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Depression, anger & feeling sick of this shit.

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Blink
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PostPosted: 12:51 - 12 Mar 2008    Post subject: Depression, anger & feeling sick of this shit. Reply with quote

Hi,

Firstly i'm not clinically depressed, far from it. Life, for the whole of it, is mint.

However, just recently i've been feeling like I'm sick of this fucking life situation. I was sat in Uni. this morning, thinking "what the fuck am I doing here, I don't feel any association with these people?". I feel like i'm living a life which I'm simply not happy with.

I'm 22, and thinking I should just bail out and start a fresh.

Has anyone managed to turn their life around? What the fucks going on?
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J0Al1
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PostPosted: 13:05 - 12 Mar 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bailing is the easy option. We all feel like that from time to time. It probably won't make it easier in the long run. Stick at it Smile
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Blink
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PostPosted: 13:08 - 12 Mar 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cheers dude. Thumbs Up
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GodzGift
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PostPosted: 13:17 - 12 Mar 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

Keep yourself busy get a job
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qwerty killer
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PostPosted: 13:19 - 12 Mar 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

just think where do i wanna be in 5 years and do it, if you dont have a plan you plan to fail.
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Dragonfly
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PostPosted: 13:50 - 12 Mar 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

qwerty killer wrote:
just think where do i wanna be in 5 years and do it, if you dont have a plan you plan to fail.


Wise words. If you don't like something then change it. Explore every option you can and go with what you think is best. Its your life, live it not just survive it.

why cant I ever take my own advice!
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D O G
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PostPosted: 14:06 - 12 Mar 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

I bailed out of uni in year 2, with four more to go, thinking it was not for me. I think really it was other issues that I was running from (not that it worked).

Eight years on and looking back it wasn't such a bad decision (although manning up at the time would've been better!). Life is pretty good now.

Don't kid yourself that your contempt for the community you're in will neccesarily change when you're in a different environment. I find I don't relate to 99.9% of people.

If you don't like your course, but are near to the end, and likely to leave with a worth degree (2:1 ar above), then stick it out. It will be worth it for the options it will open up.

As someone else said, have a medium term, achieveable plan, as it does motivate. Around three years ago I figured out that th Uk was not for me, and have slowly worked up to the point of being about to leave. Be realistic about timescales.
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Blink
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PostPosted: 15:27 - 12 Mar 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks guys, I really appreciate every input into this thread.

Quote:

Wise words. If you don't like something then change it. Explore every option you can and go with what you think is best. Its your life, live it not just survive it


Cheers. Thats the sort of philosophy I hope to live life by.

I've had life to easy, just taken the easy route without ever planning far ahead, as quertykiller said. When I signed up for uni at 18 I couldn't have given a shit what I want to be/do, But now, at 22 it's hit me that i'm getting old, i'm capable enough to make my own way - is this unhappiness at Uni/this shit child-like lifestyle worth it?

Damafo D.O.G - What did you do when you quit uni? I feel the same, I feel (especially today) I should've stayed in Australia. I was happier as a removal guy than I am an 'academic' (pfff) at a reputable Uni.

dragonfly,qwertykiller,Monkey,Godz - Cheers guys for the sensible input.

My plan - wait to see my half-arsed exam results this summer. If they're okay i'll bear the year, if not I desperatley need to learn a unique skill.
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D O G
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PostPosted: 15:57 - 12 Mar 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

Blink wrote:
Damafo D.O.G - What did you do when you quit uni? I feel the same, I feel (especially today) I should've stayed in Australia. I was happier as a removal guy than I am an 'academic' (pfff) at a reputable Uni.


Left Uni in Feb 2000, went back to home to live with the parents (where I was warmly welcomed Confused ). Got a job working as function bar staff in a ocal hotem where my mate worked. Spent most of my other waking hours smoking weed.

Quit the job in September 2000 to go and work doing telesales, did that for three days then quit since I hate selling (probably as it relies on self confidence, something I was lacking at the time!). Got a job in a Customer Service call centre for Northern Electric & Gas as it was then. Spent most of my remaining time smoking weed.

