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Common biker "Jokes"...

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Method
World Chat Champion



Joined: 02 Nov 2004
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PostPosted: 14:18 - 24 Jan 2008    Post subject: Common biker "Jokes"... Reply with quote

When walking into a dealership and confronted by a salesman simply asking if you require any assistance, please refrain from the following replies:

"Only if you can convince the missus!"

"Not unless i want to get divorced..."

"Depends, any of them are free?"

"Well, if your giving some away...?"

The list goes on... I hear these "jokes" 3/4 times a day! They arent "new", they arent "original", and most certainly are not "funny"!

So next time, please just give a decent answer of "No thanks mate, just having a browse."

Also, while im on the subject - sitting on a bike and bouncing up and down on it against the rear suspension vigorously, does not give you a true feel for the bike! Wink

[/rant]
Very Happy
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Kal
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PostPosted: 14:38 - 24 Jan 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

and I thought the only jokes in dealerships were the stickers on the bikes... Wink
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mark83
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PostPosted: 14:45 - 24 Jan 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, if you want us to stop making jokes to you, you should stop answering with a joke when we ask you to give us a part-ex value on our current bike!

Razz
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Walloper
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Joined: 24 Feb 2005
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PostPosted: 14:56 - 24 Jan 2008    Post subject: Re: Common biker "Jokes"... Reply with quote

Method wrote:
When walking into a dealership and confronted by a salesman simply asking if you require any assistance, please refrain from the following replies:

"Only if you can convince the missus!"

"Not unless i want to get divorced..."

"Depends, any of them are free?"

"Well, if your giving some away...?"

The list goes on... I hear these "jokes" 3/4 times a day! They aren't "new", they aren't "original", and most certainly are not "funny"!

So next time, please just give a decent answer of "No thanks mate, just having a browse."

Also, while I'm on the subject - sitting on a bike and bouncing up and down on it against the rear suspension vigorously, does not give you a true feel for the bike! Wink

[/rant]
Very Happy


Top Tip:
It has now been confirmed.
Don't waste time joking with a bike dealer.
They are devoid of humour.

Cheers for that Method. Thumbs Up Razz

Don't ask, "Do you have any bikes that aren't Stolen? Or do you only have these trade-ins?"

(Speeling Chequed and korrektid for you matey!)
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AppleJoe
Brolly Dolly



Joined: 02 Dec 2007
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PostPosted: 15:03 - 24 Jan 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

I smiled when reading those, if I go into a dealer I'll use at least one from now on Thumbs Up

I can tell this is going to turn into a 'people V bike salesmen' thread Laughing
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Last edited by AppleJoe on 15:09 - 24 Jan 2008; edited 1 time in total
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G
The Voice of Reason



Joined: 02 Feb 2002
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PostPosted: 15:07 - 24 Jan 2008    Post subject: Re: Common biker "Jokes"... Reply with quote

Method wrote:
When walking into a dealership and confronted by a salesman simply asking if you require any assistance, please refrain from the following replies:

So next time, please just give a decent answer of "No thanks mate, just having a browse."

If it worries you, don't walk up to random people and hassle them Wink.
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Barry_M2
World Chat Champion



Joined: 09 Sep 2004
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PostPosted: 15:10 - 24 Jan 2008    Post subject: Re: Common biker "Jokes"... Reply with quote

G wrote:
If it worries you, don't walk up to random people and hassle them Wink.


Exactly!!!

If I want any help, I'm quite capable of asking. Thumbs Up Wink
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colin1
Captain Safety



Joined: 17 Feb 2005
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PostPosted: 15:51 - 24 Jan 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

to be fair, some people are shy

someone on here complained a while ago, that they had gone into a bike shop and walked around a bit, and no one had asked them if they needed any help.

Feeling neglected and unwanted they then left although they had wanted to buy something Smile
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Method
World Chat Champion



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PostPosted: 16:23 - 24 Jan 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

Im not a salesman Smile

Im just saying, bring something original into the place, please Very Happy
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Full Test Dec 04... Suzuki GS500 Jan 05... Suzuki SV650 Mar 07... Gixxer 6 K5 May 08... Oh and my 'Rado Wink
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Wafer_Thin_Ham
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PostPosted: 16:32 - 24 Jan 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

Like the one I get at work(Waitrose) all the time when I'm tidying the shelves at the end of the night.

