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Taking a dump with bike boots on

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dragstaar
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PostPosted: 15:02 - 19 Apr 2011    Post subject: Taking a dump with bike boots on Reply with quote

I wonder if i am doing something wrong.

Every now and then, I find myself caught in public needing to seriously take a dump. No matter even if i take a good dump in the morning before i leave, I sometimes get caught in this situation.

Now i don't mind taking a dump in a public toilet, but the issue is, how on eaaaarth, do you take a dump in Bike gear. Even if I'm not wearing full gear and just kevlar jeans, I always wear my boots. Its annoying, because the boots stop you from pulling your jeans down low enough, meaning i can't spread my legs, which in turn means that my sphincter is nice and tight and can't squeeze my turds out.

Ovbiously taking the boots off in a public toilet is out of the question because the floors of public toilets are usually covered in piss and jizz.

How you you lot overcome this? And yes, I've just had an uncomfortable shit in a public loo
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gmanxiii
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PostPosted: 15:05 - 19 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hover and use your hands to spread those cheeks apart innit.
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chillyman0
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PostPosted: 15:06 - 19 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

Roll the waist band of your jeans over the tops of your boots and towards the floor, can get good groin angles then!

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Darth
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PostPosted: 15:06 - 19 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would need to be pretty desperate before crapping somewhere nasty. For the one time out of several blue moons it happened i would just get on with things as best i could and move on with my life.
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chris-red
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PostPosted: 15:11 - 19 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

chillyman0 wrote:
Roll the waist band of your jeans over the tops of your boots and towards the floor, can get good groin angles then!

Thumbs Up


This Thumbs Up
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dragstaar
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PostPosted: 15:17 - 19 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

chillyman0 wrote:
Roll the waist band of your jeans over the tops of your boots and towards the floor, can get good groin angles then!

Thumbs Up


This doesn't work though! I've tried it. the waistline of your jeans are the same width as your own waist, obviously. So when you roll it over your boots, you're still just as restricted.

Heres a diagram of what i mean:

https://i1138.photobucket.com/albums/n521/dragstaar/dump.jpg
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MattJ
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PostPosted: 15:27 - 19 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pull your feet together then spread your knees apart for maximum angle.

Rubber pants?
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Benson_JV
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PostPosted: 15:27 - 19 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's fucking annoying, I just put down loads of bog roll and take the boots off. Mr. Green
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Kris
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PostPosted: 15:29 - 19 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ankles together, knees apart.

Oh sorry, thought this was the chat up lines thread... Wink
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Grubby
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PostPosted: 15:33 - 19 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

If you're having trouble here in England you'll be fucked good & proper if you ever feel the need for a shit when riding in France. There's just a hole in the ground & the water just washes over the floor when you've finished, so the floor's wet when you get in there. Confused
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chillyman0
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PostPosted: 15:41 - 19 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

MattJ wrote:
Pull your feet together then spread your knees apart for maximum angle.


What I said plus this... gives you as much spread as you would usually use...
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dragstaar
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PostPosted: 15:48 - 19 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thinking but whenever i drop my pants, the boots don't let the jeans go lower than my knees. The boots come half way up my calves, then the bunced up jean material takes up the other half, so i can't actually spread my knees any wider than my waist
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chillyman0
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PostPosted: 15:51 - 19 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah that why you roll the excess over the top of your boots and down to the floor... I would draw a diagram but im at work so can't!
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Sham
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PostPosted: 15:52 - 19 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

Get a Colostomy. Simple.
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chillyman0
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PostPosted: 15:55 - 19 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

rob yarrr wrote:
ask covdude Thumbs Up


Laughing
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MattJ
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PostPosted: 15:58 - 19 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

Use the jaws of life?
https://img339.imageshack.us/img339/9136/xtractorcombi3.jpg

Or just use your hands.
https://img821.imageshack.us/img821/9112/sdggy.jpg
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HD
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PostPosted: 17:01 - 19 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

Put your left cheek on the seat. Now pull your right cheek and place it on the seat. Now if need be roll your jeans over or whatever and squeeze your shit!

This thread is so typical BCF Laughing
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L4Isoside
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PostPosted: 17:08 - 19 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

chillyman0 wrote:
Roll the waist band of your jeans over the tops of your boots and towards the floor, can get good groin angles then!

Thumbs Up


Tis what I do, or similar anyway, never really had a problem Confused.
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dragstaar
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PostPosted: 17:24 - 19 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lol, looks like i'm going to have to give that a shot. I roll the jeans over the boots, then feet together and stretch knees. Considering that my flies will be undone, I ought to be able to stretch them out far enough. I will report back my findings. Maybe even make a video id i can be bothered.
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Marmalade
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PostPosted: 18:01 - 19 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

Grubby wrote:
If you're having trouble here in England you'll be fucked good & proper if you ever feel the need for a shit when riding in France. There's just a hole in the ground & the water just washes over the floor when you've finished, so the floor's wet when you get in there. Confused


Which century did you last go to France?
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c_dug
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PostPosted: 18:07 - 19 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

HD wrote:
Put your left cheek on the seat. Now pull your right cheek and place it on the seat. Now if need be roll your jeans over or whatever and squeeze your shit!

This thread is so typical BCF Laughing


This!
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jono600
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PostPosted: 18:55 - 19 Apr 2011    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Guys, that's so funny...love the diagrams...... Laughing Laughing Laughing
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Old Thread Alert!

The last post was made 14 years, 256 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful?
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