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Top 5 regrets of the dying

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Lord Percy
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PostPosted: 09:21 - 27 Jan 2014    Post subject: Top 5 regrets of the dying Reply with quote
Not sure if current affairs or 'found on the net'. Thought it was appropriate enough to go here.

Quite interesting to consider Thumbs Up

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying
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TheCatSatOnTh...
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PostPosted: 09:46 - 27 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
Having worked in palliative care I have heard lots of people echo similar, but to add they often said the happiest time of their lives are when they get to retire, even if they have no money, they suddenly have time to enjoy themselves. Smile
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daemonoid
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PostPosted: 09:51 - 27 Jan 2014    Post subject: Re: Top 5 regrets of the dying Reply with quote
Lord Percy wrote:
Not sure if current affairs or 'found on the net'. Thought it was appropriate enough to go here.

Quite interesting to consider Thumbs Up

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying


It's almost politics too... "wish I'd not worked so hard" in a society that promotes working above all else.

I have a feeling that they are looking back at possibilities with a grass is greener point of view. "If I hadn't worked so hard I would've had more time with the kids/wife", but you also wouldn't've been able to feed them... Express your true feelings? Not sure the wife would've appreciated finding out about what you thought of the girl next door...

Not having been there I can't really identify, but it really does sound like a matter of "I could've" without thinking of the consequences. Do what's best in the here and now and you won't have too many regrets.
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Lord Percy
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PostPosted: 12:20 - 27 Jan 2014    Post subject: Re: Top 5 regrets of the dying Reply with quote
daemonoid wrote:


I have a feeling that they are looking back at possibilities with a grass is greener point of view. "If I hadn't worked so hard I would've had more time with the kids/wife", but you also wouldn't've been able to feed them... Express your true feelings? Not sure the wife would've appreciated finding out about what you thought of the girl next door...


I wonder if these people had these thoughts because they're from a different generation, from a time when they were more rigidly bound to just get a job and get on with it. Because yeah to some extent I think these days we're pushed to take control of what liberties we have, so maybe those kinds of regrets might not be so strong.

About expressing feelings about the girl next door to the wife... Laughing I don't think that's what it was really on about. My interpretation of that part was more to do with, say, speaking up or taking control when you aren't happy about something, instead of just soldiering on and hoping something will magically change. Because I do think a lot of people seem to be unhappy about things, without actually acting to make things better.

Quote:
Do what's best in the here and now and you won't have too many regrets.


Can't argue with that. Thumbs Up

It's interesting to think about what I'll regret in my later days though.

There's that typical sort of saying for an older person, "I'd love to meet my 18 year old self to teach him a few things about what's most important in life."
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Pete.
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PostPosted: 13:29 - 27 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
I like the first comment the best Mr. Green
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-Matt-
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PostPosted: 13:40 - 28 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
TheCatSatOnTheMat wrote:
Having worked in palliative care I have heard lots of people echo similar, but to add they often said the happiest time of their lives are when they get to retire, even if they have no money, they suddenly have time to enjoy themselves. Smile
Heard the same quite a bit also. Seems to be three age periods that the majority of people consider and think back on as 'the happiest time'. The retirement people you mention, the 'i wish i was 21 again' people and the 'when i was 40-50 and finally accepted myself' people.

Quite interesting how different people have many decades between their happiest time in some cases, might just literally be a case of when things happened to be going best or them in their lives I guess, or maybe theres certain triggers in the average persons life around those ages that make them likely to be remembered as important times - i'd like to think i'm not in the 21 group or its a long further disappointing downhill slide ahead for me Thinking
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kawashima
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PostPosted: 14:03 - 28 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
When I read this title, I wondered if this meant someone who damaged his health for hard working, but it was rather not spending time with his family.
I see some people who achieve successful career but dies early like 60. This includes my boss in the past too. This really made me think of what happiness is when I heard of his early death.
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Lord Percy
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PostPosted: 14:25 - 28 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
kawashima wrote:
2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
When I read this title, I wondered if this meant someone who damaged his health for hard working, but it was rather not spending time with his family.
I see some people who achieve successful career but dies early like 60. This includes my boss in the past too. This really made me think of what happiness is when I heard of his early death.


Another version of this happened to my dad - he worked hard for two or three decades, then the company went to pot, he lost his job and now seems to be unemployable because of his age, eventually had to sell the house and generally now has very little to show for his 'working so hard'. He'll certainly be secretly having a lot of those kinds of regrets, wondering what the point of it all was..
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GhostRider
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PostPosted: 14:35 - 28 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
"I wish I'd have tripped balls earlier in life so I could have sooner come to the realisation that most of the shit that I think matters, really doesn't".

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Dilyan
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PostPosted: 17:06 - 28 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
6. Wish I looked both ways ...
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-Matt-
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PostPosted: 17:46 - 28 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
Lord Percy wrote:
kawashima wrote:
2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
When I read this title, I wondered if this meant someone who damaged his health for hard working, but it was rather not spending time with his family.
I see some people who achieve successful career but dies early like 60. This includes my boss in the past too. This really made me think of what happiness is when I heard of his early death.


Another version of this happened to my dad - he worked hard for two or three decades, then the company went to pot, he lost his job and now seems to be unemployable because of his age, eventually had to sell the house and generally now has very little to show for his 'working so hard'. He'll certainly be secretly having a lot of those kinds of regrets, wondering what the point of it all was..
Someone I knew a few years back who was on his last legs, said something thats stuck with me since and is quite applicable to both those stories.

He said regarding work - love what you do, but never love what you're paid or where you work as you never know when either will cease.
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Ed Case
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PostPosted: 22:24 - 28 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
It makes you wonder if that dross in 'Benefit Street' has got it right and the rest of us wrong !.
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haroman666
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PostPosted: 22:31 - 28 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
Thing is people will read these 5 things and then carry on with their day. And they'll carry on with their lives. And they'll probably get to their death bed and realise "Fuck, I shoulda payed attention to those things and acted upon it."

I fully do not intend to fall into that category.
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Derivative
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PostPosted: 22:47 - 28 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
I dunno, some of these seem kind of obvious, there's a bias in there.

90% of people are going to work for their entire lives just to put a roof over their head, they'll never end up with any significant wealth.

Given that it seems kind of obvious that most are going to say 'I wish I hadn't worked as hard'. They only ever got to buy a few more trinkets, it didn't really change their lives.

If your hard work paid off and allowed you to relax then you probably wouldn't be saying it wasn't worth it.
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Ed Case
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PostPosted: 22:48 - 28 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
haroman666 wrote:
Thing is people will read these 5 things and then carry on with their day. And they'll carry on with their lives. And they'll probably get to their death bed and realise "Fuck, I shoulda payed attention to those things and acted upon it."

I fully do not intend to fall into that category.


I've spent all my life doing shit jobs including one especially shitty in order to get what we all aspire to, cars, bikes and being a house-owner only to find now that the damned house is as much a mill stone as an asset. it seemed so important those years ago, I wish that I'd pissed it up the wall now and enjoyed myself more instead of being on the treadmill.
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Clutchy
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PostPosted: 23:33 - 28 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
Currently I feel none of those really apply to me, the only thing I would probably regret is missing my chance with someone when really I could have taken control of the chance and been with her.

Other than that I'm pretty darn happy.
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mistergixer
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PostPosted: 23:51 - 28 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
I can guarantee I won't be saying #2.
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