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Girlfriend issues! Help me out mighty BCF!

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TwoWheelsDail...
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Joined: 23 Oct 2012
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PostPosted: 20:14 - 23 Jan 2014    Post subject: Girlfriend issues! Help me out mighty BCF! Reply with quote

Hi folks,

Feeling abit down and thought I should try and talk about it instead of getting down in the dumps!

Basically,

I have been with my girlfriend for a year and a half. I'm 21, she is 39 Wink

She has been ill for the last few weeks and has been thinking about moving to Devon. Just so your aware Devon is a good 4 hours from where I live.

I obviously don't want her to move but she is pretty much set in her ways, the only thing that is stopping her is me. (Her words not mine)

I think that she is getting very stressed about this all as I have told her I'm not moving as I have a very close relationship with my family and I have a great job, she wants to move to the middle of nowhere, no jobs no nothing.

Last night she went off on one, shouting, screaming, saying "I'm sick of people organising me, everyone can fuck off. All I want is to be happy and it's so hard for everybody else to let me be happy!" She kept on about the organising thing.

Now I don't try to organise her at all, I live on my own but spend 3 or 4 days a week at hers. I don't ever actually organise her, I ask if I can help out at all but we tend to do our own thing most of the time unless we are watching tv, chatting etc.

She quit her job a few months ago and is now at home with her two kids all day.

Have I actually done anything wrong or is she just venting all the pent up worries on me? She hasn't spoken to me all day, normally she texts me a few times a day. We have argued a few times before but she always talks to me still, even if it is short texts etc.

Do I just leave her for a while to let her come to her sences?

Cheers.
Benn
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pinkyfloyd
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PostPosted: 20:26 - 23 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

A few things that may not help.

Why does she want to move to Devon? I can understand you not wanting to go. Moving is a huge upheaval and new job etc can cause serious stress.

Second thing. You're 21. She's pushing 40. I'm not going to be all agest or anything but you have your life ahead of you. If she is that set on moving away then let her go. If you do not want to go with her then move on. You're still young. No matter how much love there is in a relationship one thing I have noticed is you eventually get over every hurt.
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J4mes
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PostPosted: 20:26 - 23 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

You post pics and in return we comfort and advise.

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mentalboy
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PostPosted: 20:30 - 23 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

pinkyfloyd wrote:

Why does she want to move to Devon?


Are you shitting me???
Devon is THE best county for shagging 40 year old single mums Wink
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Lord Percy
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PostPosted: 20:30 - 23 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sounds like she's having a massive mid-life crisis.

Typically (google told me) when people are stressed, depressed, or unhappy in any way, they get the urge to 'just get away from it all', and have fanciful ideas of packing their things up and just going to a whole new life and it being a magical utopia on the other side.

I kind of had these sorts of ideas after 4ish years in the worst job of my life. General boredom, no sense of control or direction, every day seems utterly pointless, hence thoughts of escape seem wonderful. Maybe she's in a similar frame of mind?
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pinkyfloyd
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PostPosted: 20:32 - 23 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

mentalboy wrote:
pinkyfloyd wrote:

Why does she want to move to Devon?


Are you shitting me???
Devon is THE best county for shagging 40 year old single mums Wink


But hes already shagging a 40 year old single mum. I am wondering why the single mum wants to move to Devon. Laughing
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illuminateTHEmind wrote: I am just more evolved than most of you guys... this allows me to pick of things quickly which would have normally taken the common man years to master
Hockeystorm65:.well there are childish arguments...there are very childish arguments.....there are really stupid childish arguments and now there are......Pinkfloyd arguments!
Teflon-Mike:I think I agree with just about all Pinky has said.
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TwoWheelsDail...
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PostPosted: 20:33 - 23 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lord Percy wrote:
Sounds like she's having a massive mid-life crisis.

Typically (google told me) when people are stressed, depressed, or unhappy in any way, they get the urge to 'just get away from it all', and have fanciful ideas of packing their things up and just going to a whole new life and it being a magical utopia on the other side.

I kind of had these sorts of ideas after 4ish years in the worst job of my life. General boredom, no sense of control or direction, every day seems utterly pointless, hence thoughts of escape seem wonderful. Maybe she's in a similar frame of mind?


That does sound very familiar actually. She wants to move to Devon because her best and only real friend moved there last year and she says she is missing her. However the friend lives on the other side of Devon in which she wants to move to.

She doesn't have any close family around so all she has is her two kids and me. I have told her I'm not going to beg her to stay and if that's what she wants then she can go but I'm not going to be happy about it!
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Clutchy
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PostPosted: 20:34 - 23 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

She's old and crazy...


Why are you still with her!?
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JonB
Afraid of Mileage



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PostPosted: 20:39 - 23 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

Old enough to be your mum.

You've got the rest of your life ahead of you. She has baggage.

