuted (I'm talking about big charges not small ones) was in a supermarket whilst touching the counter and trying to pick up a bottle of liquid softener. The second was my own fault for putting my tongue a wire that was basically plugged into the mains. Stupid I know, but at the time I really wasn't thinking Rolling Eyes

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Sometimes, I like to think I'm 'spe-cial'.

Stew · Posted: 16:43 - 19 Dec 2003 Post subject:

Lol, try strapping it to your arm. I have done this before and I nearly smacked myself in the face (note the electrical pulse force your hand to open , so at least your hand wont be a clenched fist).
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"Unlike public school you don't need to have your arse up and your head down to go a long way...."

Ste · Not Work Safe Joined: 01 Sep 2002 Karma :

Do what they did and Jackass and attach it to your balls. Exclamation

ProXimaCore · Dougal Joined: 01 May 2003 Karma :

A group of my mates once put 2 pads on one of my other mate's face while he was asleep and turned it on full blast. It was the funniest thing ever. Laughing

Jay · Nova Slayer Joined: 23 Nov 2003 Karma :

Me and two mates had a right laugh with them once.
Seeing who could keep them on for the longest in stupid places around your body. Razz

I think the worst place was on your teeth. Confused

They can really teach you a thing or two on dancing as well when you watch your mate twisting and wriggling around the room. Laughing

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Ste · Not Work Safe Joined: 01 Sep 2002 Karma :

2 seconds? It'd most people longer than that to realise that pain is occuring when they're well pissed Smile

Jay · Nova Slayer Joined: 23 Nov 2003 Karma :

Dusty · King of the Rim Joined: 25 Mar 2003 Karma :

m i k e · Could Be A Chat Bot Joined: 17 Apr 2003 Karma :

Get me a keg and a few other various buckets of beverages, and i'll give it a go! Very Happy

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Bom Chicka WAHHH WAHHHHHHH!

Jay · Nova Slayer Joined: 23 Nov 2003 Karma :

m i k e · Could Be A Chat Bot Joined: 17 Apr 2003 Karma :

Syfoon · TRUCK!!! Joined: 29 Apr 2003 Karma :

John · World Chat Champion Joined: 27 Apr 2003 Karma :

Argh, HATE those things.

Somewhere we've got an old one, it makes sparks though, and makes the room smell of electricity.

Hmm.

mr jamez · World Chat Champion Joined: 04 Aug 2003 Karma :

I didn't realise electricity had a smell Wink

Sounds like something your mum would say Laughing