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How much do you tell people?

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smegballs
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PostPosted: 07:57 - 30 Sep 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I tell different friends different things, no-one knows everything....
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GhostRider
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PostPosted: 09:00 - 30 Sep 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bittern wrote:
I tell different friends different things, no-one knows everything....


Mostly the same, I'm not sure i'd need all the fingers of one hand to count how many people know me through and through, and this counts for people I've known 20+ years. This is largely due to knowing who can keep their fucking mouths shut and who can't, and as a patient observer, one tends to find that theres probably less than 1% of the people you know who truly know how to keep your business out of their mouths, which is easily done by planting your own false rumours and seeing how they circulate.

Then of course there are some things which will never leave the recesses of my mind, so no one will truly ever know everything there is to know about me I guess.

Not that it matters much, most times I have a problem or am stressed out about something, I'll solve the problem myself one way or another, it builds character, failing that theres always my bro to turn to.

I'll often rant to the missus, but it's not for the sake of advise per se, it's more that when venting out loud, it helps put things in perspective and calculate things, so by the time I've finished my monologue I already know what I'm going to do about it.

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mooserx
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PostPosted: 12:27 - 30 Sep 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I tell people fuck all unless absolutely necessary, i reckon the less people know about me and my business the better it is.
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Alexio
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PostPosted: 12:59 - 30 Sep 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's quite an interesting point about telling different friends different things. From an emotional point of view I find it necessary to find people that I can get close to and eventually tell everything to. Maybe my life hasn't been as bad as others but there is definitely still a vulnerability there when you open up. If you open you can either become much closer and / or risk immense hurt at some time in the future... No matter how many times I may have been hurt it doesn't stop me trying to open up to people though. Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? That probably applies to friendship too.

I also think I'm very lucky to have brothers and sisters as close friends (we're all in our twenties). We all know how each other grew up.
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Sparks!
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PostPosted: 16:47 - 30 Sep 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't tell anyone anything, not even my parents. Never been close enough to a girlfriend or friend to open up truthfully and not sure I even would, well, maybe if I was getting married then I might share a bit Laughing
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TUG
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PostPosted: 16:54 - 30 Sep 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I used to tell everyone alot but not everything, but they all stabbed me in the back and shunned me, so now i tell no one nothing.
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Skudd
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PostPosted: 18:40 - 30 Sep 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tell nothing, keep yourself a closed book.
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MattHirst
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PostPosted: 18:44 - 30 Sep 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm a fairly open person as some people will know from the shite i tell them Laughing

I have 1 mate (yep, just the one Crying or Very sad ) that knows basically everything. Known each other since we started our apprenticeship (So 4 years ago) but are brilliant mates, you would think we were brothers.

For some reason i tell him everything, well i don't go out to tell him to everything but i certainly don't hide anything from him. Its the same way with him aswell.

The people that know the least about me/i tell them the least is probably my family, not sure why.
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J0Al1
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PostPosted: 20:12 - 30 Sep 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Less as I get older. They can't use it against you that way.
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WildGoose
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PostPosted: 20:39 - 30 Sep 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ghostrider wrote:
This is largely due to knowing who can keep their fucking mouths shut and who can't, and as a patient observer, one tends to find that theres probably less than 1% of the people you know who truly know how to keep your business out of their mouths, which is easily done by planting your own false rumours and seeing how they circulate.


Ain't that the sad truth.

Such an irritating lesson to learn, there are so few people you can really trust.

I'm pretty honest and open with people, if they ask I will usually give them something. This has come back and bitten me in the arse so many times over the years though, so you do slowly tend to catch on to what can be said to who and what cannot.
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Phoenix
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PostPosted: 04:11 - 01 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Generally don't tell people anything about me, have been occasions when I have and it's always a mistake. Probably only one friend I talk about most things with without much thought as I know he's completely trustworthy when it comes to not using personal stuff against you or analysing you like an amateur psychologist. I think when people complain that you're not being open enough with them it's actually because they don't like not knowing everything, to know gives them a little more power, only on rare occasions is it truly just about wanting to share everything.
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chris-red
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PostPosted: 04:45 - 01 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know one thing, you tell the forum too much.
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Last edited by chris-red on 01:23 - 23 Oct 2009; edited 1 time in total
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el_oso
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PostPosted: 13:04 - 01 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

generally i tell no one anything unless they can help me
however if they ask i don't lie, but may slightly twist the truth or leave out certain parts
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Hazylogic
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PostPosted: 19:30 - 01 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

what a crock of shit!
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bazza
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PostPosted: 20:18 - 01 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Fuck all. If I think you need to know, you'll be told. And no, I don't Facetube because I'm not an emotionally stunted attention seeker who needs the validation of the equally worthless.

On the other hand, I may have just told you all something about myself...

