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MaybeGuy
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PostPosted: 00:02 - 17 Nov 2009    Post subject: Penises Reply with quote

can bikes affect this?
Sometimes i get off the bike and my knob is literally an inny. Like... No penis, just skin like one of those shit flabby dogs. I have to literally find it, pull it out like an extendable magnet thing, then piss. Im thinking this cant be healthy?
Other times i get off and have no feeling there for a good minute or two. Either way, after a few mins it regrows back to normal. I just dont like the 'oh shit, what if...' moments.
Fucking bikes.

Solutions?

Never happened as bad on the gsxr or r6.

Only on the ktm.

At the mo im thinking the 'big singles mean big balls' is an illusion making the balls look bigger thanks to a migrating penis.

Thanks ktm. You bastard.
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Blue_SV650S wrote: it was a sh1te wheelie, but it proves that he can get it up in 3rd and can do angles. In summery, mattsprattuk is a gobby little sh1tebag, dopehead tw4t, but sadly for all of us, he probably isn't THAT full of sh1te!! Mr. Green
Kickstart wrote: Hi I tend to agree with Matt. All the best Keith
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Mystery
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PostPosted: 00:05 - 17 Nov 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

of course its bad for you, your balls smacking against the tank and stuff is all bad for guys who ride loads
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MaybeGuy
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PostPosted: 00:08 - 17 Nov 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

if it makes me sterile thats a good thing. I dont want to lose potency though
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Blue_SV650S wrote: it was a sh1te wheelie, but it proves that he can get it up in 3rd and can do angles. In summery, mattsprattuk is a gobby little sh1tebag, dopehead tw4t, but sadly for all of us, he probably isn't THAT full of sh1te!! Mr. Green
Kickstart wrote: Hi I tend to agree with Matt. All the best Keith
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dextersaurus
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PostPosted: 00:08 - 17 Nov 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I lost a ball once.

Spent half an hour in the toilet trying to pry i out.

Not a very nice experience i have to say.

Dunc
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Hetzer
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PostPosted: 00:10 - 17 Nov 2009    Post subject: Re: Penises Reply with quote

mattsprattuk wrote:
can bikes affect this?
Sometimes i get off the bike and my knob is literally an inny. Like... No penis, just skin like one of those shit flabby dogs. I have to literally find it, pull it out like an extendable magnet thing, then piss. Im thinking this cant be healthy?
Other times i get off and have no feeling there for a good minute or two. Either way, after a few mins it regrows back to normal. I just dont like the 'oh shit, what if...' moments.
Fucking bikes.

Solutions?

Never happened as bad on the gsxr or r6.

Only on the ktm.

At the mo im thinking the 'big singles mean big balls' is an illusion making the balls look bigger thanks to a migrating penis.

Thanks ktm. You bastard.


What the fvck kind of size is your talliwhacker? Shocked Laughing
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Seb
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PostPosted: 01:07 - 17 Nov 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Texting me at 3am and now threads like this, are you sure you're not a woman? Laughing
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Devans
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PostPosted: 01:36 - 17 Nov 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Doesn't riding a motorbike eventually make you infurtile if you do high miliage for years?
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Mystery
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PostPosted: 01:59 - 17 Nov 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Devans wrote:
Doesn't riding a motorbike eventually make you infurtile if you do high miliage for years?


yeah i think it probably would do
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ms51ves3
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PostPosted: 02:04 - 17 Nov 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Devans wrote:
Doesn't riding a motorbike eventually make you infurtile if you do high miliage for years?


Supposedly. Also wearing skinny jeans is supposed to make your little swimmers die.

Chefs can become infertile from working in a kitchen for many years due to the heat from the cookers 'cooking' your bollocks.
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chris-red
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PostPosted: 02:19 - 17 Nov 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

ms51ves3 wrote:
Devans wrote:
Doesn't riding a motorbike eventually make you infurtile if you do high miliage for years?


Supposedly. Also wearing skinny jeans is supposed to make your little swimmers die.

Chefs can become infertile from working in a kitchen for many years due to the heat from the cookers 'cooking' your bollocks.


and cyclists too through betty swalls
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Fisty
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PostPosted: 07:10 - 17 Nov 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sounds like you have teh bad aids.
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DEN MONKEY
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PostPosted: 07:36 - 17 Nov 2009    Post subject: Re: Penises Reply with quote

Hetzer wrote:

What the fvck kind of size is your talliwhacker? Shocked Laughing


That's exactly what I was thinking.

