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Matthie
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PostPosted: 17:29 - 17 Jan 2009    Post subject: Joke Reply with quote

An old Italian man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his
tomato garden, but it was very hard work as the ground was hard.


His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man
wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament


Dear Vincent,


I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant
my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a
garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over because
you would be happy to dig the plot for me.


Love, Dad


A few days later he received a letter from his son.


Dear Dad,


Don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the bodies.


Love, Vinnie


At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug
up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the
old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from
his son.


Dear Dad,


Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under
the circumstances.


Love you, Vinnie
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Tutton says: I hate random hardons, they are so weird...
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Bikeless
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PostPosted: 14:22 - 18 Jan 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Neutral
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Matthie
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PostPosted: 14:26 - 18 Jan 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's because it was posted on here for people to read and laugh at. They don't need to reply telling them how much it made they LOL or whatever.

Confused Laughing
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Tutton says: I hate random hardons, they are so weird...
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Bikeless
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PostPosted: 14:32 - 18 Jan 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

You missed my point,sorry. Laughing
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Charlie
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PostPosted: 14:47 - 18 Jan 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well that was hilarious Rolling Eyes
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dransy
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PostPosted: 15:03 - 18 Jan 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I dont get it!? at all...... Thinking
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Matthie
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PostPosted: 15:14 - 18 Jan 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I found it funny, not bothered if you don't tbh. Laughing
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strag
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PostPosted: 16:13 - 18 Jan 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I actually quite liked it Smile
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TUG
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PostPosted: 02:36 - 19 Jan 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

strag wrote:
I actually quite liked it Smile

+1 lol
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Fawbish
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PostPosted: 09:58 - 19 Jan 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Its refreshing to hear some normal humour, as opposed to the sex driven, drug fueled, current affairs tosh that floats around after every major event.


However.

Still not brilliant Matthie Laughing
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SoND
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PostPosted: 10:23 - 19 Jan 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

What the fvck are the FBI doing in Italy?
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Walloper
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PostPosted: 11:04 - 19 Jan 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

SoND wrote:
What the fvck are the FBI doing in Italy?


Ignore it.
Do not pick at it.

It was shite.
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Dragonfly
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PostPosted: 11:05 - 19 Jan 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just says he was Italian not in Italy. Could be the country side in America Shifty

I thought it was funny Laughing
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Walloper
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PostPosted: 13:08 - 19 Jan 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

dragonfly wrote:
Just says he was Italian not in Italy. Could be the country side in America Shifty

I thought it was funny Laughing



Wasn't
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Matthie
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PostPosted: 13:22 - 19 Jan 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I didn't write it. Laughing
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Tutton says: I hate random hardons, they are so weird...
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MinhDinh
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PostPosted: 13:35 - 19 Jan 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

well i found it okay. i must be dumb because i had to read it twice and then i got the idea of it Smile
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Dragonfly
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PostPosted: 14:03 - 19 Jan 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Walloper wrote:
dragonfly wrote:
Just says he was Italian not in Italy. Could be the country side in America Shifty

I thought it was funny Laughing



Wasn't


Matter of opinion really. Better than dead baby jokes anyway. Thumbs Up
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chillpill
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PostPosted: 14:18 - 19 Jan 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

whats the differnce between a pile of dead babys and desmosedici ducati , i dont have a ducati in my garage
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MinhDinh
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PostPosted: 17:17 - 19 Jan 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

chillpill wrote:
whats the differnce between a pile of dead babys and desmosedici ducati , i dont have a ducati in my garage


i dream for both
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killa
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PostPosted: 17:40 - 19 Jan 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

While on the Italian theme...

Guido the Italian Lover

A virile, middle aged Italian gentleman named Guido was relaxing at his favourite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde woman. Things progressed to the point where he invited her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he rattled her senseless.

After a pleasant interlude he asked with a smile, "So, you finish?"

She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, "No."

Surprised, Guido reached for her and the rattling resumed.

This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion. The sex finally ends and, again, Guido smiles and asks, "You finish?"

Again, after a short pause, she returns his smile, cuddles closer to him and softly says, "No."

Stunned, but damned if he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied, Guido reaches for the her yet again. Using the last of his strength, he barely manages it, but they end together screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets.

Exhausted, Guido falls onto his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head, he looks into her eyes, smiles proudly and asked again, "You finish?"

Barely able to speak, the beautiful blond whispers in his ear, "No, I'm Norwegian."
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LankyPaddy
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PostPosted: 18:07 - 19 Jan 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

killa wrote:
...

Favourite bit of that is how sex is referred to as "rattling". 'He rattled about inside her' Very Happy
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Walloper
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PostPosted: 21:01 - 19 Jan 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Once in Italy two nuns were cycling towards the Vatican.
They decided to take a shortcut down a back street to beat the afternoon traffic.
As they were going along one of the nuns said to the other, "Oh I've never came this way before."
"Yes Sister." said the other nun, "It must be the cobbles."
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LankyPaddy
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PostPosted: 22:01 - 19 Jan 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Walloper wrote:
...Nuns..

2 Nuns in the bath, one says "Wears the soap?"
other replies "Does, doesn't it"
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Matthie
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PostPosted: 03:31 - 21 Jan 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have never got that soap nun joke, can someone explain it to me? Laughing
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Tutton says: I hate random hardons, they are so weird...
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chillpill
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PostPosted: 12:54 - 21 Jan 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

dildo soap Razz
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Old Thread Alert!

The last post was made 17 years, 260 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful?
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