I realised that the call centre work was not a career. I had known that when I took the job, but needed to do a 9-5 job in order to try and get some structure in my working week, and demonstrate to other employers that I could hold down a daily job.

I started to look for a way into accountancy - since I had enjoyed this at school, and finance was always one of my 'targeted' sectors. My sister got a graduate job (with her 1st class degree from Oxford) at PwC, who had just started to recruit non grads for AAT positions. I applied and by virtue of my good A levels and decent interview performance I got in.

Moved out at the same time, needed to really, living at home was horrendous, and I needed to take some responsibility for my life. I was earning £10k at the time, so as you may imagine things were a little tight. That was September 2001.

Each step along the line was a little 'win' for myself, something I was doing was working out, when all I'd had since I left school was failure and associated shit. It was a long term plan to turn things around.

I met my girlfriend the week I moved out, fucked off my head in Shindig in Newcastle. We're still together over 6 years later and have top drawer daughter too. Realised that the constant weed was bringing me down about three years ago now, quit that and the smoking, and took up cycling - again little things that give you confidence in yourself and what you are doing.

Nothing is ever perfect - but comparing the way I am now with the guy I was eight years ago is like night and day. However you feel now about stuff is not the way you will always feel, its identifying the problems and dealing with them one by one which is the key.

Working out the best way of dealing with them is the hard part.

My departure from Bath was forced in a way - I was repeating a year and was just going to fail again.

Your decision is somewhat more difficult.

I would strongly suggest toughing it out if you are doing ok - and focus on what you want to do afterwards.

Employers generally (other than medics, law and engineering) don't give a fuck what degree you have, as long as you have one. After you have yours, then look to do something you want to.


Last edited by D O G on 15:58 - 12 Mar 2008; edited 1 time in total
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Visitor Q
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PostPosted: 15:57 - 12 Mar 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

Everyone (whos not in uni) forgets how weird the stress is, you get it highly concentrated in week doses. Ive always said you only need to work 1 month, maybe 2 a year cumulatively. The rest is dossing about playing PS". But when you've got work, YOUVE GOT WORK. And it looms at you day and night until the deadline day.
I want to do a masters, but i have to fuck off for a bit. I liked uni, but like you every now and then you just feel totally alone.
It doesn't help that if you're half intelligent you don't need to sorround yourself with a safety net of friends to help you do work, which kind of stops those close-knit circles of friends we usually look down on until we feel depressed.
But i tell you, the realisation you've only got a few months left hits you for six.
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D O G
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PostPosted: 16:06 - 12 Mar 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

bonny_ricardo wrote:
Everyone (whos not in uni) forgets how weird the stress is, you get it highly concentrated in week doses. Ive always said you only need to work 1 month, maybe 2 a year cumulatively. The rest is dossing about playing PS". But when you've got work, YOUVE GOT WORK. And it looms at you day and night until the deadline day.


Why is that so difficult?

In my job I have at least one major deadline every 2-3 weeks. I'm tallking about completing and submitting 30-90 page reports to clients paying tens of thousands of pounds for them.

Yeah you get lulls (like we're in at the moment), but the pressure is more frequent than any Uni course I would think.
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Blink
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PostPosted: 16:18 - 12 Mar 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

Damofo - Mate, cheers for the insight into your life. I know what you mean...If I quit for good i will already reinforce the view that i'm a failure. (I deferred after my 1st year to travel - everyone thought I wouldn't come back).

I too had a weed habit from 17-19. Did it all the time, sadly that was the times when I was making the big decisions, like uni. When under a constant haze of good smoke, the easiest, not the best, option always seems appealling. You find that?

I'm starting to reform, going running etc, working at a hotel part-time but days like today just feels shitty. It kind of ties in what bonny_ricardo says.

Bonny, i presume you're a good self teacher? me too. Days like today I have fuck all to do and it's quite simply shit. My only chance for today is to wander into town alone, (housemates at lecs), then probably get really anger-pissed tonight.

It's good you got into accounting. I was thinking of progressing on my computer skills (used to make fantastic money doing e-commerce sites before I came to Uni)? But, to move back to Aus, I know I need some paper qualifications.

