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How far would you go for someone?

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Renton
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PostPosted: 01:07 - 17 Feb 2009    Post subject: How far would you go for someone? Reply with quote

What I want to know is, would you put yourself at risk for being with someone?

My partner has a violent past, people who don't let things go so easily. I worry about her saftey a lot, but it got me thinking that if something were to happen and I was with her, I don't think I'd be completely un scathed.

Not a lot scares me, but these people do.
How do you think you would feel in the said circumstances?
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Eddie Hitler
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PostPosted: 01:15 - 17 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd get the fuck out.
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Itchy
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PostPosted: 01:17 - 17 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Give it a whirl and it if all falls apart, leave very quickly even if they apologise profusely and promise never to let it happen again more than likely it will happen.

In that people often pedestal a partner ie you think he/she is better than others and tend to forgive them and take them back only to suffer yet more 'unpleasantness'.

Many on the BCF will state that such people will never change and thus one strike and you're out is giving them a chance and not to be prejudiced.

Myself I take no crap at all , but then that might explain why I'm near 30 and not had a long relationship with anybody.

And in the world there are plenty of fish...
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Renton
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PostPosted: 01:21 - 17 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Eddie

Thought I'd get that reaction...I've thought about it myself. I don't want to though, like I said, not a lot scares me....so I don't want to waste what I could have with her because I'm worried about what may or may not happen.

She hasn't heard from that crowd in 18 months but someone was banging on her door tonight for a while and I couldn't get over because I'm bikeless so no transport.

Quote:
Itchy

I sadly know about the whole "It will never happen again" routine - never used to take crap from anyone untill one girl (prevous g/f) i decided to be a bit more comprimising with, did not bode well for me at all - so I'm steering clear in future when I hear that.

I'm not trying to look for reasons to stay with her, cos I don't need to, I think she's mustard. I just don't really know how I feel about the whole violence thing affecting me.
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Last edited by Renton on 01:32 - 17 Feb 2009; edited 1 time in total
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Itchy
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PostPosted: 01:27 - 17 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was thinking you were a woman with a BF who had beaten up exes.

Erm again plenty of fish in the sea , as again , evolution has foisted on us a concept of Love, which is as said before is an evolutionary trait designed to give children the best start in life. 15 million years has allowed your mind to defeat evolution think logically.

In that sorry to be harsh but what is so special about her that other women do not have such qualities?.

In that is it body / personality / unusual sexual skill / confidence she gives you etc?.

Such traits are found in OTHER women also, in that a few BCFers who shall remain unnamed Wink found women who were wild in bed or had incredible oral skills , after splitting up they found other women with such skills.

I do sometimes look back and think oh with a few girlies I've been with and think what could have been but can't change the past and that my memory idealises the situation.
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Renton
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PostPosted: 01:41 - 17 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can understand the girl comment, it's not something you'd hear a guy ask lol.

I tend to be very care free, and like to live for the moment not what else could be. So when you say there are plenty of fish in the sea...I know this, I just choose not to own a fishing rod.

I want to carry on with my life as normal and if anyone wants to share the eperience with me then I'm all for it. I'm no the type of person to be out looking for a relationship because they need the emotional security, I'm more take it or leave it....with morals, as faithlessness gets you no where.

Sexual gratification is where a fuck buddy comes in handy.
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Dischord
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PostPosted: 03:11 - 17 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Who are 'these people' and what's so bad about them? If someone is threatening the safety of you or your girlfriend deal with it - call the police or better yet do something about it yourself.
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GhostRider
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PostPosted: 15:52 - 17 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dischord wrote:
Who are 'these people' and what's so bad about them? If someone is threatening the safety of you or your girlfriend deal with it - call the police or better yet do something about it yourself.


+1, I think to get an answer out of this it's necessary to know the situation properly, i.e what do these people want with your girl? Why are they after her? What's their track record? Can they be gotten to if worst comes to worst?