Plenty more fish in the sea and all that.
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CHR15
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PostPosted: 20:40 - 23 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

pics?
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Nb
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PostPosted: 20:55 - 23 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sack her off and get real ffs. Theres age gap and that gap, step away!!!! Shocked
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Rogerborg
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PostPosted: 21:15 - 23 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

https://www.thenorthendzone.com/images/stories/tenorman.gif

[Pat|screw] her [on|in] the arse, wave a cheery goodbye. You're 21, knock off the mid life angst.
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Wafer_Thin_Ham
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PostPosted: 21:18 - 23 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bin her off. Go and bag some slags.
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chris-red
Have you considered a TDM?



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PostPosted: 21:49 - 23 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wafer_Thin_Ham wrote:
Bin her off. Go and bag some slags.


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Nobby the Bastard
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PostPosted: 21:49 - 23 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

How would being in Dorset/Bahamas/New Zealand stop her from being ill?
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Poseidon
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PostPosted: 22:20 - 23 Jan 2014    Post subject: Re: Girlfriend issues! Help me out mighty BCF! Reply with quote

TwoWheelsDaily wrote:
she is 39 Wink

I think that she is getting very stressed about this

Last night she went off on one, shouting, screaming, saying "I'm sick of people organising me, everyone can fuck off. All I want is to be happy and it's so hard for everybody else to let me be happy!" She kept on about the organising thing.

She quit her job a few months ago

She hasn't spoken to me all day, normally she texts me a few times a day.


Could be menopause.
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-Matt-
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PostPosted: 22:41 - 23 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd move on personally. I know 'age doesnt matter' and 'it can work', which of course it can but longterm the reality is 20 years down the line the situation may become a lot more problematic. Get out and enjoy your young life with young people Thumbs Up
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dodsi
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PostPosted: 23:05 - 23 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son...
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metalangel
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PostPosted: 23:06 - 23 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

J4mes wrote:
You post pics and in return we comfort and advise.

Thumbs Up


The dream:

https://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/dam/assets/120510063739-cougar-town-courteney-cox-story-top.jpg

The reality:

https://cdn.24.co.za/files/Cms/General/d/2163/6c058ba1d19c42aa8e26fc9540003656.jpg

Funny thing is, if it was the other way around we'd all be like Clapping Dance! Very Happy Thumbs Up

Does this bitch have a lot of money to be an effective sugar momma, given she's just quit her job?
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Last edited by metalangel on 23:08 - 23 Jan 2014; edited 2 times in total
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Wafer_Thin_Ham
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PostPosted: 23:07 - 23 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

metalangel wrote:


Does this bitch have a lot of money to be an effective sugar momma, given she's just quit her job?


Maybe she just gives amazing blowies?
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metalangel
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PostPosted: 23:09 - 23 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wafer_Thin_Ham wrote:


Maybe she just gives amazing blowies?


Before or after she's taken her teeth out, etc etc
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swampy
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PostPosted: 23:11 - 23 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

dodsi wrote:
If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son...


She got 99 wrinkles and a really saggy bum...
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Wafer_Thin_Ham
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PostPosted: 23:12 - 23 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

metalangel wrote:


Before or after she's taken her teeth out, etc etc


She soaks them in peppermint flavoured cleaner, that's why the blowies are amazing. Just ask the rest of BCF. Razz
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Derivative
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PostPosted: 23:49 - 23 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lord Percy wrote:
Sounds like she's having a massive mid-life crisis.

Typically (google told me) when people are stressed, depressed, or unhappy in any way, they get the urge to 'just get away from it all', and have fanciful ideas of packing their things up and just going to a whole new life and it being a magical utopia on the other side.

I kind of had these sorts of ideas after 4ish years in the worst job of my life. General boredom, no sense of control or direction, every day seems utterly pointless, hence thoughts of escape seem wonderful. Maybe she's in a similar frame of mind?


This is definitely on the mark. I have exactly the same feeling quite often when I'm feeling particularly stressed and plenty of friends have experienced the same thing.

I don't actually think it's all that irrational either, living in the same place for a while means a lot of familiarity. Same friendship groups, work environment, memories of places you've been and events, that sort of thing.

Plus, regardless of whether the new place is a utopia, it's still new and shiny.

If it were me, I'd be as supportive as possible with her move and tell her that if she thinks it's the best thing for her then you'll be happy. Whether you actually feel that way or not. It sounds as if she's going through quite a hard time.

It's quite a common thing at University, people spend three, four, more years here, and move away for work. If couples can't agree on where to go, or if job offers are in radically different places, there is no real solution other than to just call it a day, because there is no compromise - one person would have to move to somewhere they don't really want to go.
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wr6133
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PostPosted: 08:48 - 24 Jan 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bin her. Why do you want to be with a woman nearly twice your age with 2 kids that ain't yours? You are 21 you should be out there nailing everything with a pulse and short skirt.... if you don't you'll regret it by the time you are 30!

Also think of this....... soon she will dry up and your sex life will consist of the sensation of shagging a crinkled up loose old envelope.

and 39 years old, 2 kids and no man..... she clearly is nuts/psycho/bunny boiler/shit in bed and you simply have failed to smell the man repellent she is emitting.
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