It will be hard to face quitting for good. My estimations in the eyes of my friends/family is already low. I used to be looked upon as the intelligent one who makes good decisions. Now my pre-useless mates are all getting on with their lifes and i'll be back to where I was at 18. But then again...it's my life right?

Bonny, have you graduated now? Thanks for the input guys. Can't say how appreciated it is!
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Visitor Q
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PostPosted: 16:20 - 12 Mar 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

Damofo D.O.G. wrote:


Why is that so difficult?

In my job I have at least one major deadline every 2-3 weeks. I'm tallking about completing and submitting 30-90 page reports to clients paying tens of thousands of pounds for them.

Yeah you get lulls (like we're in at the moment), but the pressure is more frequent than any Uni course I would think.


I mean being able to leave your work at work. Psychologists have long said leave tv's and work etc out of your bedroom so you can link bedroom = sex + sleep. All students live in bedsits, slogging through work for literally 3 days solid with fug all sleep. Pretty certain students have the worst insomnia. I just want to be able to do a 9-5 for a bit, getting home and doing whatever i fancy without any looming revision/deadlines etc that i /should/ be doing.
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AJI
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PostPosted: 16:26 - 12 Mar 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

Uni sucked for me for two of the three years. The course wasn't my thing at all and I didn't have anything in common with anybody. All my best mates were having an awesome time back home, they'd rented a flat, were going out to gigs etc and I was stuck at uni.

Third year, I changed. I got sick of moping about, went out loads in the first week of term with my flatmates who were freshers' reps, and met dozens of people who I'd never spoken to before. Got pissed a lot, had loads of banter each night and the next morning. Went to a careers seminar and decided what I wanted to aim for (Journalism, I'll be starting a Masters this year, using my business degree as a stepping stone). Got a 2.1 in my degree after working my ass off, started going out with an amazing girl, had a fucking awesome summer and two great holidays.

If you're feeling like you're in the wrong place now, it is possible to change things around. May sound clichéd but life is what you make of it. I was a miserable git throughout 2005/6, then had the best year ever last year.

So basically: stick with it Thumbs Up Karma
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Visitor Q
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PostPosted: 16:30 - 12 Mar 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

Blink wrote:

Bonny, i presume you're a good self teacher? me too. Days like today I have fuck all to do and it's quite simply shit. My only chance for today is to wander into town alone, (housemates at lecs), then probably get really anger-pissed tonight.


Bonny, have you graduated now? Thanks for the input guys. Can't say how appreciated it is!


Yeh, not sounding too cocky but i understand everything if i read through it enough times. And i can remember most things. But only for a week long period, so i cant really revise too early (Although this time im going to do the understanding part early, remember teaching myself the entire 'life'cycle of viruses and DNA replication (degree level) in one night from books and lecture slides, and that one night was the night before the exam.

As for graduation, that circus is in july. Really can't be fucked, my dad wants me to score 4 extra tickets... yeh thats going to happen. All ive got to do is my lit review draft & final, dissertation final, and research four essay questions for my vector biology exam (hes very unorthodox, and has set us the exam questions in advance so we have to research and self teach) then just two other exams (herpetology - easy-ish & cancer biology - could be an utter nightmare, much as i enjoy it) and im out of this place.

Considering the prat i made out of myself on my 21st that may not be a bad thing. And my day has been spent spending 90 minutes deciding whether to go to the gym with my 5 day old tat. Decided i will, but ive not moved and i have to get in in the next 30 minutes... Thinking
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D O G
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PostPosted: 16:33 - 12 Mar 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

Blink wrote:
I too had a weed habit from 17-19. Did it all the time, sadly that was the times when I was making the big decisions, like uni. When under a constant haze of good smoke, the easiest, not the best, option always seems appealling. You find that?


Always, and the eaisest thing to do is roll another one Laughing


Good that you stopped the habit, since it does drag you down over time IMO, and you can never hold down a professional job when smoking 5 spliffs a day.
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pa_broon74
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PostPosted: 17:30 - 12 Mar 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

Only decent counter for depression is a good sense of perspective.

