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feeling depressed

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jaded eyes
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Joined: 13 Oct 2012
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PostPosted: 22:52 - 13 Oct 2012    Post subject: feeling depressed Reply with quote

(Posting under an alias account because i dont want people i know to find this)

So about 4 months ago (lost count now) my girlfriend left me. About a month after she left me i started cutting myself. Not trying to kill myself, but the pain was a distraction to everything. Anyway told my ex for some reason because i wanted someone to talk to, was told to fuck off and then she told all my friends. so then my friends come over and started demanding to see my arms... Showed them my wrists, but that wasnt where i was cutting anyway...
After that i just stopped cutting.

Soi spent the next couple of weeks severely depressed. I tried to get my life back on track and forget about everything, even went out on a date with someone else, but then it just feels like im trying to replace my ex...
then a couple of days ago i was arguing with my mam (im 18 and live with her) and the arguing got really bad. She threatened to call the police, and then 10 minuits later while im sat down enjoying a computer game Rolling Eyes
Now i pretty much hate my mam and genuinely could care if i never was to see her again. Background story on all this is that she told my girlfriend to leave me 2 weeks before she did and tried everything to break us up. She also threatens that her boyfriend will beat me up Confused

lately ive just been wondering what is the point in carrying on anymore. None of my friends make the effort to bother with me anymore and i spend all my days off staring at a computer screen and refreshing BCF...
Worst part about everything is that i feel so alone. Some days i just wonder if i should just talk to my ex and try sort things out, but i guess things are too far past that now...

Guess this is just one of those threads with no real question, just feel like i have to get it all out there. If anyone has any advice though, please post it. any help from anyone whos ever been in this sort of situation would be appreciated..
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Ariel Badger
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PostPosted: 23:23 - 13 Oct 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

So what advice do you want? Carry on cutting or stop cutting? Get out there and get a life or be a little bitch and cry yourself to sleep? You are 18, get over it.
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P.addy
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PostPosted: 23:26 - 13 Oct 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rise above it, life is too short.

< That is me when I'm most happy... you are pretty much alone in that helmet

I rarely see people these days, but less people = less bother for me. Lets me live my life. True I may sound like a miserable bastard... but lets face it, I'd rather be happy with my own existence and not being hassled by lifes trivial things such as Facebook and shit than trying to live by someone elses expectations and the way they live.

Since I left social networking stuff... I've been alright.

I was chucked in a nut job place when I was 21 because I threatened to kill myself and was grabbed by police before I jumped from a bridge into busy motorway traffic. I was having a bad time with my life, being told I have a tumour, ruining my life by basically being a bastard to others and feeling completely lost and unwanted.

Believe me, if you start thinking about getting your own life on track, ignoring those who take the piss, even though it hurts..you'll soon realise you are far better than them.

Also.. you may "dislike" your mum, but deep down, you don't.

Make peace with your family, anything could happen tomorrow... I would know, I lost my brother last week literally 2 days after he apologised to my mum for ignoring her, even had a decent convo with him. Despite the distinct lack of communication over a year.. my mum/dad were both utterly devastated... So regardless of whether you hate her/she hates you.. arguments are only tiny things compared to feelings.

Bear it in mind!
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bikertomm
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PostPosted: 23:41 - 13 Oct 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just to add really, I imagine at this point in time you're really fucked off.

In a few months time you might look back and be like what the fuck was I thinking.


Think of the good times mate, there's a lot of shit but rise above it, I find taking the piss out of everything that goes wrong helps. Live for the good times, and fuck everything else.

Even just try focusing on doing one thing, like saving up to get a bike or whatever you want.

Hang on in there pal Thumbs Up
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jaded eyes
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PostPosted: 23:53 - 13 Oct 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

##Paddy## wrote:

Also.. you may "dislike" your mum, but deep down, you don't.

Make peace with your family, anything could happen tomorrow... I would know, I lost my brother last week literally 2 days after he apologised to my mum for ignoring her, even had a decent convo with him. Despite the distinct lack of communication over a year.. my mum/dad were both utterly devastated... So regardless of whether you hate her/she hates you.. arguments are only tiny things compared to feelings.

Bear it in mind!