"I'll just mess this up for you" * Customer takes product from shelf*

It wasn't funny the first 200 times I heard it. Laughing
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Madmanx
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Joined: 22 Dec 2007
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PostPosted: 16:39 - 24 Jan 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="colin1"]to be fair, some people are shy

I,m very shy, I often go into our local dealers after extracting a few grand in used 50,s and stuff them in my pockets with a few draped out just to tease the salesman into having a preconseption that I may buy that 9grand Ducati which is just gathering dust and depreciating by the second.
I love mind fucking salesmen!!! Rolling Eyes Thumbs Up
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Bendy
Mrs Sensible



Joined: 10 Jun 2002
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PostPosted: 16:42 - 24 Jan 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nobody asking if I needed help after 20 mins wandering around 'Motorcycle City' meant I took my £3500 cash to Chiswick Honda instead.

Which was probably for the best, in retrospect.
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Walloper
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PostPosted: 17:01 - 24 Jan 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

Big_Ham wrote:
Like the one I get at work(Waitrose) all the time when I'm tidying the shelves at the end of the night.

"I'll just mess this up for you" * Customer takes product from shelf*

It wasn't funny the first 200 times I heard it. Laughing


It's NOT funny?
I say that all the time. Embarassed
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G
The Voice of Reason



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PostPosted: 17:22 - 24 Jan 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

Method wrote:
Im not a salesman Smile

Then stop acting like one Wink.
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Grav
World Chat Champion



Joined: 12 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: 17:33 - 24 Jan 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

Two bikers wandered over to their local Harley Dealership and one pointed at the window and said

"There's the one I'd get"

and a Cyclops came out and beat the crap out of him.



I'll get me coat........ Mr. Green
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Walloper
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PostPosted: 19:19 - 24 Jan 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

Grav wrote:
Two bikers wandered over to their local Harley Dealership and one pointed at the window and said

"There's the one I'd get"

and a Cyclops came out and beat the crap out of him.



I'll get me coat........ Mr. Green


It's not a joke thread ya phanny.... Mad Laughing
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Grav
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PostPosted: 02:09 - 25 Jan 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

It seemed to be an appropriate place to tell it as Bike salesmen usually only have one eye and its firmly kept on your money. Wink
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McGee
O RLY?



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PostPosted: 02:38 - 25 Jan 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your mums like a dirt bike.

Loves being ragged in the dirt and gets turned on by a few kicks.
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TUG
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PostPosted: 02:38 - 25 Jan 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

Grav wrote:
It seemed to be an appropriate place to tell it as Bike salesmen usually only have one eye and its firmly kept on your money. Wink

Two lads on a bike in winter, the passenger says, mate pull over am cold, rider says, turn your jacket inside out you'll be fine.
Few miles later, they come off,
Rider wakes up in hospital and says, what happend? Doc tells him about his RTA, he then asks about his mate, the doc says,
"well to be honest, he hasnt said anything since we put his head the right way."
I laughed. Thumbs Up
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Mac_Black
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PostPosted: 03:34 - 25 Jan 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

Eh? What??? Am I plain stupid or does that joke just not make sense? Thumbs Down
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Kal
World Chat Champion



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PostPosted: 04:14 - 25 Jan 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

It makes more sense if the rider has it on back to front rather than inside out
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I Like To Hoon It Hoon It I Like To Hoon It Hoon It I Like To Hoon It Hoon It Ya Like To (HOON IT!).

1984 GB250 Clubman,1983 CB250N Superdream, 1999 GPZ500S
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Walloper
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PostPosted: 10:22 - 25 Jan 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank fuck for the bcf Joke Help Desk.
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ken
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PostPosted: 11:23 - 25 Jan 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

And the answers to the questions are.

"Only if you can convince the missus!" well when she is over later I will have a word for you Wink
"
Not unless i want to get divorced..." see above.

"Depends, any of them are free?" yes to a good home... to you sir that £7,995 OTR.

"Well, if your giving some away...?" thats how we stay in business SIR Rolling Eyes
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