Yup, my job might be crap, yes my bike is a sewing machine and yes, I'm still single.

But I'm not seriously ill, I atleast have a job (and the trappings that go with it; roof, food mad money etc etc etc.) My bike goes (maybe not very fast) but its better than no bike and umm the single thing... Eh... Uhuh, I'm thinking...

No thats still shite. Laughing

My point is, have a look at the news and see the human suffering that's going on in the world (here and abroad.) If those people can find a way to live with their lot, it makes it a little easier for you to live with yours.

Thumbs Up
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lofty
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PostPosted: 17:37 - 12 Mar 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

Try and stick at uni if you can, I am only in my first year, two to go, and I really don't like it, but if I stick at my degree (Oceanography) I know that I can get away from all the stress of where I live etc in a few years, and go travelling, or move somewhere like Australia to work.
I, like you, feel that I have nothing in common with anyone I am at uni with, all they do is get trashed. I live at home, work when im not at uni etc, so it's a bit different and because of this only a few have bothered trying to be proper mates with me.
Chin up! Thumbs Up
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Blink
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PostPosted: 17:59 - 12 Mar 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

I feel i've come to the age where I can achieve what I want without a fucking bullet-point on my cv. That's how I feel, but I don't want to look back at my life when i'm 30 and think that my own arrogance destroyed my future.

I feel i'd be more at home doing a college course in motorbike mechanics/graphic design than in a seminar room full of privately educated upper-middle class aspiring lawyers/parental leachers.

Oceanography sounds so interesting. Sadly, I chose to do International Politics, with becoming some well-paid financial advisor/security services personnel but i've changed from that person I was at 18 to now. Gutted. I realise I love the outdoors and despise materialism. I was happier driving around Melbourne in a fucking 10 year old truck moving peoples furniture.

Wow, I sound bitter. Once again, thanks for the input.

pa_boon, I respect your positive perspective! Cheers.
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TUG
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PostPosted: 20:53 - 12 Mar 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

Keep at it mate, am in the same boat and have been since the age of 6 onwards, i keep waiding through the shit an get little rewards but then get knocked down again. Thumbs Up
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Blink
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PostPosted: 21:00 - 12 Mar 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cheers. Hope the motorbike mechanics is goin well for ya. I remember asking you bout that last year. Thumbs Up
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Robby
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PostPosted: 22:46 - 12 Mar 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

If you have a decent reason to stick with the degree, and it sounds like you do (moving to oz) then stick with it.
However, if you want to drop out of uni, you're allowed. If you really hate it, why not leave and get a job - a proper job that is, not a mcjob. If you want to you can always go back to uni after a few years.

A very clever man gave a talk at my school once, and he said something that stuck with me. In the long run, life all made up of options and choices. If you go to uni, you get access to more options in life than not going to uni, but if none of those options appeal to you, you don't have to go there.
The school was very competitive (Top 10 in the league tables AKAIK). He was never invited to talk at the school again, and his name dragged through the mud by all the staff, because he suggested that there was a life other than going through uni.

I never went to uni. If I had gone, I would have been lazy, and ended up with a 2:2 or worse. That wouldn't have opened many doors for me. I got a job instead. I've been there 4 years now, and I'm getting the graduates with crap degrees as my staff, and graduates with good degrees as my bosses. The amusing thing is that they all value me, because whilst I don't have a degree I do have some experience in the job, and its worth a hell of a lot more than a degree.
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colin1
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PostPosted: 02:07 - 13 Mar 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

Whether u stay at uni, or jack it in, its what you do afterwards that counts.

I fucked up my degree, but stuck at it rather than dropping out. I got a low grade so its not worth much, and the experience sapped my confidence, so I have never really made much effort to get decent jobs.

I know of a couple of people on bcf, who dropped out of uni, and then went on to get good jobs.

One by getting into a good company that trained him up with useful skills, then when things werent working out he found something else that was good.

Another guy was doing an ok job that got boring after a while, but built on his experience to do a training course that got him a much better job.

So your problem is not the dilema of whether to stay at uni, or leave, its staying motivated on achieving things either way.