Or have I? Thinking
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TUG
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PostPosted: 20:50 - 01 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

bazza wrote:
Fuck all. If I think you need to know, you'll be told. And no, I don't Facetube because I'm not an emotionally stunted attention seeker who needs the validation of the equally worthless.

On the other hand, I may have just told you all something about myself...

Or have I? Thinking

You dont have a soul let alone emotions. Laughing
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bazza
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PostPosted: 21:23 - 01 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

XlonewolfX wrote:

You dont have a soul let alone emotions. Laughing


Shut it, emo.
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ytrewq321
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PostPosted: 23:52 - 22 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

"careless talk costs lives" that is true,

i dont tell anyone anything, and the people at work know hardly anything , but and heres the annoying thing, everyone tells me about themselves ive got more indepth knowledge about people at work than there are grains of sand on the beach Rolling Eyes
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Devans
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PostPosted: 01:45 - 23 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I used to be alot more open than i am now. I don't really find the need to tell people about myself, I doesn't benefit me so i tend it just talk about minor life exsperiances if a deep conversation arises with someone.
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lofty
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PostPosted: 16:53 - 26 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I hardly tell anyone anything, I am a very much, bottle it up and hope it will go away sort of a person,which never actually works! Used to tell the ex, who was also my best mate and had been for a good few years, but that went up shit creek so since then not really had a person to talk about stuff with.
I don't know if I trust anyone enough to actually tell them anything, don't want everyone knowing everything and some of my mates/well, not really mates, do love a good gossip.
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TUG
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PostPosted: 01:17 - 27 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

ytrewq321 wrote:
"careless talk costs lives" that is true,

Noice WW2 propaganda!
I love you too Bazza! Laughing
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Pernig
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PostPosted: 01:59 - 27 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Most people I will tell trivial things, but there are a lot of things I keep to myself, or at least from the majority of people. I usually won't have a problem telling my Dad about things, also I have a few close mates (again a case of fingers on one hand) who I can tell things and I know it will go no further, because they have the same temperament me.

I remember at work a few months ago there was a lot of stirrage going on. Things to do with who'd slept with who, beans being inadvertently spilt over people's relationship troubles and alleged backstabbing etc actually regarding work itself. It was actually like being in a soap, I have never witnessed interactions between people go on like this before. In fact it was actually like being back at school!

There was a certain person I worked with who I wasn't too close to but on fag breaks etc would tell me everything about their business and everyone else's. Anything I didn't hear about I would hear about from another certain person soon enough! It seems some people really do get a 'buzz' from gossip, be it theirs or that of others.

There is no way I would tell anyone about my personal life in the depth this person did unless I knew them very well indeed! I would tell people my personal life from the past, but to me once you have experienced something, made the decisions you had to make, and it has come to an end, it becomes a character building story and helps round your personality.

Speaking of having people of the opposite sex close to you as a friend, before my last long term relationship there were a few girls I used to knock about with (I was that post-adolescent age where you start interacting with the opposite sex more and let your guard down and 'put your differences aside' so to speak). When I got into the relationship, they all stopped making the effort bar maybe one as I was naive enough to think that friendship was all they wanted from me (they were all younger than me, and I had just gotten past that stage of hanging about with girls just to try and get into bed with them, so I'm guessing this was a similar sort of thing). One of them, who admittedly did have a crush on me before, got very jealous and we didn't speak until after I had split up with my girlfriend. Since then I have not been able to trust girls with private affairs as I am afraid of their motives, although this could just be a coincidence as I haven't met any that I can trust yet. I do still get on with and have no problem with women in general, though.

The way I see it, no matter how 'pure' a lifestyle you lead, there will always be things that will ode you better to hold back from others. Obviously certain things you can only tell to certain people, for instance you can't really tell your family about your sex life! Also some things you can write on a forum that lots of people you don't know will see, that you can't tell your closest friends.

In addition, I think anyone who bottles things up is a time-bomb waiting to go off. I have been through this first hand and when the shit hits the fan and you NEED to tell someone about what you've been keeping to yourself it makes it so much more awkward, and the person getting hurt the most is always you. If you are open about your feelings and thoughtful at versing your opinions you can avoid that and reach a happy balance.
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Noggin
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PostPosted: 02:00 - 27 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have some people who I am incredibly open with and others who I'm not. I think there has to be a decent level of trust with at least one person....

Getting hurt by those people is a risk I take I guess


Craig G(Noggin)
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TheDonUK
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PostPosted: 02:17 - 27 Oct 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

People carry too much baggage. Im one of those people that deal with others on an ad-hoc basis, that is to say however they present themselves i deal with them as that person. I dont really want to know if anyone stuck a banana up your bum as a kid or whatever...

Bottling up for the win Thumbs Up
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