Know thy enemy an all that.

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arry
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PostPosted: 16:07 - 17 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

A lot would depend on circumstances but if I had no attachments to a particular area, then I would up and leave with her - move into a flat/house somewhere else and just have the bills in my name.

However, and don't take this the wrong way, people with this sort of history in my experience don't tend to leave it in their past - those who court trouble often do so for life. Last thing you want is to set up home somewhere else and find out she's invited him round for a cuppa because he's a "changed man"........
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MarJay
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PostPosted: 17:23 - 17 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

what are you? A man or a mouse?
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Handsome
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PostPosted: 17:48 - 17 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Might sound wanky to some, but for THE woman, as far as it took...
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Renton
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PostPosted: 21:41 - 18 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I had written a reply to each of you, but my fucking laptop keeps jumping back a browser and I loose all info - can't be arsed to type it all again.

Basically without plastering too many details on the interweb, this group aint the sort to be scared by the Police. Last time the Met was called they didn't do anything, which only attracts more attention.

In all honesty, I don't think I can explain what kind of people they are without it sounding like a plot to a Guy Ritchie film. I know that sounds a bit funny but that's how it is.

Whatever happens, if anything (hopefully nothing though) it will be out of my control. They are a crowd she used to run with because she used to live with the main guy.

It's not petty shit like an ex who shagged someone else, if that were the case I'd do something myself. I don't know the full story because I haven't asked her to tell me, and I'm not going to ask unless it comes up in conversation. I just know that they are not exactly wanting to have lunch with her.

I'm not thinking about settling down with her because we haven't been together all that long and I'm not sappy, so moving else where isn't going to happen.

MarJay, I'm a man, with brass ones, but their is pride....and then there is stupidity. I'm not being a fanny, or trying to make things sound worse than they are. I realise I am being vague, there is a reason for that, but I'm being honest.

I just want to know what you guys would do in a similar situation?
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Renton
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PostPosted: 21:42 - 18 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Double post.

Nothing special here..... Whistle
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Irezumi aka Reuben
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PostPosted: 21:57 - 18 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Unless you move fairly far away or do enough to deter those people, and the amount of deterrent needed depends on the eprson, then those people will never be out of her life. It's as simple as that.

They will always turn up when they need to/want to.
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Renton
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PostPosted: 23:32 - 18 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Reuben wrote:
Unless you move fairly far away or do enough to deter those people, and the amount of deterrent needed depends on the eprson, then those people will never be out of her life. It's as simple as that.

They will always turn up when they need to/want to.


Thanks Thumbs Up . I had thought that, but then she's said it has been 18 months since anything significent has happend.

I dunno, mayb I'm worrying too much because I know that if something were to happen that it wouldn't just be a bit of a scuffle.

I don't want to worry about it, I just want to get on with things and enjoy our time together. It's not on my mind all the time, but certain things happen that remind me, like the other night we were driving back from town and she had to pull in to a car park and turn the lights off real quick to loose someone.

I think it would have to take a lot for me to stop seeing her.
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GhostRider
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PostPosted: 23:37 - 18 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chalky wrote:
I had written a reply to each of you, but my fucking laptop keeps jumping back a browser and I loose all info - can't be arsed to type it all again.

Basically without plastering too many details on the interweb, this group aint the sort to be scared by the Police. Last time the Met was called they didn't do anything, which only attracts more attention.

In all honesty, I don't think I can explain what kind of people they are without it sounding like a plot to a Guy Ritchie film. I know that sounds a bit funny but that's how it is.

Whatever happens, if anything (hopefully nothing though) it will be out of my control. They are a crowd she used to run with because she used to live with the main guy.

It's not petty shit like an ex who shagged someone else, if that were the case I'd do something myself. I don't know the full story because I haven't asked her to tell me, and I'm not going to ask unless it comes up in conversation. I just know that they are not exactly wanting to have lunch with her.

