BCF Top Tips

[rhone81]

When choosing breakdown cover register your address at family or friends' and get home start for free. Saves you £40 with AA or £49ish with RAC.

[Faldo]

Don't eat yellow snow.
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Current: ZZR1400
Previous: ZXR 400 L9, ZX-7R P5, ZZR 400, ZX-7R P6, Bandit 600, GSXR 750 Slingshot, DRZ400, DR650, ZX10R C1H, ZXR 750 L1, ZXR 750 L3, '99 ZX7R P4, KTM 300 EXC, ZX-9R E1, TDM850

[.....]

Record the sound of your girlfriend having an orgasm, and then listen to the tape through headphones next time you make love. That way you can have sex without waking her up.

[silky666]

When super-glueing the foam on your goggles ... make sure you use it sparingly, or it will soak through and you will stick the bloody things to your face when you try them on to check its all in the right place.

I heard !
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There's nothing that shouts "Poor Workmanship" more than wrinkles in the Gaffa tape.

Gaffa tape is like "the force" - it has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

[Whosthedaddy]

If the reds stopping you from potting the pink then sink the brown instead.
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Current : MSX 125 Past : CBR 900RR Monkeybike : c50 LAC : ZXR750 H2 : FZR600 : ZX7R P3 : YW100 : TRX850: Trophy 900 T309 : GSXR 600 L0: Monkeybike : XJ6S Whosthedaddy

[Skudd]

Putting sellotape around Goldfish stops them splitting.
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Famous last words of Humpty Dumpty. " Stop pushing me "
Petty Anarchists look at "1984".............. The Visionary looks at "Animal Farm".

[Ste]

If you ever get arrested when they say "anything you say will be used against you in court" (or whatever the words to that extent are), pause briefly then say "your honor, I would like to say how incredibly attractive I find you and I am struggling to contain myself" and then you'll get to watch the cop repeat it in court.

[iooi]

[Dragonfly]

Dont stick suction cups on your forhead.
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All the breast.
Muzza on Binge:
He's too busy beating the everloving shit out of Lizzie to notice this thread has taken a turn down Drama Avenue and stopped off at the popcorn shop.

[The Shaggy D.A.]

Keep a carrier bag with your waterproof leggings, then when it's time to put them on, pop the bag over your boot first, and it will slide through and stop the boot from snagging. Keeps the inside of the waterproofs dry and clean too.
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Chances are quite high you are not in my Monkeysphere, and I don't care about you. Don't take it personally.
Currently : Royal Enfield 350 Meteor
Previously : CB100N > CB250RS > XJ900F > GT550 > GPZ750R/1000RX > AJS M16 > R100RT > Bullet 500 > CB500 > LS650P > Bullet Electra X & YBR125 > Bullet 350 "Superstar" & YBR125 Custom > Royal Enfield Classic 500 Despatch Limited Edition (28 of 200) & CB Two-Fifty Nighthawk > ER5

[Skudd]

When shagging an ugly bird put a bag over your head incase the bag over her head falls off.
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Famous last words of Humpty Dumpty. " Stop pushing me "
Petty Anarchists look at "1984".............. The Visionary looks at "Animal Farm".

[The999Kid]

• When drunk, do NOT call an ambulance with the hope of a free taxi ride home... you WILL be met with a pissed off crew and no sympathy whatsoever!
  
• Do not take a laxative and a sleeping pill in quick succession.
  
• When engaging in autoerotic asphyxiation, make sure you have a very close mate to release the noose/carrier bag from your head. Thus saving your corpse being the focal point of an ambulance/police crew room banter session.
  
• Do not allow your mother's friends to know you as a person. This leads to extremely bad repercussions when every barman in your home town knows you are underage. (PM for full story).
  

