Do you look down on old(40ish) single people?

[kawashima]

Do you look down on old(40ish) single people?
I heard one of my male colleague who's got married, got kid, and got his own house said "40ish single people living in a rented small house is pitiful and miserable" at work.

I like living single life. I pay a lot for my various hobbies. I want to control what to eat myself. I decide what to do on weekend myself.
So I find zero merit for marriage.

Usually I'm not annoyed at those words that much, but on that day I was a little bit annoyed at him cause he said the words so that I can hear him. (he was talking with the other married male member)

I wondered typical married male people like him look down on 40is single people.

Is this more prone in Europe? I heard European people put high priority on their family.
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[delsol]

If they are smaller than me, then yes.

[Boris the spider]

Only during sex
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[hachi8]

[arry]

[gbrand42]

I'm a forty-ish married man and there have been some occasions when I have been quite envious of the single life. All in all I am very happy being married with a kid but I certainly don't look down on the singles of my age. Good luck to them I say, we all have to live our own life as we see fit, not what society deems the norm.

And being married does not mean you waive all right to deciding what eat, how to spend your leisure time or what to spend your spare cash on, unless you are well under the thumb of course.
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[kawashima]

[metalangel]

Single meaning never married, or single meaning divorced?

My best friend's man is a single (never married) guy in his 40s. He's good looking and fairly intelligent, but as time passes she's beginning to see why nobody married him, his longest ever relationship was six months.

I hope no-one deigns to look down on me if I haven't met their stupid societal expectations and gotten married by the time I'm forty. It was bad enough being 30 and people asking the now-ex and I when we were going to get married, when we were going to have kids...
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"A faired bike will get you 10x more clunge than a unfaired one." -Marlboro Matt

[kawashima]

[Itchy]

Kawashima san, the problem is you're a Far Eastern Asian.

Our societies do not consider us to be adults until we get married, i.e. we are STILL essentially part of our parent's families even if we aren't.


This is why they look down on us as Asian societies have unspoke castes of people.

You could always marry my sister and have a fake relationship with her to shut MY parents up and YOUR parents.

Her contract expired 4 days ago at Nagoya University and she leaves on the 28th at Haneda.
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[trevor saxe-coburg-gotha]

[stinkwheel]

I would look on the person having made such a comment as being in many ways, unhappy with his own lifestyle if he has to openly denegrate other peoples.

Perhaps he is jealous because his wife wont let him have a motorbike? Being a forthright person, I would probably have asked him if this was the case.

I am married and get a similar thing from couples with children. As if I am somehow incomplete and lesser because I've chosen not to breed and dedicate decades of my life to adding more people to an already overcrowded world. People referr to us as a "childless couple" as if it's something to pity. I've gone to considerable effort to make sure this stays the case. I preferr the term "DINKY" (double income, no kids yet).

That said. We all need someone to feel superior to... That's why nature gave us unemployed, overweight, 30 year old virgins who still live in their parents house.
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[trevor saxe-coburg-gotha]

[kawashima]

[kawashima]

[Nexus Icon]

I'd possibly think less of someone who lived an unfulfilling life by choice. That could be a single person who's miserable yet won't venture out to look for a partner or a married person who's unhappy at home but will do nothing to either repair or terminate the relationship.

I'd certainly think less of them if I've had to listen to them complaining about how bad their life is for weeks on end but they refuse to take any sort of action.
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[delsol]

Kawashima San,

It was my very unsatisfactory 'attempt' at humour, no offence intended.

[Tungtvann]

I do a little bit, there's always the question 'why?' I see myself going the same way, unfortunately. I don't really know any 40-ish year old men who've never been married, anyone who reaches that age without marriage or children is quite often seen as a bit strange.

My job has never helped, I've never felt I've been able to commit myself fully to someone because I'll either be sent away to Afghanistan (like now) or get a new posting at the other side of the country. I've never been able to enter a relationship knowing things were going to be steady for me. Because of this, I've learnt to stay disconnected from people and that means relationships suffer.

I'm one year away from 30, where do I see myself in 10 years? Single, never having to answer to anyone, making the most of my time but ultimately alone. I'm kind of okay with this at the moment, I can still do the things of a young man, but to do everything I do now as a 40 year old, would be weird.

Anyone who says they're married and can do whatever they want, whenever they want is lying. There's always a compromise, always. I'm not able to compromise and that's my problem I think.

[Wonko The Sane]

Not really, it's up to them if they want to rent a nice little flat, deck it out how they want and live how they want.

Provided they're paying their way for what they have I couldn't care less.


I do get confused by people who are engaged for 10-15 years without getting round to getting hitched and wonder if someone has a commitment problem…
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[N cee thirty]

Seems to be more common now that some people are only together because they slipped up and had a kid, once the kid moves out, said 40 yr old's find they have sweet fuck all in common and split up.

If they're happy single then who cares, better that than with some whiny bitch moaning where's her holiday/ new kitchen / new bathroom / new car etc etc, not that i have that problem, but just a general observation form other couples.
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[Commuter_Tim]

No, I don't look down on them, I look towards them, for a glimpse at my likely future.
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The above post is most likely nonsensical.

I ride a Bandit 600... badly.

[slowlydoesit]

[Benno]

[krarkol]

Some people just aren't interested, either because they just aren't or through bad experiences.

If they are single and don't have kids, why would they buy a house? Not exactly an investment is it, they spend all that money and then die and some random person/company profits off it. I'd be living rented too at that age if I had no next of kin that would benefit off my estate.

My dad for example, he's in his 50's and him and my mum split up around 7 years ago. He'd sell up and move to a rented place if it wasn't for the fact that the house is an investment for myself and my sister.

I think people are too quick to judge others, just because their situation has different needs and allows different decisions to be made.

Me personally, atm I don't really fancy getting married. I like the freedom and not having to plan around someone else's needs and stuff. It can be seen as selfish but it's my life and I'll do what I want with it

I do think some people just feel they need to rush into it as they enjoy the feeling of having someone there willing to commit to saying they want to spend the rest of their life with them. Some people just want to feel loved. I couldn't give a toss, you either like me or you don't.
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[Bandit Boy]

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