Thanks. I know i probably dont really hate her, but they way she deliberately tried to ruin my life just gets to me...
Riding has really helped me through things lately. Starting to get a bit too expensive to just spend all day riding like i would like too though Sad

Sorry to hear about your brother. Really does make what im going through seem kinda stupid Sad
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J.M.
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PostPosted: 23:58 - 13 Oct 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

PM me if you need. Been through/going through the same and the same age as you Thumbs Up
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Ariel Badger
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PostPosted: 00:07 - 14 Oct 2012    Post subject: Re: feeling depressed Reply with quote

jaded eyes wrote:

So about 4 months ago (lost count now) my girlfriend left me.


If this was serious you would know how long it was to the second. Get over it.
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bikertomm
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PostPosted: 00:20 - 14 Oct 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just watch the Jeremy Kyle show, it will make you appreciate your life Laughing
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jaded eyes
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PostPosted: 00:36 - 14 Oct 2012    Post subject: Re: feeling depressed Reply with quote

Ariel Badger wrote:
jaded eyes wrote:

So about 4 months ago (lost count now) my girlfriend left me.


If this was serious you would know how long it was to the second. Get over it.


I made it a point to myself not to remember. I didnt want to dwell upon the thought that everything fell apart X many weeks ago.
I do kind of realise that im 18 and i probably should just move on to the next one, but somethings telling me to just not give up yet...

Thanks J.M. Thumbs Up
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Polarbear
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PostPosted: 01:15 - 14 Oct 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

bikertomm wrote:
Just watch the Jeremy Kyle show, it will make you appreciate your life Laughing


I did laugh, but that is actually true.
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Polarbear
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PostPosted: 01:17 - 14 Oct 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

anyway, the bear says, don't come on BCF and expect too much sympathy. Wink
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Joenitro
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PostPosted: 01:19 - 14 Oct 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know you probably feel like shit but self pity isn't the answer. Your only young so do something about it.
Start training, go on the sunbed, get your hair done nice and buy some good clothes. That will bring your confidence back and set you on the right track to finding a decent bird and forgetting about your ex. We've all been through it, kid, and it really hurts but only you can drag yourself out of it.
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JonB
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PostPosted: 07:14 - 14 Oct 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sort your life out. You will encounter far more horrific things throughout your life than breaking up with a girlfriend at 18.

Emo.
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nowhere.elysium
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PostPosted: 08:09 - 14 Oct 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

Breaking up with a girlfriend at the grand old age of 18 is not the same as having one's life ruined. Cutting is the act of an attention seeker, too. I'm a manic depressive, and even I reckon you need to grow a pair and move on. As Paddy's post illustrates, there are far bigger things to get worked up about in life.

Given your age, I can't imagine that you were even together that long: as such, stop acting like it's a twenty year marriage that's broken down.

If you think your mother is overbearing and prone to interfering in your life, move out. Where there's a will, there's a way.
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Flatbadger
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PostPosted: 08:48 - 14 Oct 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

Stop concentrating on where you want to be, and appreciate where you are now. Learning to be content with what you have is a useful skill which will see you OK.

Nothing wrong with dreaming but investing emotionally is never a good idea if you're chucking good 'money' after bad.

And as for cutting yourself - don't be a twat! You mentioned it to her as you thought she'd feel sorry for you and get back with you, right? No wonder it backfired, that's really manipulative - I'd have certainly told you to fuck off too.

Date other girls, enjoy their company and see it as a chance for a nice drink and chat, nothing more.

Regarding your mum, no comment as I have no idea of her reasons for doing what she did.
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panrider_uk
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PostPosted: 08:57 - 14 Oct 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

nowhere.elysium wrote:


If you think your mother is overbearing and prone to interfering in your life, wait 'til you get married.


Fixed that for you.

Mark
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J.M.
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PostPosted: 11:32 - 14 Oct 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

nowhere.elysium wrote:
Cutting is the act of an attention seeker, too.


Not always.

I've always hidden it from everyone. When someone actually finally saw some cuts... that's what forced me to stop... because I didn't want the attention and I seriously struggled to lie my way out of it.

Though there are of course some people that do it and go around to everyone going:
"OMG LOOK, MY LIFE IS TERRIBLE, FEEL SORRY FOR ME!"
"What's wrong mate?"
"Can't talk about it. Leave me alone."
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MCW
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PostPosted: 12:46 - 14 Oct 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

Attention seeking is often a cry for help. It pisses me off when people say 'only a cry for help', or 'only attention seeking'.

What Paddy said about families.