Another thing thats worth mentioning, is even if you feel you don't fit in with people on your course, try to, as a lot of jobs aren't advertised, so if they have connections that get them good jobs, they could be your connections one day. If you know and stay in touch with a lot of people you can find out about opportunities.

I don't know or stay in touch with that many people, but the only reason I have a house, is that a guy who i used to work with, told me about a job that was going. It turned out to be a goldmine as there was loads of commission, and I got the deposit for my house far quicker than I would have otherwise.

Its not what you know, its who you know.

If you ever lose motivation, try looking around and seeing people who are successful but aren't that much better than you if at all, and ask yourself why you shouldn't have what they have ?
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JonB
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PostPosted: 02:34 - 13 Mar 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

lofty wrote:

I, like you, feel that I have nothing in common with anyone I am at uni with, all they do is get trashed. I live at home, work when im not at uni etc, so it's a bit different and because of this only a few have bothered trying to be proper mates with me.
Chin up! Thumbs Up

So what? You're not missing out on much, getting trashed and spending money you haven't really got gets tedious after a while.

You aren't the only student in the world who doesn't get pissed every night. In my house I absolutely hate it, primarily cause I am the only male in the house which is doing my nut in something rotten, but also because most of my housemates are doing mickey mouse degrees that require zero effort and yet they are still destined to fail. One girl in my house gets through at least a bottle of vodka a week and she is a 2nd year and pretty much has been told she is going to fail this year, another goes to bed at 6am, hasn't been to a lecture since November and wakes up at 4pm, I kid you not she is eating breakfast when I am preparing my dinner. The other girl bless her, she's a lovely girl, does all of the cleaning, got herself a part time job as well, but she is doing a pansy course. Seriously she sent me an essay to print off on my printer, and if you call a bibliography consisting of only URLs with no sign of author, publication year, then fuck me is she going to fail big time, especially our uni which is cracking down hard on plagiarism, however our referencing system is wank as it is the Harvard system, but at the same time it isn't. It is called the "Coventry University Harvard system. Anyway I digress.

I pretty much get up at about 10 if I have no 9am lectures, have my breakfast and sit on the PC all day whilst alternating between books. The way I see it is that I am paying nearly £8,000 a year to be here, i'm not going to waste my time when I could be in a job, so I am determined to get at LEAST a 2:1, cause anything less is not worth the energy.

Yet I still have a social life at uni, not with my housemates thats for sure, but my coursemates who on the surface are completely different to me in that they always get pissed, however they are a great bunch of lads and treat me no different even if I don't go out often. In fact when I do go out I think i'm appreciated more as I offer something different, presumably cause I am a prize prick when drunk and say lots of stupid things.

I've found I enjoy uni a lot more since I started limiting how often I go out, I used to go out at least every week, but it's not only money constraints that stop me, it's the fact I don't enjoy it every week. Now I go out maybe once a month to get trashed and I tell you, those nights have been the best of my life. Proper memorable.

That doesn't mean however that I do not procastrinate, you are not a normal student if you do an essay one week before deadline, it is always the night before and I am as guilty as the next person. Laughing

Anyway, i'm waffling (seem to have caught Bonny's disease Razz )

You could always consider joining a Student Union society, at Coventry there is pretty much a society for everything, from something course based, to rock climbing every wednesday, get to meet like minded people and have some fun.

Uni isn't all drinking, puking and being nocturnal. (Well for 5% of them). Razz
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Visitor Q
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PostPosted: 02:47 - 13 Mar 2008    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jon B wrote:


Anyway, i'm waffling (seem to have caught Bonny's disease Razz )



How rude! I dont waffle, i eloquently ramble Wink

As for not going out so much, i know the feeling. But most degrees seem pretty mickey mouse. Whats doing my nut in is i understand the subjects implicitly (at the time, shite memory these days) and put in plenty of effort, yet i rarely get above 70%, meaning im doing /something/ wrong labelling me 'not a first class student' and not one marker has given me an inkling as to what it is Evil or Very Mad
Thats what is doing MY nut in.
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The last post was made 18 years, 160 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful?
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