My mum's getting married… what do I do?

[Az]

So, my mums been seeing this guy for 2 years, I like him a lot and he's very well suited to my mum and he rides a motorbike, which is always a positive in my eyes (albeit he does ride slow and considered a cruiser at one point, currently rides a pointy SV650S). My mum clearly wears the boots in the relationship and he's a bit of a softy/emotional man.

So… now that they've decided to get married and move in with each other, what do I do?

I'll be living with them for at least a year (don't plan on moving out until i'm 21/22 and have enough for a mortgage of my own) and he has to know that i'll always be the man of the house regardless of if he's older or married to my mum.

Does this also mean that I can't eat my coco pops in my boxers any more downstairs?

Don't get me wrong i'm very happy for them and i've been supportive of their relationship from the beginning (unlike my sister & brother) and we do get a long very well.


Is this where I give a manly talk about how i'll break his face if he upsets my mum ?

Do I just congratulate and carry on as normal?

Do I get all excited and give him a hug and speak about the whole thing and how i'm happy for them (this is what I feel like doing aha)

Buy a congratulations card haha?

Honestly i have no idea how to react, i'm extremely happy for them and I like the guy. But what do I do? Do I have to adapt how i'm going to be like at home, now that we're going to be living together.

Also, anyone who's been in a similar situation to me, how did ur life at home change, if it all that is? Is it weird getting used to seeing another man around the house, i mean i've been used to it just being me and my mum for the last 7/8 years at home and I see my dad on weekends.

TL:DR Mums marrying a man after seeing him for 2 years, we'll be living with each other (me, my mum and William), I get a long with him and will I have to change what i'm like around the house now he's going to be moving in?

[Benno]

Walk around naked

If he complains say "Welcome to MY home"
____________________
I'm autistic. That means I'm smarter than you.

[Tungtvann]

You mean he hasn't already been around the house a lot? Little changes, stop worrying.

[Az]

[mentalboy]

[Clutchy]

Dunno why you're making a big thing about it, also the man of the house is the one who pays the most of the bills IMO whoever that might be.


All that will happen is eventually your mum will be getting banged less often.

____________________
Malaguti F12 Phantom-Dead, Suzuki AY50- Dead, NRG power DD LQ, CBR125.
*33 BHP restriction up on 10/12/14* Current bikes/car: SV 650 S/ MKIV GOLF
Guide to pass your test with no lessons!

[Kari-On]

You walk around the house in your boxers, and still live with your mam?

Are you from Barnsley?

[Az]

[mentalboy]

You can put in 100% of the domestic bills/groceries, etc but unless your name's on the deeds you should expect to suck up to the owners, whether you like it or not. Sorry but it's a dog eat dog world out there.
____________________
Make mine a Corona.

[Clutchy]

[duhawkz]

[Az]

[mentalboy]

That's twice now Clutchy,

____________________
Make mine a Corona.

[Benno]

[bamt]

[krarkol]

My mums had a boyfriend over the last few years and they are pretty much on and off. But their problems are their problems. The only time I'd intervene is if any domestic abuse took place which is very unlikely anyway from the impressions I get of the guy.

I act like a guest at their house, except with a few more privileges. I'll treat it with respect but I'll still help myself to the fridge etc

I'm passive with anything they do really, if they announced they are getting married I would probably congratulate them but I wouldn't make a big deal of it and I wouldn't act any different. You don't need to either

Edit: I do however live with my dad so I'm more of a visitor at my mums. I do agree with Benno however. If my thing was sitting in my boxers eating cocoa pops and someone my mum was with told me to stop doing it, I'd refuse. If your mum is decent enough, she should take your side. No woman should choose a random mans side over her kids
____________________
Bandit 600 - deaded

[Polarbear]

If you don't like it and don't get on, guess who's going to have to move out.

Hint - It isn't your Mum or her husband.
____________________
Victory Cross Country American tractor.

[nowhere.elysium]

You're living under their roof. Short answer, grow up, and acknowledge the fact that it's their place, and not yours.

Contributing towards bills is only part of the job of paying your own way: if they're buying outright, you've got precisely sod all claim, and the fact that you're even considering trying make any mark of authority on proceedings paints you out as a petulant and overindulged child.