Grab your phone out next time and run off a couple of happy snaps and post up some pics.
If someone doesn't have any healthy advice for you at least the rest of us with normal sized wangers will get a good laugh out of it Smile
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ClaireBear
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PostPosted: 08:09 - 17 Nov 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Im so glad I dont have this problem lol Laughing
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Ariel Badger
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PostPosted: 08:09 - 17 Nov 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

This thread needs pictures. Mr. Green
Never before has there been a " my nob is smaller than your nob" thread anywhere on the internet.
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The Original Muzza
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PostPosted: 08:17 - 17 Nov 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

27cows wrote:
or riding a large bike like a twat makes up for having a personality


What the hell is your problem with large bikes? Did your wife run off with a fucking fireblade? Seriously, maybe if it's relevant to the topic, make a comment about Race RepLICA (Note: Not RepTILE) riders and their faggoty ways, just don't stick it in EVERY fucking post you make. It's getting seriously fucking stale and personally I'd rather ride a bike like a twat than be a self-righteous, pretentious twat. (Any more than I currently am)
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yen_powell
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PostPosted: 08:40 - 17 Nov 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Duct tape is what you need. Tape the end of your beef bayonet to your belly button before a long ride. I'm assuming it reaches your belly button before it's been KTMd?

Other than that do what I do when I ride a push bike and tuck it into one of your bicycle clips.
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JAMSXR
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PostPosted: 09:37 - 17 Nov 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have had this problem in the past, I have also swallowed my balls when breaking hard on a number of occasions! Shocked


I fined I never get any problems when donning my leathers as they stick to the tank and prevent me from sliding forward. Also when playing sport, riding your bike or just anything that involves ball bouncing you are should really wear a jockstrap to keep everything in one place and prevent damage through bouncing! I just tend to go the the tightest boxers I can fined....

Should I really be talking about my tight boxers on a motorcycle forum Confused

Quote:
I'm assuming it reaches your belly button before it's been KTMd?


Are you black? Mine would need to be around 9 inches to do that!
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DEN MONKEY
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PostPosted: 09:55 - 17 Nov 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

JAMSXR wrote:
Mine would need to be around 9 inches to do that!


I don't understand your issue Smile
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ThoughtContro...
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PostPosted: 11:53 - 17 Nov 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Amusingly Mattspratt's "My dick's disappearing!" thread is above one called "20 miles with banging valves".
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the grim reaper
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PostPosted: 12:40 - 17 Nov 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

27cows wrote:


However, sudden impact between testicles and tank/other object in an accident probably wouldn't increase your chances of fathering kids Shocked


I crashed my 125 into the back of a car at about 60mph back in 1994-ish, I dented the tank and had black bollocks for a fortnight. I have two kids and before anyoe makes the milkman joke, I had a DNA test done on the second one as the ex is a lying cheating bitch Mr. Green Not that I'm bitter Laughing

To the OP, your knob is too small Neutral I can go cycling in winter temperatures and mine is still healthily outside my body.

Cheers

Grim
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27cows
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PostPosted: 13:43 - 17 Nov 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

the grim reaper wrote:

I crashed my 125 into the back of a car at about 60mph back in 1994-ish, I dented the tank and had black bollocks for a fortnight. I have two kids and before anyoe makes the milkman joke, I had a DNA test done on the second one as the ex is a lying cheating bitch Mr. Green Not that I'm bitter Laughing

To the OP, your knob is too small Neutral I can go cycling in winter temperatures and mine is still healthily outside my body.

Cheers

Grim


Yep, my mate had a horrific crash a few years ago and put a massive dent in his tank with his bollocks and went on to have two kids as well. He couldn't walk at first because his balls were to swollen Shocked On the up side, I bought his crashed bike for spares Laughing
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Ste
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PostPosted: 13:47 - 17 Nov 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

27cows wrote:
I'm tired of having near misses with inadequates riding dangerously.

What makes the near misses their fault rather than yours?

Plenty of people have near misses, if they're having near misses frequently (which I assume you are if you're "tired of having near misses") then they're doing something wrong.

edit:typo


Last edited by Ste on 16:58 - 17 Nov 2009; edited 1 time in total
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Fawbish
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PostPosted: 16:15 - 17 Nov 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

27cows wrote:
Muzza wrote:


What the hell is your problem with large bikes? Did your wife run off with a fucking fireblade? Seriously, maybe if it's relevant to the topic, make a comment about Race RepLICA (Note: Not RepTILE) riders and their faggoty ways, just don't stick it in EVERY fucking post you make. It's getting seriously fucking stale and personally I'd rather ride a bike like a twat than be a self-righteous, pretentious twat. (Any more than I currently am)


See, the gobshites always know who they are and start bleating Wink

I don't have any problem with any bikes, large or small. But the dickheads are almost exclusively those on large plastic reptiles. I'm tired of having near misses with inadequates riding dangerously.


lolz, he thinks Muzza's a gobshite.

He ^ would be the most eloquent gobshite I've had the grace of reading on here.

You, however, Mr Twenty Seven Cows, seem to have a rather ill disposition towards sportsbike riders. Now, dubious though I may be about the size of your wrinkly little 'nads, might I give you a little advice.

Look at your avatar, look at your face, sort your riding out so as not to be a danger on the roads for sportsbike riders.

Noob. Thumbs Up
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