I think you should go to the doctor and discuss how you're feeling (this is not a one-way ticket to a mental institution). Sometimes something like a break-up can trigger a spiral of stuff, some of it absolutely unrelated. You seem to be going into an emotional nose-dive that you need help to get out of.

All this talk about manning the eff up.Thumbs Down The bravest thing is to admit you need help. The next bravest thing is to do something about it. Thumbs Up
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neatbik
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PostPosted: 12:52 - 14 Oct 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just remember this.... You managed fine without her before you met her... Just because you arent with her anymore doesent mean that life is just destined to be shit for evermore.

Without trying to sound condascending mate, its something that we all go through. I've been there a few times in the past. But the truth is you will meet someone else in good time and your thoughts of your ex wont bother you one bit then.

As for the situation with your mum - If its that bad then get yourself out of there.
Bottom line is you are young, dont waste your youth being miserable, because before you know it you will wake up one day not so young anymore and wonder why the fuck you wasted it.

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jaded eyes
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PostPosted: 16:29 - 14 Oct 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

J.M. wrote:

I've always hidden it from everyone. When someone actually finally saw some cuts... that's what forced me to stop... because I didn't want the attention and I seriously struggled to lie my way out of it.


Was the same with me really. Once people started wondering why the cuts i had from 'falling over up the mountain' where still there after 2 weeks i had to stop. The only reason i told my ex was to get some help, which it did in the end when i realized how stupid it is... If i didnt i probably would be in a terrible state right now.

going to be living with my dad for a week or so now, until things calm down with my mam.
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ocatoro
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PostPosted: 17:32 - 14 Oct 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

nobody, no matter how much grief they cause you, is worth cutting yourself much less killing your self.

a) go see a doctor and get some pills

b) get off the computer, get outdoors and do something. ride your bike, go somewhere interesting.

c) try something new. take up boxing, or jiu jitsu, or something else.... the exercise will help your head, and you'll make new friends who have a more positive input than the ones currently ignoring you.
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Lord Percy
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PostPosted: 20:02 - 14 Oct 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pretty shocked to see certain dickheads here taking the "well that's not what I would do because I'm so tough" attitude. We're all different, don't forget.

My honest advice to anyone who's genuinely unhappy and totally lost for what to do, is to escape, literally. Save up and fuck off!!!

If you're not working....... find ANY job, or hmmmm sign on, and in about 2 or 3 months, as long as you treat your money as untouchable, you'll have a at leat few hundred quid, and that can get you a long way in some countries. (India you can volunteer and live with hippies for £100 a month, or less if you tell them you have no money).
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jaded eyes
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PostPosted: 22:00 - 14 Oct 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

sa1988 wrote:
Pretty shocked to see certain dickheads here taking the "well that's not what I would do because I'm so tough" attitude. We're all different, don't forget.

Expected those sort of replies to be honest. I probably would have said something similar before i went through this.

I would just get out of here, but im still in college so cant really go anywhere for a long period of time.

Trying to do new stuff, but my motivation is just terrible. I tend to get obsessed with something for a month, then forget about it and move onto something else.
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Bubbs
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PostPosted: 22:02 - 14 Oct 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

sa1988 wrote:


My honest advice to anyone who's genuinely unhappy and totally lost for what to do, is to escape, literally. Save up and fuck off!!!

If you're not working....... find ANY job, or hmmmm sign on, and in about 2 or 3 months, as long as you treat your money as untouchable, you'll have a at leat few hundred quid, and that can get you a long way in some countries. (India you can volunteer and live with hippies for £100 a month, or less if you tell them you have no money).


What he said.

Ever tried snowboarding? If not head to natives.co.uk and fill out some job apps. They pay your journey to and from the resort, food is all arranged, free lift pass and ski hire, and anything you get paid/tipped is beer money. You will party constantly, meet a fuck ton of women, and have the best experience ever.

I did this, and continued to do it for around 5 years. I met my now hot wife through it and made friends for life. It took me around Europe and Canada/USA. Best thing I have ever done!!

If you are anyone on here wants help to get a position then let me know and I'll try my best to help you out.

Life is a lot cooler than your allowing it to be mate.. Take some risks/chances Thumbs Up
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Lord Percy
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PostPosted: 22:12 - 14 Oct 2012    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well then bud, just keep in mind that the world is gigantic, you're an amoeba on it and you are in no way glued to any of your immediate problems, so stay optimistic and remember the bad times are simply part of the route towards the good times!
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