I'm not thinking about settling down with her because we haven't been together all that long and I'm not sappy, so moving else where isn't going to happen.

MarJay, I'm a man, with brass ones, but their is pride....and then there is stupidity. I'm not being a fanny, or trying to make things sound worse than they are. I realise I am being vague, there is a reason for that, but I'm being honest.

I just want to know what you guys would do in a similar situation?


The fact that you don't know the full details of her part in all this is concerning. If there was a possibility of my door coming off at 3 in the morning then I'd want to know the in's and outs, and I think if she was a decent enough person then she should be happy enough to tell you because that's just being fair to say the least - kinda you take me on then you also take on my past sort of thing.

I;d never bother with the police anyway mate, the only realistic outcome of any altercation is that you will be arrested and then have more grief for being a nark anyway. Oh an they'll be free to carry on as they please.

Get to the bottom of it so that you can get a better picture of what you've let yourself in for. Forewarned is forearmed an all that.

GhostRider
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I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.
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JodieWodie
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PostPosted: 23:48 - 18 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would punch her in the titz
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Renton
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PostPosted: 00:01 - 19 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think you're right GhostRider, but that's only if I am to go all arms blazing. Would need to call in some massive favours for that, just a shame I don't have any owing lol.

I personally have never found the Police worth my piss, so I wouldn't bother with them anyway.

The reason I ain't asked her ALL about it is cos I know she ain't exactly proud of the life she used to lead so I don't wanna bug her about it all the time. I know I'll find out more, but in time. I used to lead a life not far off what she used to and have always found people asking too many questions a little too intrusive for my liking.

I don't think we should regret our pasts, as it makes us part of who we are today, but I can understand when people don't consider parts to be particularly memorable either.
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Renton
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PostPosted: 00:03 - 19 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

JodieWodie wrote:
I would punch her in the titz


Thank you kindly for your constructive in put.

Remind me at some point to kick you in the vage.
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Shaun
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PostPosted: 01:31 - 19 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

JodieWodie wrote:
I would punch her in the titz


I reckon if I had to spend more than 5 minutes near him I'd punch Titz too.
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MarJay
But it's British!



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PostPosted: 09:05 - 19 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

JodieWodie wrote:
I would punch her in the titz


There's no reason to bring Titz into this (Unless he wears an offensive T shirt about rape).
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Clanger
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PostPosted: 22:40 - 28 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

If she's special to you - then upsticks and move the hell away from it all. Make no contact with anyone attached and make a new life for yourselves.

Disappear...it's easily done, if you both definitely want a fresh start.
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L-Jam
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PostPosted: 13:10 - 01 Mar 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know what you mean by people who cannot be threatened by Police, as my dad is a doorman and one or two of his mates carry Uzi's, know people who make people dissapear etc. The long and short of it is, you cannot make peace with these people, unless you are fucking solid you wont stand a chance against them and if you do they will come back and kill you, the only way you can win is by A. extreme violence toward them, which 99% of the time will involve you having very hard friends, or B. Fucking off somewhere else, or leaving the girl. In any case mate, I would ask for the full story off the girl, as shes putting shit on your plate.
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Renton
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PostPosted: 23:47 - 01 Mar 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't get me wrong, I know some very un pleasent people, but I don't wanna be goin down that road for summit that ain't my battle........yet.

The relationship is new and no one is declaring their un dying love, so upping and moving ain't happening.

Nothing has happened recently, which is nice, but sometimes I just like to know my options in case.

I tend to be very laid back and just take things as they come, but I guess sometimes, it just doesn't hurt to have a plan.



Ah well, things are all good at the mo and that's what I'm concentrating on.
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mooserx
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PostPosted: 07:51 - 02 Mar 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

for my wife and family, i'd go to the ends of the earth, for any one else they can sod off!!

if it's some violent bird with a dodgy past personally i'd leave well alone and steer clear, your choice though.
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