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NDB 19/10/1989 - 1/11/2010 |Nowhere.Elyseum wrote: I get the distinct feeling that Tim should be our secret weapon for future trolling. I don't know many people that can rip the piss in Iambic pentameter

[The Original Muzza]

Beat the shit out of old women if instead of buying a bag of boiled sweets.
Pissing all over your house results in only short term satisfaction.
Probably best not to swallow that man's jizz, you're not even gay yet.
Run around naked whilst protesting abortion, when someone asks you why, show them the inside of your shitpipe.
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Current Bikes: Husqvarna Svartpilen 401 (2020)
Former Bikes: Honda MSX125 (2014), BMW Funduro (1996), Honda VT500 (1983), Yamaha FZR250 (1989), Suzuki GZ125 Marauder(2005),:Triumph TT600 (2002) (stolen)
From then on, I and the bicycle feelings deeper.

[Alexio]

Always keep it rubber side down.

Several things that are always essential for me to carry on long journeys that I go on are:

A fiver, adjustable spanner, small water proof set packed tight (depending on my other gear), mini A-Z of England (for when my iPhone dies), tiny can of engine oil (good for chain lube too), more than one mobile phone (good for network coverage), high energy food and drink (sugar and caffeine), small roll of insulation tape, a plastic bag and spare clothes space permitting (a spare pair of gloves is always a bonus!). Always remember to make sure your reserve tank is filled.

Have had to rely on every one of these things, especially way out on certain A roads in the middle of nowhere before

Others of you may wish to make sure that there's a spare couple of cigarettes and a lighter stored in a safe and waterproof compartment of your bike for emergencies
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will never give up his CG. I look at my fuel gauge more as a progress bar than a fuel gauge.
G: With my GSXR I do often effectively use it as a scooter with a clutch in town.
ms51ves3: why does it need 500 miles? Are you teaching it how to be a piston?

[Fnatic]

https://boratmankini.com/back.jpg

[5v3d3b0]

In the unlikely event that you have the balls to try a 98' R1, twist the throttle to alter the speed

[lostboy]

when cheating with a one night stand take the following safe sex precautions...

tell her your name is steve (unless your actually called steve then say its john)

if possible go to hers

do it when your girlfriend is at work or out the house

if at yours lock the door to stop your girlfriend walking in

hide pics and traces of the aforementioned girlfriend you live with

and if you catch a nasty disease blame your now ex-girlfriend
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Never invite a vampire into your house you silly boy!

[Barry_M2]

[Dragonfly]

[colin1]

If you have a football game with people from work, be very careful, if you consider tackling the boss.

He may not mind losing the ball, but if he falls over, he may consider it your fault. This may not help your career prospects.

If everyone kisses his ass, they are not stupid ass kissers, they are sensible people who want to keep their jobs.

After all, if you were the boss, and some kid went in too hard for a tackle would you just say it was one of those things ? Or would you think cocky little shit ?

Just a thought...
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colin1 is officially faster than god

[MarJay]

[GhostRider]

[s44678]

Record the sound of your washing machine on a spin cycle using a battery operated tape recorder. Then, confuse your neighbours during the next power-cut by playing it.

Circle any stains on your clothes using a permanent marker before putting them in the wash, that way you can check the stains have been properly removed.

Keep the seat next to you on the train free by smiling and nodding at everyone who walks down the aisle.


When washing your car (or bike), prevent your dick of a neighbour from saying "you can do mine next" by pulling out a hammer and smashing the windscreen when he walks out of his house.

[warped one]

It's a bad idea to destroy your bosses brand new merc withing 2 weeks of starting your job,

415v hurts like hell,

Red metal is usually hot,

Don't lick a welding rod just after it has been used,

Stabbing someone in the arse with 6inch of red hot mig wire my sound like fun, but when it's all gone there is still pulling it out (It's hurts like hell)

If you sleep walk really badly (like me) wear cloths to bed next time, to avoid having to go to recption at 3am naked

It's all fun and games until someone looses an eye, then it's fvcking hilarious,

Pallet trucks can pick up fork trucks

Warped
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amnesia - Never in the history of usernames has one been more accurate. Warped indeed. You sir are a fecking oddball.

[MaybeGuy]