Your mother won't abandon you, but you should never exploit that at her expense. Equally, there's little point in the whole 'upset her and I'll damage you' talk: it'll come out by itself if she becomes unhappy.
____________________
'10 SV650SF, '83 GS650GT (it lives!), Questionable DIY dash project, 3D Printer project, Lasercutter project

[The Disapproving Brit]

You need to get out of this mindset that he's moving in with you and your mum, because that's not what's happening. Your mum and her husband are buying a new home together, and they are allowing you to move in with them. You are no longer the man of the house. If you find that situation unacceptable, get your own place.

That said, you say you get along with this bloke. That's good. Just carry on as normal, respect their space, and contribute where you can. There's no reason for this to be a big deal unless you make it into one, but if you make yourself a pain in the arse, he has every right to kick you out on your arse. That's why he is now the man of the house, not you.
____________________
Current Bikes: 1983 Honda VF400FD / 2003 Honda VT750 Shadow
Bike Test Passed 18/03/09, Car Test Passed 14/05/13

[pinkyfloyd]

It's starting to become a worrying trend. I am agreeing with Clutchy again.

I dont like this weird feeling!

On a serious note though. As much as you say you get on with him etc and happy all I can read into that is spoilt brat saying someone is coming to take mummy away.

The fact that they are now looking to sell both of their houses and move into a new house screams they they both want a fresh start together and you really should read that as "together alone just the 2 of them." As much as your mother says she wants you to move in with them the truth of the matter is probably closer to "I wont see you homeless" more than "come live with us."

Personally I think you should, if you are happy for them etc, consider moving out and setting up on your own so they can enjoy their new house and marriage without having to tiptoe around the house with you in it.
____________________
illuminateTHEmind wrote: I am just more evolved than most of you guys... this allows me to pick of things quickly which would have normally taken the common man years to master
Hockeystorm65:.well there are childish arguments...there are very childish arguments.....there are really stupid childish arguments and now there are......Pinkfloyd arguments!
Teflon-Mike:I think I agree with just about all Pinky has said.

[DrDonnyBrago]

Man "child" of the house .

ATM, your mum's house, her rules, don't like it then move out.

When he owns half the house, are you really thinking you'll be telling him what to do? Their house, their rules, don't like it then move out.

[Rogerborg]

[panrider_uk]

[DrSnoosnoo]

I can half understand where you're coming from but at 19, you're not the man of the house, instead your mum is both the woman AND man of the house.

I lived at home til I went to uni at 18 and never went back. Obviously I visited at the weekends etc etc and she had a long term BF who came over and I saw a lot of when growing up n shit. When they moved in together it was very much their house, I had no say. They let me stay there rent free when there were longer gaps in the terms because of placements, jobs etc. And I asked if I could take from the fridge but obviously could shower and go to my own room of my own accord.

As this man is marrying your mother, he will be taking on the same responsibities as her, that includes looking after you while YOU live with THEM. Be polite, if anything pisses either of you off, because you are set in your habits, you will have to talk like adults about it but ultimately what his opinion should take precedent.

Right now you're not a child but because you are your mother's son living at home, you're a child. Behave and do what you're told. "My house, my rules" and all that.
____________________
I'm Sam; Northern, Ginger, Lover
Did have: '95 ZZR600 '83 CG125 '97 ZZR1100 '15 Hypermotard 821 SP Do Have: '10 ZX10R

[wr6133]

You are not the "man" of the house now.

Sorry to sound a cunt but you appear as a spoiled over indulged child this thread shows it. You want to be a man move out and stand on your own 2 feet, waiting a few years so you can move out and get a mortgage sounds a poor excuse that I translate as "living cheap here means I can have lots of disposable cash and my washing is done and meals cooked".

I also think Pink Floyd is right, them selling up and buying a house is them making a start together, your mum won't see you homeless but you are probably actually about as welcome as a fart in a space suit. Also leaves you about as much space for claiming to be a man let alone the man of the house as Hitler has for being a righteous gentile.

TLDR - Man the Fuck Up and stand on your 2 feet rather than hiding behind apron strings